I don't understand if I am being too needy or if he is being emotionally unavailable

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don't see why he couldn't call you once a day. I don't think you're being needy.

150% agreed!!

While I think once a day is a bit much, a call or two during the week seems a bit more appropriate than just a heart text. He's not with his dd and family 24/7. At some point he must have 5 minutes to himself where he could call just to say hi.

A call with Op isn't going to be 5 minutes. She is lonely and upset he isn't calling and thinking he is emotionally unavailable because of it. The phone call will be a long one.

And there will be a lot of yelling.

And crying. Have to ramp up the guilt factor.

Perhaps. And, if this is the case then there will only be one call and she will be single again when he returns.

If men broke up with every woman who yelled at them or cried to make them feel guilty....there would be about 1% of women left to date. Men put up with that because they don't really have a choice. Finding a woman who is emotionally stable and strong is very difficult.

[Anonymous]

Which is why they usually marry them once they find them.

Not all women play stupid games.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't see why he couldn't call you once a day. I don't think you're being needy.

They're not married. They've dating for a whole six months.

[Anonymous]

I make my DH read these kinds of threads. It makes him appreciate me more. I think OP is good to get a text message every day. I don't understand the need for more. You know where he is, you know who he's with and it's not as if he's doing something thrilling and exciting. Your relationship should not be weakened, damaged or questioned just because you don't have a daily voice communication. Develop some strength and confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see why he couldn't call you once a day. I don't think you're being needy.

They're not married. They've dating for a whole six months.

When my now dh and I were dating, we would have wanted to talk to each other that often, but I was living in another country and couldn't afford calling cards. Of course a call is not required, but with technology the way it is now, a "heart" text here and there with no "how are you doing?" --I find that distant and strange if you truly like or love each other.

[Anonymous]

I see PPs points but at the same time, back when DH and I were dating he did call me each day for a short chat while he was on vacation - it was just a natural thing. But that was before texting so maybe it's not comparable. I think if I felt secure in the relationship then a text a day would be fine - I wouldn't need a conversation. Perhaps you aren't feeling confident in his feelings for you?

[Anonymous]

Being with blood family is taxing and requires attention. Many men are NOT mulititaskers. If you give him space , he will miss you. If you clutter his mind and over tax his emotions unnecessarily he will be reluctant even to text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Definitely needy.

This, and the fact that you got married at 15, leads me to suggest that you would benefit from therapy. You need to experience life as an independent adult.

Ain't Utah grand!?!

[Anonymous]

OP dating with kids is complicated. I don't know how old his daughter is. But if she's old enough to have a clue that he's dating, she will likely be sensitive to whether he's fully engaged with her on vacation or pining over you. What kid wants to feel she's playing second fiddle to a new girlfriend?

When kids are involved, it's best to take a romantic relationship very slowly. I am a step mom, and honestly, I hope he's fully engaged with his kid on vacation. You may WANT him, but she NEEDS him. Trust me, you don't want anything to do with a man who's not a great dad to his kids. And you will have to be independent enough to understand you will take the back seat to his child in many ways. But that's ok. You are an adult. She's not. You are independent. She's not. That doesn't mean you don't have a solid relationship with this guy that may lead to more. It may very well. But it will likely take longer than kid-free romantic relationships, and will likely require more separations like what you are going through now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I see PPs points but at the same time, back when DH and I were dating he did call me each day for a short chat while he was on vacation - it was just a natural thing. But that was before texting so maybe it's not comparable. I think if I felt secure in the relationship then a text a day would be fine - I wouldn't need a conversation. Perhaps you aren't feeling confident in his feelings for you?

If you've been dating for a date, fine. But this seems a beet needy six months in, especially knowing that he's dealing with family.

[Anonymous]

I just returned from a week away from my husband visiting my family with our daughter. I love my husband very much, but there were days when I just sent a quick text. We were busy and there just wasn't always time for a phone call at a time that was convenient for both of us. We are both very secure so this worked for us. In my opinion, you are being a little needy and need to find something to occupy your time/mind while he is gone. Believe me, you're relationship will be better off if you're not spending every waking moment obsessing/pining/whatever.

[Anonymous]

2 hearts a day is a lot.

1 call during the week and a text so you know his ETA for coming home should be sufficient. So I vote Needy. But.... you have to grow up. You need to express your needs, he can not read your mind.

You should say... I would really like a phone call while you are on vacation. If that is what you want... if you say you want 1 call everyday... you would sound needy, does he call you every day when he is home?

Do you have friends, do you work out, have a hobby... why are you so lonely?

[Anonymous]

I agree with Stepmom's advice, though I do think that texting just a heart is a bit odd when he could just as easily text "miss you!" or "thinking of you!" or "good morning/night." Maybe that's just his way.

[Anonymous]

In order to fully engage (and enjoy) with his relatives, he wants a bit of vacation from his current life. It's not about you - it's not negative. I am like this. In my day-to-day life I'm very focused on my husband. When I visit my (elderly) parents, I want to focus on them.

[Anonymous]

Single mom, here. No. Not normal. Dump her. A grown up who can't entertain him or herself for a week has serious issues. If she's lonely, it's her job to fix that (appropriately) - go out with friends or family or catch up on work or binge-watch tv. Calling her every day? Seriously? Maybe once mid- vacation would be nice, but not at all is perfectly reasonable too.