My feelings are hurt ...

[Anonymous]

You guys are harsh. To me, OP is in a really fragile place with self esteem. No need to beat her down more.

[Anonymous]

Op, he's not sending you a message. If you're going on an anonymous message board and detailing your body image issues - well yeah, you're kinda screwed-up.

[Anonymous]

Beat her down ? Her man is beating her down. And wanting her to starve.

I'd buy a big pullover sweater, put it on and commence to eating a whole pie plus some cheeseburgers right in front of Mr. I Love the Waif Look.

Then I'd tell loverboy to KISS MY FAT ASS !

[Anonymous]

I agree with the above poster. If true, DH is a dick!

[Anonymous]

Your DH should like YOU, not "waifish women."

[Anonymous]

You may be.

And it is normal to feel that way.

Us women are just too damn hard on ourselves about our bodies. We will always be our harshest critics no matter what anyone tells us.

What you need to do is talk to your husband directly and let him know how you feel about your body. Hopefully he will provide you with some kind remarks that will give some confidence to not take everything too personally from now on.

However only YOU and YOU alone, not him...Can make yourself feel right about yourself in the long run.

Try to start working on some self-love and self-acceptance starting right now. Easier said than done, I know.

Perhaps seeing a women's counselor who has experience in this field or even purchasing a book that deals with this type of issue, a self-help type book could help you out.

And what better time than the New Year.

Good luck!~

[Anonymous]

OP, neither you nor your DH is going to be able to do anything right or successful or caring in this scenario you have created.

Your DH can't buy you any size sweater at all. If he buys you an XXS, he is 'making a statement' that he will only accept you ultra-thin. If he buys you a size any larger than that, he is 'making a statement' that you are fat and somehow ugly to him.

You can't possibly do the right thing in this scenario either. You can't eat normally. You can't gain an ounce due to illness or medication or life's natural vagaries. You can't go without looking at the tag on your sweater for five seconds. You can't wear what flatters you versus what is the tiniest size and may be immensely unflattering.

This is no way to live.

[Anonymous]

First, size 6-8 is fine. We all put on weight as we fill out. I wish my DW were a 6-8 or even 10-12, but she is 18-20. I am big, but she now weighs more than me (I am 255, but 6'2").

Your problem is not is assessment of your weight, but you feeling bad about your weight. That is not his problem -- you need to learn that YOU have value, and not just an ultra-skinny you. For that, I may suggest therapy -- to become comfortable with who you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beat her down ? Her man is beating her down. And wanting her to starve.

I'd buy a big pullover sweater, put it on and commence to eating a whole pie plus some cheeseburgers right in front of Mr. I Love the Waif Look.

Then I'd tell loverboy to KISS MY FAT ASS !

In what way is her man beating her down? And what is wrong about him liking thin women? Where in OP post does it mention starving?

Sound like YOU have some major anger issues going on yourself!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Beat her down ? Her man is beating her down. And wanting her to starve.

I'd buy a big pullover sweater, put it on and commence to eating a whole pie plus some cheeseburgers right in front of Mr. I Love the Waif Look.

Then I'd tell loverboy to KISS MY FAT ASS !

Let me guess- single?

[Anonymous]

Get to the gym.

[Anonymous]

Wow, you guys are being really mean.

Op, I don't see anything wrong with dh getting you a medium sweater. Sounds like that's your size and FYI most women your height would love to be that weight and size!

I do see your complaints about how he has reacted to your weights otherwise. Sounds like he has issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, you guys are being really mean.

Op, I don't see anything wrong with dh getting you a medium sweater. Sounds like that's your size and FYI most women your height would love to be that weight and size!

I do see your complaints about how he has reacted to your weights otherwise. Sounds like he has issues.

What has he done to react to her weight, other than not saying anything about her slightly bigger body? If he raves about it she'll know he's lying and then she'll be mad about that. He sounds like he is in a no win situation.

[Anonymous]

OP, would you feel better if he had gotten you an XXS, that you couldn't fit into?

The issue is not the sweater, is that you've put on weight and are in a normal/slender range, but you assume (and you may be right) that your DH does not find you attractive at this weight. You have been anxious your entire relationship to remain underweight to please him, which suggests some self esteem issues and body issues on your part, and he has not reinforced you in an y positive way sinc you've put on weight due to medication. It sounds like an unhealthy dynamic. You need to feel comfortable with yourself at what is a healthy weight, and DH needs to support you there. Also sounds like you need to talk about it with him rather than coming up with crazy paranoid scenarios which may or may not have a basis in reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, would you feel better if he had gotten you an XXS, that you couldn't fit into?

The issue is not the sweater, is that you've put on weight and are in a normal/slender range, but you assume (and you may be right) that your DH does not find you attractive at this weight. You have been anxious your entire relationship to remain underweight to please him, which suggests some self esteem issues and body issues on your part, and he has not reinforced you in an y positive way sinc you've put on weight due to medication. It sounds like an unhealthy dynamic. You need to feel comfortable with yourself at what is a healthy weight, and DH needs to support you there. Also sounds like you need to talk about it with him rather than coming up with crazy paranoid scenarios which may or may not have a basis in reality.

This.