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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have two kids in middle school with mild to moderate special needs.  I have hired tutors over the years, 7 years off and on, and I have found tutors to be generally ineffective.  The reason I say that is because unless they are coordinating with the teachers, it is inconsistent and disconnected from what is being taught daily in the classroom.  Even when they are in communication with the teachers, I found that the frequency of the tutoring sessions (2-3 times a week) take away from precious down time or extracurriculars.  Both my kids enjoy sports and play through the school.  I have found that playing sports and having a tutor outside school especially as kids get older are incompatible.  And, after a while I noticed that my kids were beginning to find the tutoring punitive and would dread the times the tutor would come.  When we had the tutor come on a weekend day, it would often interfere with weekend activities (i.e., parties, outings with friends, weekend sports).  So, for the second year in a row, I have done without tutors and been in close communication with my kids teachers to make sure they are staying on top of their school work and getting the support they need.  They are in a private school that works with kids like them with mild to moderate special needs.  It hasn't been perfect but it also has not been as stressful either.  Somehow I found the tutors stressful because I would find myself trying to get the kids motivated to work with the tutor on tutor days.  Then, I hated the mandatory chit chat after sessions about what they were working on or having trouble with and progress made.  I also did not find that having a tutor made a difference academically and felt like I was throwing money away.  It is also a big money making racket in our region with a lot of high income two earner families.  This is just my experience.  Others may feel differently.  I would not rule out tutors in the future but right now I am experiencing tutor burnout. [/quote]

I'm sorry for your experience.  I posted above about the lab school tutor we use, and my dd actually likes tutoring.  Every now and then, she complains, but I think she likes the one on one attention.  I have the tutor work on reading and spelling mostly, and sometimes an assignment or two.  The funny thing is that dd will cooperate with the tutor and work hard.  One day as the tutor was leaving, she said, your dd sure loves to read, so we went a bit over.  I was in shock because I truly cannot get dd to read for me or with me.  What, dd loves to read?  Anyway, I think there are ups and downs to tutoring, but so far, it has been helpful for us.  We started the middle of first grade, and we are still tutoring in 3rd and even some over the summer.  [/quote]

Your child is in ES and not MS.  So, there are not a lot of outside activities that conflict with the tutoring.[/quote]

Well there could be, and there were last year.  That led to trouble getting dd to study and concentrate on her homework.  So this year, I moved almost all activities to the weekend instead and have tried to leave week nights free for homework, studying, tutor.  [/quote]

That's nice but what do you do in MS and HS when you can't move all activities to the weekend and real life gets in the way for your DD?[/quote]

Extracurriculars are [i]extra[/i].  If they get in the way of a student learning what he or she needs to learn, then they need to be curtailed.  There are plenty of other after school options that do not require tons of time. [/quote]

OP here.  Extracurriculars are not "extra" in some respects.  There's a strong school of thought out there that says that kids with LDs or ADHD SHOULD have an outside activity/interest that gives them self-esteem/plays to their strengths/builds drive and self-confidence.  DC has pursued two activities, one of which can be time-consuming, that does all of these things.  We don't minimize academics at all but we also see the danger of turning DC's life into school+tutors+homework with no chance to pursue passions or just be a kid and do nothing.  When teachers hear about DC's "extras," it's eye-opening for them too and has given them a different perspective on DC, who struggles quite a bit in school.  I appreciate all the replies that have come in on this.  DC has LD's in reading, writing, and math, along with the accompanying executive function challenges.  We've been considering tutoring but are not sure where to start - the most serious LD?  The exec function piece?  It doesn't seem possible to get tutors for each and every one of those areas.[/quote]

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