A suicide at UVA

[Anonymous]

Just heard about a suicide this week at UVA. Does anyone know anything? My D's best friend goes there and told her. I feel like they are so frequent in the last few years, tragic.

[Anonymous]

I am in no way being snarky but I hope this has nothing to do with the Rolling Stone fabrication.

[Anonymous]

"frequent" doesn't mean what you think it does.

[Anonymous]

OP, why is this your business? The only person who knows "why" is the poor tormented soul who decided to end his or her life. It is extremely tacky for outsiders to speculate. Have some respect for the grieving family.

[Anonymous]

I have to agree that I hate the DCUM crowd sourcing when it comes to one of our own kids and especially something so incredibly tragic and personal. If someone posts a public story, that's fine. But this subject always always brings out the Dr Phil's of the crowd who chime in with their own (almost certainly) irrelevant rhetoric. Sure, have a discussion about suicide, just not tied with this child's death (if this did in fact occur, which I have no idea).

[Anonymous]

The naysayers above are part of the problem There IS such thing as a healthy open honest dialogue. Thats part of the problem people wanting to hide it under the rug.

No we NEED to discuss it, why its happening and remove the stigma from mental illness (likely cause). As someone whose own child went through a very depressive state and had to skip a semester of college, I feel very strongly about this.

Of course it is tragic and it is natural for people to talk about it, it does not meant hey are not being sensitive to the situation. It is a natural curiosity particularly for parents to wonder why.

[Anonymous]

Respecting individual privacy does not mean you are "sweeping it under the rug." Sure, have a conversation about suicide in general, or even suicide in college students, but don't come her to solicit gossip about one individual.

[Anonymous]

Coming here is not soliciting gossip. My goodness, it is unreal the reactions some have to this subject.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The naysayers above are part of the problem There IS such thing as a healthy open honest dialogue. Thats part of the problem people wanting to hide it under the rug.

No we NEED to discuss it, why its happening and remove the stigma from mental illness (likely cause). As someone whose own child went through a very depressive state and had to skip a semester of college, I feel very strongly about this.

Of course it is tragic and it is natural for people to talk about it, it does not meant hey are not being sensitive to the situation. It is a natural curiosity particularly for parents to wonder why.

Then kindly spinoff and start an appropriate thread. Not "naysaying" at all. Please don't drag your (important) talk in with a child and child's suffering you know absolutely nothing about. This isn't Redditt or FFX Underground. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

More people die of suicide than homicide in the US, and the majority of suicides are committed using guns.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The naysayers above are part of the problem There IS such thing as a healthy open honest dialogue. Thats part of the problem people wanting to hide it under the rug.

No we NEED to discuss it, why its happening and remove the stigma from mental illness (likely cause). As someone whose own child went through a very depressive state and had to skip a semester of college, I feel very strongly about this.

Of course it is tragic and it is natural for people to talk about it, it does not meant hey are not being sensitive to the situation. It is a natural curiosity particularly for parents to wonder why.

I've had a seriously depressed DC as well and I agree about having an open conversation. But so often on this board such discussions stray into "why was this child so screwed up so I can establish that mine is safe." The "reasons" are always a complicated combination of genetics and environment. I hope the school takes a good look at what happened and how they can do better. Thats where this discussion should occur because thats where it can make a difference. I have no interest in people's curiosity. If you have nothing to contribute, go away. This is a terrible tragedy and not entertainment.

I am particularly concerned about discussions of suicide because of the contagion factor. These things happen in clusters because one suicide normalizes it for others. Experts say that the attention of the media can exacerbate this problem. It is not a neutral thing to publicize these deaths -- there can be good from it, but there's a downside as well.

So, again, I really hope that the conversation is occurring in the place where it can make the most difference, at the school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Coming here is not soliciting gossip. My goodness, it is unreal the reactions some have to this subject.

Maybe you'd feel differently if it was your loved one who committed suicide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The naysayers above are part of the problem There IS such thing as a healthy open honest dialogue. Thats part of the problem people wanting to hide it under the rug.

No we NEED to discuss it, why its happening and remove the stigma from mental illness (likely cause). As someone whose own child went through a very depressive state and had to skip a semester of college, I feel very strongly about this.

Of course it is tragic and it is natural for people to talk about it, it does not meant hey are not being sensitive to the situation. It is a natural curiosity particularly for parents to wonder why.

I've had a seriously depressed DC as well and I agree about having an open conversation. But so often on this board such discussions stray into "why was this child so screwed up so I can establish that mine is safe." The "reasons" are always a complicated combination of genetics and environment. I hope the school takes a good look at what happened and how they can do better. Thats where this discussion should occur because thats where it can make a difference. I have no interest in people's curiosity. If you have nothing to contribute, go away. This is a terrible tragedy and not entertainment.

I am particularly concerned about discussions of suicide because of the contagion factor. These things happen in clusters because one suicide normalizes it for others. Experts say that the attention of the media can exacerbate this problem. It is not a neutral thing to publicize these deaths -- there can be good from it, but there's a downside as well.

So, again, I really hope that the conversation is occurring in the place where it can make the most difference, at the school.

This is exactly it. People are seeking false reassurance that it could never happen to their child because their child: (Pick all that apply) a) is from a "good" home; b) does not do drugs; c) is in the honors program; d) is in a stable relationship; d) has no history of mental illness, etc., etc. The truth is it could happen to any of us.

[Anonymous]

I think most are being a bit harsh on the OP who possibly was curious to see if anyone heard. It is hardly unnatural to ask and it doesn't'; sound like was doing it to "gossip" but out of curiously, I find nothing wrong with it. Incidentally I have not heard of it, surely does not mean it did not happen

Always tragic to think of anyone feeling that life is not worth living that that is their only option. Having known a few kids who have battled mental illness to differing degrees, once it takes hold it is very difficult to overcome and battle. I do think the stigma is slowly being lifted, but there is much work to be done, just look at the reaction by some here.

If someone was asking did you hear of the kid from X Univ who died of cancer,, it would not prompt that reaction. People need to chill out and start trying to understand why this happens and not be afraid to have the conversation.

[Anonymous]

I went to a college after a number of sometimes gruesome suicides happened. Someone I knew committed suicide my sophomore year. No note was left. I will try not to generalize but many of the cases were students that felt they could not live up to expectations. Doesn't matter the reason, though. It is always so sad for the community and the family.