Contacting spouse during the work day

[Anonymous]

Totally unacceptable on DH's part.

You need a better way to get ahold of him, though.

Work line? Work email?

Talk this through with him.

[Anonymous]

There has to be some way his co-workers reach him during the day. Find out what that is and go that way with it.

[Anonymous]

OP, did you try calling him on his office phone?

[Anonymous]

I don't pay much attention to my cell phone during the day. DH doesn't text at all, and gets pretty spotty reception in his office building. We call each other at our desks, or email (work or gmail).

OP, ask your husband how he would like to be contacted.

[Anonymous]

Call his office desk phone or send something to his work e-mail.

[Anonymous]

If it's something he needs to know or I need a response to I email his work account. He's at work, he isn't supposed to be checking his phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DH and I work full time; 7 month old son goes to daycare.

Is it overly demanding of me to want him to check his phone throughout the day? I only text/call if something comes up, which might be once or twice a week, but when I do, he's MIA. He has a boring office job, so it's not like he's performing brain surgery.

Ex 1 - I was supposed to pick up DS from daycare after work. The plan was for him to text me after morning drop off to let me know where the car is parked (at home or near daycare). No text at noon, so I text. No response. I call and leave a voicemail. No response. Several calls, texts, and hours later, I go on a wild goose chase for the car and I'm late picking up the baby.

Ex 2 - I forgot to bring food to daycare and get a call from the provider. Call DH to see if he can drop by, since it's a 5 minute drive from his work. Again, no answer, so leave a voicemail. Leave a text. An hour later, no reply, so I leave work and metro 30 minutes to daycare to bring food. He replies 4 hours later.

I completely understand that we get wrapped up with work, but I would like to trust that he'd be available in an emergency. For me it's a major issue. He has a kid now and needs to stop the BS. His argument is that somehow people survived without cell phones 20 years ago.

It sounds passive-aggressive on his part. Maybe he doesn't like how you describe his job. Many men get their identity from their career. If you have the attitude that what he does every day is boring, and by implication not important, maybe he resents you for thinking that, and ignores your texts accordingly. I would if I were him.

[Anonymous]

This post made me laugh - because DH had a secretary who didn't want to do her job. She did things like ask for a huge raise "or I have to work in my cousin's nail salon".....

She was nasty and wanted no part of me. She could not have been more obvious. Anyway, this was before cell phones, and she had the audacity to question me when I returned DH's call once. She was gone, baby, gone soon thereafter......

I thought OP's title was about something similar. OP, just go ahead and email if it is urgent. Will he receive it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just call his work number if it's that type of an emergency.

I don't like to deal with my cell at work. I usually turn it off, as I'd rather focus on getting work done. Who wants to hear email notifications, text beeps and talk on the cell all day. If it's an emergency, call my work number. Otherwise, I'll get your voicemail or text when I get it.

Do you have kids in school?

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed / mad too. Especially if I had to go hunting for the car!

Before kids, I would not have my phone around me all of the time and could go the whole day without checking. Since kids, however, I always have it on me in case there is an emergency and preschool or my husband needs to reach me regarding a situation involving my children. Is he just refusing to check it completely so he wouldn't know if his kid was in the emergency room? That seems totally bizarre to me. I don't check my personal email at work, but I will check a text to make sure it's not a situation that needs immediate attention.

But, then, DH and I often touch base before we leave work just to coordinate who is doing what that night.

[Anonymous]

Totally not ok.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's so weird. The only time my husband doesn't answer or reply quicky is if he's in a meeting - and even then he will send a quicky "busy" or "meeting"

+1

[Anonymous]

OP. Thanks, all. The pattern now when this happens is for him to be quasi-sorry and actually reachable for a week or so. Then it happens again. And again. And we come up with a plan for what he should do when his cell phone is dead (email!) or when he's in a long meeting (quick I'm busy text!) or whatever. Then it happens again. And I do try email when calls and texts don't work.

This last time I wondered if I'm being unreasonable, but it seems the majority of DCUM agrees with me. Somewhat comforting, I guess. It's so infuriating that I've started fantasizing about leaving him. Ridiculous fantasies because he is an otherwise good guy. Kind of a dope, but a good guy.

[Anonymous]

Hes having an affair with his assistant

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP. Thanks, all. The pattern now when this happens is for him to be quasi-sorry and actually reachable for a week or so. Then it happens again. And again. And we come up with a plan for what he should do when his cell phone is dead (email!) or when he's in a long meeting (quick I'm busy text!) or whatever. Then it happens again. And I do try email when calls and texts don't work.

This last time I wondered if I'm being unreasonable, but it seems the majority of DCUM agrees with me. Somewhat comforting, I guess. It's so infuriating that I've started fantasizing about leaving him. Ridiculous fantasies because he is an otherwise good guy. Kind of a dope, but a good guy.

Nice way to talk about your husband.