how to bring up std testing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 year old divorced woman and have been in the dating scene for not quite a year. Since my divorce, I've been intimate with four men and ALL of them have tried to have sex without a condom. In fact, they seem surprised when I request it. Also, all of them have not initiated talk of STDs - I've been the one to do that. Been out of the dating scene for a long time and I am really surprised by this.

Older guys hate condoms. There's a generation gap between men who grew up before the AIDs epidemic when boys started getting "wear a condon" drilled into their heads at school. I'm in my 30s and would never "raw dog" anyone unless we were in an LTR and I had a high degree of trust that she wasn't nuts.

[Anonymous]

I have discussed STDs with all my resent partners (three in the last two years). Condoms were required until we were in a committed relationship and had STD testing. I still got HPV.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 40 year old divorced woman and have been in the dating scene for not quite a year. Since my divorce, I've been intimate with four men and ALL of them have tried to have sex without a condom. In fact, they seem surprised when I request it. Also, all of them have not initiated talk of STDs - I've been the one to do that. Been out of the dating scene for a long time and I am really surprised by this.

Older guys hate condoms. There's a generation gap between men who grew up before the AIDs epidemic when boys started getting "wear a condon" drilled into their heads at school. I'm in my 30s and would never "raw dog" anyone unless we were in an LTR and I had a high degree of trust that she wasn't nuts.

I am poster PP. Three of the four men have been 40+ . The other one was 36. I honestly don't know what is going through their minds! And I have not been exclusive with any of these guys - so if they are doing this to me then they are for sure trying to have sex with other women without protection!

[Anonymous]

In this day in age please insist on STD testing. There are a lot of fit and attractive people with HIV. It's not something I'd play russian roulette with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have discussed STDs with all my resent partners (three in the last two years). Condoms were required until we were in a committed relationship and had STD testing. I still got HPV.

How do you think this happened? Do you think your partner recently exposed and it just didn't show up in the test?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have discussed STDs with all my resent partners (three in the last two years). Condoms were required until we were in a committed relationship and had STD testing. I still got HPV.

HPV isn't always stopped by condoms, that's why the majority of sexually active people get it at one point or another. Most are asymptomatic.

[Anonymous]

Sperm is the disease vector--so yeah, women are rightly annoyed with you since they have more to fear from you, theoretically. Just wear a condom, ffs. And no oral until you really know her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have discussed STDs with all my resent partners (three in the last two years). Condoms were required until we were in a committed relationship and had STD testing. I still got HPV.

How do you think this happened? Do you think your partner recently exposed and it just didn't show up in the test?

Men aren't tested for it.

[Anonymous]

I would be wary of the ones that would refuse to get tested, it's easy free and quick

[Anonymous]

I think the lack of understanding of available and accurate STD testing is dangerous. Educate yourselves, please.

Standard testing: syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV. HSV2 blood testing is available, but it's not very reliable. Women are tested for HPV during a pap. Some of these viruses takes months to years to show up on a test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have discussed STDs with all my resent partners (three in the last two years). Condoms were required until we were in a committed relationship and had STD testing. I still got HPV.

How do you think this happened? Do you think your partner recently exposed and it just didn't show up in the test?

Men aren't tested for it.

I am the PP who asked the question. I've been out of the dating scene for a very long time. It is truly amazing to me how easy it is to get an std nowadays. It seems like everyone has them! The dating scene is very scary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the lack of understanding of available and accurate STD testing is dangerous. Educate yourselves, please.

Standard testing: syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV. HSV2 blood testing is available, but it's not very reliable. Women are tested for HPV during a pap. Some of these viruses takes months to years to show up on a test.

I know that herpes can take 10-16 weeks for to become active in the body. Can you please tell me which STDs take years to show up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think the lack of understanding of available and accurate STD testing is dangerous. Educate yourselves, please.

Standard testing: syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV. HSV2 blood testing is available, but it's not very reliable. Women are tested for HPV during a pap. Some of these viruses takes months to years to show up on a test.

Why is HSV2 not reliable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have discussed STDs with all my resent partners (three in the last two years). Condoms were required until we were in a committed relationship and had STD testing. I still got HPV.

How do you think this happened? Do you think your partner recently exposed and it just didn't show up in the test?

Men aren't tested for it.

I am the PP who asked the question. I've been out of the dating scene for a very long time. It is truly amazing to me how easy it is to get an std nowadays. It seems like everyone has them! The dating scene is very scary.

I believe at least half the female population has HPV in some age groups, according to the CDC. It's asymptomatic in most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the lack of understanding of available and accurate STD testing is dangerous. Educate yourselves, please.

Standard testing: syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and HIV. HSV2 blood testing is available, but it's not very reliable. Women are tested for HPV during a pap. Some of these viruses takes months to years to show up on a test.

Why is HSV2 not reliable?

I think it's an antibody test. The tests on sores are accurate.