Reply to Preparing your kid for adulthood when they're not "college material"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wasn't "college material." My parents pushed me towards learning a job that would allow me to support myself. I didn't move out until I was 23. I've been fired from a lot of jobs. Being a person is really, really hard. There's really just no good solution. [/quote]

Can you explain what your diagnosis is and why you were fired from jobs? What do you wish that your parents have done differently? [/quote]

My diagnosis is a slew of severe learning disabilities. I've been fired from jobs because I have a hard time catching on - sometimes to things I've been specifically told to do and sometimes to things I was supposed to pick up without being told but didn't. So when my boss said (admin asst) to highlight who is getting the cc of the letter and I forget that, he gets pissed. If he gets pissed too many times, I get fired. And there are like a thousand little details like that for me to remember. Or he'll teach me how to do something in Excel and I won't be able to remember it for the future. You might say "why not just write it down?" but there are like 40 things to write down in a ten minute period - there's no time for that. Or he'll tell me how to do something in Excel and half do it for me and I won't truly understand what he told me to do so I can't write it down even if there IS time.

I have no idea what to say I wish my parents did differently - other than give me a couple million dollars to support myself without a job. I could spend a little of it to buy a condo and invest the rest and live off the interest. Emotionally, it would help if when I've sneaked out of work to call them hysterically crying they didn't just say "Well, I don't know what to tell you."  They always imply that all I need to do is just TRY harder. It's like they're saying "just try harder to fly off the roof!" and aren't hearing me when I say "but I don't have wings - i'm going to crash every SINGLE time!" [/quote]

have you ever thought of disclosing your LD?  Under the ADA, you should be able to get "reasonable accommodations" to do your job.  Maybe if your bosses understood that it's actually better for them to email you a checklist for an assignment, rather than giving it to your orally, you could do better?  The former would be considered quite rude in the ordinary office environment, but the latter might work better for you. As a boss, I wouldn't really care whether I had to orally brief you or give you a written checklist.  Or you could use a Livescribe pen at work when someone is giving you assignments and be able to listen to the directions as you work or before you finalize the job.  [/quote]

I have thought of disclosing my disabilities, but have never done it. I don't really know what accommodations are available to me - I've never been treated for my LDs at all. [/quote]

In order to disclose and be protected under the ADA, I think you would have to have some documentation of your LDs.  You said you had been diagnosed with a "slew of LDs" but never been "treated".  Why is that?  Who was the person who diagnosed you and why was not "treatment" offered.  Treatment not known at the time?  Parents not supportive?  Can't afford?  Have you ever had a neuropsych assessment or other kind of psycho-educational assessment?  Even if you have never been "treated" for your LDs, if you knew what you were dealing with, maybe you could get "treatment" now.  The Lab School used to have an evening program for adults which was well-regarded, and many tutors work with adults.  Or maybe if your main "LD" is actually some kind of attention or executive function deficit, medication could help or an organizational coach.

I don't know how old you are, but it's hard -- 20 years ago not as much was known as today about how to support different kinds of LDs.  And, there is so much more technology available today to help with things like memory and reading and writing, but typically, an LD adult or student really needs guidance about different techniques to use and different technologies.  
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