Reply to Don't know who I'm madder at, DH or In-laws

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[quote=Anonymous]

OP - How old are your children?  I ask this because if both are say school-aged boys and a teenage boy was hired for a couple of hours with his Mom at home and number in hand that is one thing (not great, though); however, if at least one of your children was closer to a toddler and might have needed direct changing or bathroom help and a girl and a teen boy was hired, then I would definitely be furious with the in-laws.

You need to sit down with your in-laws and calmly express your disappointment with them saying that they know you yourself have never used a teen sitter for what can be very valid reasons.  They knowingly did not disclose their plan to use a teen sitter.  And, if something had come up, they should have told you so you could meet the sitter and/or consider whether to use him/her and make the final decision.  Tell them it will take time to rebuild any trust to watch the kids because of this.   I would not kill this options, but really set hard expectations on any future opportunity to watch the kids.

Meantime, as I tell my middle daughter, get going on finding at least one reliable sitter who meets your criteria so you will have options to go out - be it older teenager, community college or adult.  You can use places like Care.com or Sitters.com.   Check neighborhood list.serves or ask around friends for recommendations.  One of the best ways is to start a younger teen out as a "Mother's Helper" and train them yourself.   Then try any sitter, even an adult, out during the day and return unexpectedly early or in between if just getting out yourself to see how things are going.  One good thing is that you already have one child who can talk and tell you what is going on so there is safety in knowing that milestone has been reached.[/quote]

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