"Party girl" reputation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah, I see. You want "professional, successful, well-to-do" guys, not a boozed-up party boy from the Jersey Shore. And yet you behave like Snooki and you expect the Mr. Darcys of the world to just fall for you?

And let's not even get started on your not-so-secret gold-digger tendencies here.

Successful, rich men have endless options, especially if they are successful, rich and good-looking. Men like that want gracious, elegant, well-mannered, lady-like women. That doesn't mean she can't be outgoing and empowered and very smart and successful, but it does mean she doesn't make him look bad by getting drunk at bars or having random, sleazy hook-ups.

You want a gentleman, act like a lady.

There is a whole spectrum of guys between those two extremes.

Mr. Darcy... ugh!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So now I'm being slut-shamed by misogynists and told I'm fake, great.

I was you at 23. Yes, a guy wants someone who can be fun. They also want someone they can bring to a work function and not risk them being an out of control embarrassment.

Thankfully I realized this, toned it down, and met DH at 24. I'm 28 now and still enjoy life, but DH is also proud to have me by his side at his black tie events.

Yeah but the point is you shouldn't have had to "change" to get wifed up and neither should I. Why can't your DH accept you for who you are? : /

They're not accepting you for who you are because who you are isn't someone they want to be in a relationship with. You can be whoever you want, but that doesn't mean people are obligated to like you for it -- they're perfectly free to say no thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So now I'm being slut-shamed by misogynists and told I'm fake, great.

I was you at 23. Yes, a guy wants someone who can be fun. They also want someone they can bring to a work function and not risk them being an out of control embarrassment.

Thankfully I realized this, toned it down, and met DH at 24. I'm 28 now and still enjoy life, but DH is also proud to have me by his side at his black tie events.

Yeah but the point is you shouldn't have had to "change" to get wifed up and neither should I. Why can't your DH accept you for who you are? : /

They're not accepting you for who you are because who you are isn't someone they want to be in a relationship with. You can be whoever you want, but that doesn't mean people are obligated to like you for it -- they're perfectly free to say no thanks.

+1

[Anonymous]

Yes, there is a double standard and will be for the foreseeable future. So clean up your act. A year is all you need, probably.
Examine how you dress, talk and gesture. Less is more. No oversharing, no excess behavior at work parties, less flash, more quality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So now I'm being slut-shamed by misogynists and told I'm fake, great.

I was you at 23. Yes, a guy wants someone who can be fun. They also want someone they can bring to a work function and not risk them being an out of control embarrassment.

Thankfully I realized this, toned it down, and met DH at 24. I'm 28 now and still enjoy life, but DH is also proud to have me by his side at his black tie events.

Yeah but the point is you shouldn't have had to "change" to get wifed up and neither should I. Why can't your DH accept you for who you are? : /

You're right, you shouldn't have to. And I'm sure you can attract a guy, just not the ones you want. You are making yourself sound like a victim when you aren't. I change not because I wanted to get a professional boyfriend. I changed because at a certain point, the party girl behavior you are describing is no longer appropriate. I still have a good time. DH has seen me drunk. DH has seen me so drunk I couldn't see straight. But that's rare and he knows I can control myself and am not a rager who needs attention from other guys.

But keep playing the "woe is me" victim card.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So now I'm being slut-shamed by misogynists and told I'm fake, great.

I was you at 23. Yes, a guy wants someone who can be fun. They also want someone they can bring to a work function and not risk them being an out of control embarrassment.

Thankfully I realized this, toned it down, and met DH at 24. I'm 28 now and still enjoy life, but DH is also proud to have me by his side at his black tie events.

Yeah but the point is you shouldn't have had to "change" to get wifed up and neither should I. Why can't your DH accept you for who you are? : /

They're not accepting you for who you are because who you are isn't someone they want to be in a relationship with. You can be whoever you want, but that doesn't mean people are obligated to like you for it -- they're perfectly free to say no thanks.

+1

[Anonymous]

Equal pay , lol

[Anonymous]

The OP gives me unwelcome memories of working in Florida years ago.

Miami party girls. shudder.

[Anonymous]

Lindsey Lohan looks 50 , watch out you will age yourself out of fertility and marriage

[Anonymous]

You should party with fun, exciting, good looking dudes for the next 2 or 3 years. Then, when you hit 30 - before your looks start to go, you should find a stable, reasonably successful guy to settle down with, even if you wouldn't have bothered hooking up with him in your 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should party with fun, exciting, good looking dudes for the next 2 or 3 years. Then, when you hit 30 - before your looks start to go, you should find a stable, reasonably successful guy to settle down with, even if you wouldn't have bothered hooking up with him in your 20s.

And why should he want to settle with her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You should party with fun, exciting, good looking dudes for the next 2 or 3 years. Then, when you hit 30 - before your looks start to go, you should find a stable, reasonably successful guy to settle down with, even if you wouldn't have bothered hooking up with him in your 20s.

And why should he want to settle with her?

\

Because party girls are entitled to all the guys, all the time. Or at least, that's the way they see it.

[Anonymous]

The advice isn't misogynist. It's fine to have fun but it's unprofessional to do it with colleagues, at least when it comes to getting very drunk and hooking up. You should separate your work life and party life. As far as meeting a guy, if you're drunk and partying all of the time and they don't have an opportunity to spend time with you outside of that context, then they're not going to pursue a relationship with you. And if every single guy in your circle perceives you this way due to your behavior, then you have to think about what you're putting out there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The advice isn't misogynist. It's fine to have fun but it's unprofessional to do it with colleagues, at least when it comes to getting very drunk and hooking up. You should separate your work life and party life. As far as meeting a guy, if you're drunk and partying all of the time and they don't have an opportunity to spend time with you outside of that context, then they're not going to pursue a relationship with you. And if every single guy in your circle perceives you this way due to your behavior, then you have to think about what you're putting out there.

And I don't mean "putting out" in the sexual sense.

[Anonymous]

if she talks like a slut, looks like a slut, and walks like a slut, then she a duck.