Hiring Tutor(s)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

It really depends on the child. My children are in HS and do not do sports and are not overloaded with extracurriculars- so having a tutor isn't a time crunch problem for them. Sports and marching band (in HS) are the two biggest time sinks and they do neither.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?

Extracurriculars are extra. If they get in the way of a student learning what he or she needs to learn, then they need to be curtailed. There are plenty of other after school options that do not require tons of time.

[Anonymous]

Agree with PP. extracurriculars are "extra."

Kids can get tutored and still have outside interests, but learning comes first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?

I have no idea. I will get back to you when that happens. My dd's are in 1st and 3rd, so I am worrying in order. I will worry about MS and HS later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi all,

DC is in middle school and has an IEP due to specific LDs and ADHD. One thing we continue to struggle with is whether to hire tutors to help with the specific LDs. It's the school system's responsibility to provide special education services and we feel, in part, that hiring tutors is letting them off the hook. The other thing we struggle with is the time factor - we both work (but have flexibility in our schedules) but wonder how DC is supposed to fit in enough tutoring to make a difference, plus do homework, plus have down time/time to pursue activities in which DC has pretty significant talents and enjoys.

DC did have a tutor for one subject in elementary school (taught by a special ed teacher) but it really did not seem to make a difference. Despite doing our share of research etc., we feel that we've spent money on stuff that has made very little difference.

Thoughts from those who've "been there, done that"?

Ds also just started middle school, ADHD/Inattentive with specific LDs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?

I have no idea. I will get back to you when that happens. My dd's are in 1st and 3rd, so I am worrying in order. I will worry about MS and HS later.

OP's child is in MS. She is worried about it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?

I have no idea. I will get back to you when that happens. My dd's are in 1st and 3rd, so I am worrying in order. I will worry about MS and HS later.

Thanks. Get back to us when our kids are in HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?

I have no idea. I will get back to you when that happens. My dd's are in 1st and 3rd, so I am worrying in order. I will worry about MS and HS later.

Thanks. Get back to us when our kids are in HS.

I am one of the PPs and my children are in HS. I will reiterate, extracurriculars are extra. If they are getting in the way of learning, they need to be pared down. There are many things to do outside of school that do not take as much time.

[Anonymous]

I am a DC teacher. I am a tutor for a few kids. All of them have IEPs. Yes, it's the schools job to provide academic content for your child. However, nothing can match one on one intensive tutoring. I am in touch with the teachers for each of my clients. I follow the school curriculum when I prepare lessons.
Tutoring is not about letting the school off the hook. It is about proving more academic support and strategies.

[Anonymous]

I think you also need to think about whether you are hiring a tutor to get homework done / help with studying -- OR -- provide remediation. They are not the same and a tutor who is good at one may not be good at the other. I have done both for different kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs. I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective. The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom. Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars. Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school. I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible. And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come. When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports). So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need. They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs. It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either. Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days. Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made. I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away. It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families. This is just my experience. Others may feel differently. I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout.

I'm sorry for your experience. I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring. Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention. I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two. The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard. One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over. I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me. What, dd loves to read? Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us. We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.

Your child is in ES and not MS. So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.

Well there could be, and there were last year. That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework. So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?

Extracurriculars are extra. If they get in the way of a student learning what he or she needs to learn, then they need to be curtailed. There are plenty of other after school options that do not require tons of time.

OP here. Extracurriculars are not "extra" in some respects. There's a strong school of thought out there that says that kids with LDs or ADHD SHOULD have an outside activity/interest that gives them self-esteem/plays to their strengths/builds drive and self-confidence. DC has pursued two activities, one of which can be time-consuming, that does all of these things. We don't minimize academics at all but we also see the danger of turning DC's life into school+tutors+homework with no chance to pursue passions or just be a kid and do nothing. When teachers hear about DC's "extras," it's eye-opening for them too and has given them a different perspective on DC, who struggles quite a bit in school. I appreciate all the replies that have come in on this. DC has LD's in reading, writing, and math, along with the accompanying executive function challenges. We've been considering tutoring but are not sure where to start - the most serious LD? The exec function piece? It doesn't seem possible to get tutors for each and every one of those areas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Extracurriculars are extra. If they get in the way of a student learning what he or she needs to learn, then they need to be curtailed. There are plenty of other after school options that do not require tons of time.

OP here. Extracurriculars are not "extra" in some respects. There's a strong school of thought out there that says that kids with LDs or ADHD SHOULD have an outside activity/interest that gives them self-esteem/plays to their strengths/builds drive and self-confidence. DC has pursued two activities, one of which can be time-consuming, that does all of these things. We don't minimize academics at all but we also see the danger of turning DC's life into school+tutors+homework with no chance to pursue passions or just be a kid and do nothing. When teachers hear about DC's "extras," it's eye-opening for them too and has given them a different perspective on DC, who struggles quite a bit in school. I appreciate all the replies that have come in on this. DC has LD's in reading, writing, and math, along with the accompanying executive function challenges. We've been considering tutoring but are not sure where to start - the most serious LD? The exec function piece? It doesn't seem possible to get tutors for each and every one of those areas.

First of all, I did not say eliminate all extra curricula, I said IF the extra curricula were interfering with learning they needed to be curtailed. I agree that all children need outside activities, but something that takes 10+ hours a week when it is in season (like a school sport), is just too much for some children, others can handle it.

It is a give and take and a balancing act. I have two DCs in HS and both have different special needs. One has several profound LDs that affect his reading and writing as well as ADHD. He needs lots of downtime, so we pick activities that are not time sinks. He went to a reading tutor 2-3 times a week from 2nd grade through 7th grade. In 8th grade he took a reading class in school, but since he has been in HS we have switched from remediation to using technology. (Middle School was the transition for that.) We do not hire tutors for organization or help with homework- I do that at home with him when he needs it- so I guess I act as a tutor. We also reduced his workload at school. He will not take a foreign language in high school. We also had him take the Honor World History instead of AP World History, because the time required for reading was too great for the benefit of the class. He is a math & science kid, so his AP classes will be/are in in math and science. The main issue right now is his anxiety level and anything we can do to reduce that we investigate. It changes from year to year, so we look at everything every year to make sure he is challenged, happy and has enough downtime.

There is only so much time in the day and we, as the parents, need to guide our children so that they do not overextended themselves. It may mean dropping that activity that takes so much time, it may mean dropping a class. It may mean a mixture of both. I know some students who take 5 years to graduate so that they are not over extended. There are many paths, but we have to recognize that our children may not be able to handle a full academic load AND a sport or other high hour activity.