Preparing your kid for adulthood when they're not "college material"

[Anonymous]

FWIW. I have an LD family member who was unable to complete college. In some ways, he is more successful than his non-LD siblings because he learned perseverance and better social skills (to compensate) than his siblings. He may earn less than his sibs do, but he has a more stable career path and a more well-rounded social life.

Thru him I know about a number of other LD friends who never completed college. A few have become fire fighters or police officers. These jobs don't require college, although you do have to go thru boot camp and figure out a way to "memorize" some stuff and pass some written tests, which required them to work much harder at that aspect than their peers. I know one guy with serious LD's who was able to force the fire department (via the Americans with Disabilities Act) to provide reasonable accommodations for him during fire fighter boot camp. This included texts and reading materials available in more accessible formats, and probably extra time on tests.

The good thing about police/fire fighter jobs is that they are a stable career path with good pay. There's not a lot of reading and writing on the job. Reports on the job are minimal and often include filling in forms or using a report guide. They involve a lot of "practice it" type training, which is often easier to learn than learning from written, abstract texts. Also, the daily work is highly routinized. Most things have forms or processes that are written down and done the same way repeatedly. Surprising to me, because fires aren't exactly predictable, but it turns out that being able to perform well in an emergency depends largely on a kind of internalized process that one performs without really thinking about it. Often LD persons need different methods or more time to learn the routines, but once internalized, they can be highly effective.

Kids who are interested in fire fighting as a career can volunteer with a local fire department, I think beginning at age 16. Volunteering typically includes some training, which enables the student to assess whether they can learn on the job, even though they may have had trouble with learning at school. There are also classes/training to explore in community college or local colleges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

[Anonymous]

Not to derail this thread, but what if the DC also has emotional issues that would seem to preclude him from working? My nephew is prone to angry outbursts and has a general disrespect for authority, so keeping a job has been impossible. Any ideas for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread, but what if the DC also has emotional issues that would seem to preclude him from working? My nephew is prone to angry outbursts and has a general disrespect for authority, so keeping a job has been impossible. Any ideas for him?

My idea is being an independent contractor who works from home. My friend is a graphic designer who works from home. She submits work via email. Receives work via email or mail. Does chat or email with bosses and coworkers. Rarely has to do an in-person meeting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread, but what if the DC also has emotional issues that would seem to preclude him from working? My nephew is prone to angry outbursts and has a general disrespect for authority, so keeping a job has been impossible. Any ideas for him?

Sounds as if something physically demanding would temper the outbursts. I wish mine could work on a farm!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not to derail this thread, but what if the DC also has emotional issues that would seem to preclude him from working? My nephew is prone to angry outbursts and has a general disrespect for authority, so keeping a job has been impossible. Any ideas for him?

Sounds as if something physically demanding would temper the outbursts. I wish mine could work on a farm!

Check out Red Wiggler Farm, in upper MoCo -- https://redwiggler.org -- they have a jobs program for developmentally disabled persons. If that's not a good fit, maybe they can offer some advice or alternatives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD? Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job. Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better? The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist. Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD? Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job. Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better? The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist. Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.

I have thought of disclosing my disabilities, but have never done it. I don't really know what accommodations are available to me - I've never been treated for my LDs at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD? Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job. Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better? The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist. Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.

I have thought of disclosing my disabilities, but have never done it. I don't really know what accommodations are available to me - I've never been treated for my LDs at all.

In order to disclose and be protected under the ADA, I think you would have to have some documentation of your LDs. You said you had been diagnosed with a "slew of LDs" but never been "treated". Why is that? Who was the person who diagnosed you and why was not "treatment" offered. Treatment not known at the time? Parents not supportive? Can't afford? Have you ever had a neuropsych assessment or other kind of psycho-educational assessment? Even if you have never been "treated" for your LDs, if you knew what you were dealing with, maybe you could get "treatment" now. The Lab School used to have an evening program for adults which was well-regarded, and many tutors work with adults. Or maybe if your main "LD" is actually some kind of attention or executive function deficit, medication could help or an organizational coach.

I don't know how old you are, but it's hard -- 20 years ago not as much was known as today about how to support different kinds of LDs. And, there is so much more technology available today to help with things like memory and reading and writing, but typically, an LD adult or student really needs guidance about different techniques to use and different technologies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD? Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job. Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better? The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist. Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.

I have thought of disclosing my disabilities, but have never done it. I don't really know what accommodations are available to me - I've never been treated for my LDs at all.

In order to disclose and be protected under the ADA, I think you would have to have some documentation of your LDs. You said you had been diagnosed with a "slew of LDs" but never been "treated". Why is that? Who was the person who diagnosed you and why was not "treatment" offered. Treatment not known at the time? Parents not supportive? Can't afford? Have you ever had a neuropsych assessment or other kind of psycho-educational assessment? Even if you have never been "treated" for your LDs, if you knew what you were dealing with, maybe you could get "treatment" now. The Lab School used to have an evening program for adults which was well-regarded, and many tutors work with adults. Or maybe if your main "LD" is actually some kind of attention or executive function deficit, medication could help or an organizational coach.

I don't know how old you are, but it's hard -- 20 years ago not as much was known as today about how to support different kinds of LDs. And, there is so much more technology available today to help with things like memory and reading and writing, but typically, an LD adult or student really needs guidance about different techniques to use and different technologies.

My DH has a couple of learning disabilities that are fairly severe -- ADHD and auditory processing issues, plus anxiety. He got a neuropsych eval as an adult and began treatment, including meds. It was made a huge difference in his life, both personal and professional. I urge you to see if you can get some treatment -- it could really help. Things are a lot different now than they were when we were kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD? Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job. Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better? The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist. Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.

I have thought of disclosing my disabilities, but have never done it. I don't really know what accommodations are available to me - I've never been treated for my LDs at all.

In order to disclose and be protected under the ADA, I think you would have to have some documentation of your LDs. You said you had been diagnosed with a "slew of LDs" but never been "treated". Why is that? Who was the person who diagnosed you and why was not "treatment" offered. Treatment not known at the time? Parents not supportive? Can't afford? Have you ever had a neuropsych assessment or other kind of psycho-educational assessment? Even if you have never been "treated" for your LDs, if you knew what you were dealing with, maybe you could get "treatment" now. The Lab School used to have an evening program for adults which was well-regarded, and many tutors work with adults. Or maybe if your main "LD" is actually some kind of attention or executive function deficit, medication could help or an organizational coach.

I don't know how old you are, but it's hard -- 20 years ago not as much was known as today about how to support different kinds of LDs. And, there is so much more technology available today to help with things like memory and reading and writing, but typically, an LD adult or student really needs guidance about different techniques to use and different technologies.

My DH has a couple of learning disabilities that are fairly severe -- ADHD and auditory processing issues, plus anxiety. He got a neuropsych eval as an adult and began treatment, including meds. It was made a huge difference in his life, both personal and professional. I urge you to see if you can get some treatment -- it could really help. Things are a lot different now than they were when we were kids.

This is my DS. He's 11, starting middle school on Monday - yikes!! ADHD/inattentive type with auditory processing and probably discalcula too. There are colleges out there for every kind of learner. It never has crossed my mind, nor will it -that DS is not college material. If by the time he's a junior and we come to the realization that college won't be "his thing" then we will cross that bridge at that time. Till then, he is gong to college just like his other siblings have and will.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD? Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job. Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better? The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist. Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.

I have thought of disclosing my disabilities, but have never done it. I don't really know what accommodations are available to me - I've never been treated for my LDs at all.

In order to disclose and be protected under the ADA, I think you would have to have some documentation of your LDs. You said you had been diagnosed with a "slew of LDs" but never been "treated". Why is that? Who was the person who diagnosed you and why was not "treatment" offered. Treatment not known at the time? Parents not supportive? Can't afford? Have you ever had a neuropsych assessment or other kind of psycho-educational assessment? Even if you have never been "treated" for your LDs, if you knew what you were dealing with, maybe you could get "treatment" now. The Lab School used to have an evening program for adults which was well-regarded, and many tutors work with adults. Or maybe if your main "LD" is actually some kind of attention or executive function deficit, medication could help or an organizational coach.

I don't know how old you are, but it's hard -- 20 years ago not as much was known as today about how to support different kinds of LDs. And, there is so much more technology available today to help with things like memory and reading and writing, but typically, an LD adult or student really needs guidance about different techniques to use and different technologies.

I'm 38 and was tested and diagnosed when I was 19. I don't know why I wasn't treated. But I do have the test results on paper from a psychologist from then.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution.

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently?

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you." They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!"

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD? Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job. Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better? The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist. Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.

I have thought of disclosing my disabilities, but have never done it. I don't really know what accommodations are available to me - I've never been treated for my LDs at all.

In order to disclose and be protected under the ADA, I think you would have to have some documentation of your LDs. You said you had been diagnosed with a "slew of LDs" but never been "treated". Why is that? Who was the person who diagnosed you and why was not "treatment" offered. Treatment not known at the time? Parents not supportive? Can't afford? Have you ever had a neuropsych assessment or other kind of psycho-educational assessment? Even if you have never been "treated" for your LDs, if you knew what you were dealing with, maybe you could get "treatment" now. The Lab School used to have an evening program for adults which was well-regarded, and many tutors work with adults. Or maybe if your main "LD" is actually some kind of attention or executive function deficit, medication could help or an organizational coach.

I don't know how old you are, but it's hard -- 20 years ago not as much was known as today about how to support different kinds of LDs. And, there is so much more technology available today to help with things like memory and reading and writing, but typically, an LD adult or student really needs guidance about different techniques to use and different technologies.

My DH has a couple of learning disabilities that are fairly severe -- ADHD and auditory processing issues, plus anxiety. He got a neuropsych eval as an adult and began treatment, including meds. It was made a huge difference in his life, both personal and professional. I urge you to see if you can get some treatment -- it could really help. Things are a lot different now than they were when we were kids.

This is my DS. He's 11, starting middle school on Monday - yikes!! ADHD/inattentive type with auditory processing and probably discalcula too. There are colleges out there for every kind of learner. It never has crossed my mind, nor will it -that DS is not college material. If by the time he's a junior and we come to the realization that college won't be "his thing" then we will cross that bridge at that time. Till then, he is gong to college just like his other siblings have and will.

PP here. Good luck to your DS! My DH has dysgraphia too -- forgot to mention that one. DH did get a degree in electrical engineering from UMD but it took him 8 years and a stint in community college first. If he'd had treatment, I think he could have done it in the regular timeframe.

[Anonymous]

Just dropped off my freshman in college DS with inattentive ADHD, dysgraphia, major executive dysfunction (sounds like the PP above with frequent job firings). We are concerned how he will do, but he got in, and we want him to try his best and hopefully find himself. He is also on an anti-depressant, so we worry about him remembering to take it, along with many other worries. I am going to try not to micro manage him, but will have to check in daily for a while, I am sure.

[Anonymous]

The situation we face is that my son is probably sort of on the border line of being college material. He is in 9th grade so the coming years will tell if he will go to college. It is hard - don't know whether to encourage him to think in terms of college or not.

Assuming you are the OP, I think that you are right to keep a wide view and not be totally fixated on a 4-year college as the only possible option for your son. The first and most important hurdle is that he transitions well to high school, keeps a positive view of himself as a learner, finds some peers he enjoys being with in and out of school and participates in a couple of activities in school or out of school which can "reduce the school stressors" if he has a lot.

I would also suggest if you can give him varied exposure to different career paths in high school through summer volunteer work, possible summer job when older, possible non-credit course as in computers in summer or or even exploring at a local vocational school if there are options as in-school elective classes. Another idea would be to support him if he wants to try to set up a "teen business" such as house/pet sitting, child care (boys), yard work etc.

In his case by sophomore year, if school seems to be a real grind for him, then it might be wise to get some outside evaluation of his interests, skills and abilities and to see how the final two years of high school might at least in part be shaped towards that data, too. Also as suggested exploring the options available at the local community college is a very wise step for many teens today, especially those who do not know what they want to be doing or those with disabilities. It is a good platform to transition to college on and then build on an many have automatic transfer agreements now with top state schools. Also, getting the Associate Degree in hand is often a very positive first step for a struggling learner.

Good luck.