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What's it really like at the Big 3?
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Anonymous
99% WPPSI. Only 400K income. Living in Bethesda rather than upper NW. You know. Average. |
Anonymous
| I was the one who called myself average. We are not powerful, nor do we have close friends who are. We are well educated but so is almost everyone else around here. Although we do have some money most of our friends and neighbors probably wouldn't guess that. We are not attractive, and I am far from stylish. We give money here and there, but not enough to hit anyone's radar screen. Our DC probably got in because of a good playdate and excellent recommendations from preschool. DC is happy there and we are too. |
Anonymous
This is off the subject, but I hear this often lately - is living in upper nw considered more prestigious? Also where do most of the preppy Georgetown crowds kids go to school? |
Anonymous
| Of course it is. No matter how much many people would like to pretend otherwise (i.e. "we're from DC"), CC, Bethesda, Potomac, McLean etc is still "the burbs..." |
Anonymous
Living from paycheck to paycheck. |
Anonymous
The ones I know (most are ages 3-8) are mostly at Beauvoir and St Pats and Sidwell, oh, and a couple at Potomac, probably in that order but the 1st two are close. |
Anonymous
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I am a student at a "Big 3" school, and my sister is a student at another "Big 3" school. At my school, no students care about other student's financial situations, and there is no "I won't go to your house because it isn't big enough". My parents agree that my school also treats parents equally. However, at this other "Big 3" school that my sister goes to, though it is a great school, has been said to treat families differently based on financial status. At a friend's graduation from this school, I was told he was basically ignored, while the richest students/their parents spoke. However, at my sister's school, the students themselves do not care about how much money others have.
Additionally, each school has a huge spectrum of money. |
Anonymous
This is the reason why we didn't apply to Sidwell. At NCS the FA families tend to get ignored also. |
Anonymous
Im sorry did you say you are a STUDENT at a big 3 school? 
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Anonymous
| If this is indeed a student, and I have no reason to think it's not, this would not be the first time a student's posted on DCUM. |
Anonymous
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Well, for one thing, there's no such thing as the Big 3. Each DC attends one school (not three or four or more) and that school has its own culture. In fact, it's a culture that is, in some ways, quite different from the other so-called Big 3 schools, which may be exactly why you chose it. So it's just not a relevant concept or frame of reference post-admissions.
Then these schools are large enough and diverse enough (and parents are different enough) that there's no generic social experience once you hold school constant. I guess if you're very status-conscious and feel out of your league, that would suck. But the divide I see more is between parents who spend a lot of time at the school and parents who don't. To some extent, that's a SAHP vs. working couple dynamic rather than a wealth/social status one. You have SAHPs at both ends of the wealth/status spectrum. And, of course, not every SAHP (or PT/WAHP) chooses to spend lots of time at school -- so it's also about where your social center of gravity is. I'm sufficiently anti-social that I never expect to like most people, LOL, so I just find my niche. Wasn't hard to do. My DC is the same way -- from what I see, the kids' friendships are based on compatibility (interests/personalities) and, to some extent, geography and/or whether the parents connect as well. Neither DC nor I has been courted or rejected based on fame/fortune/social connections. |
Anonymous
I've heard Sidwell is worse than NCS. STA is fine with no oddities based on income and status. DS's are on their own at STA and "momsie " can't help. There is parent BS but STA has a system where there are grade level parents assigned and they communicate with everyone weekly. No one is excluded. |
Anonymous
| In my experience, Sidwell has the friendliest Big 3 parents and the most socioeconomic diversity. |
Anonymous
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I'd like to think that the parents at my child's school treat one another the same regardless of socioecomic class, but I was most astonished to find that a current parent who is African-American and to who seems virtually shunned at school events is actually an alumnus who attended the school on scholarship and was a varsity athlete! I learned this when I came across his name in the school directory with his year of graduation after it, as all alumni are designated. Could it be that race and FA status are insurmountable barriers at this school? Are other parents perhaps unaware that this parent is an alumnus? As a member of a minority group (though not African-American) and a relatively new parent at this school, I have felt like an outsider at school events, but I don't know how much of this is my being relatively new, my seeming aloof (as I have been told since I was eight years old!), my being a minority, other parents' being shy, other parents' being exclusive . . . . Who knows?
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Anonymous
I think it depends. There are plenty of AAs and other minorities at our school who are treated just fine. There are people who I suspect might be on FA (pretty low key jobs, but I don't know for sure) and they are treated fine as well. I can't speak as to why the gentleman you speak of is being mistreated. Perhaps you should ask him what he thinks?
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