Please help me not to lose my @#$% here

[Anonymous]

OP here: if that were my parents, they would've kept him busy to the point when he would forget what is an iPad! My father had stage IV cancer and yet every day he would go for walks with his other grand kids. My mother has severe diabetes. Every time she visits she doesn't sit and mop around, she scoops him up to the nearest playground or museum. Now ILs are physically and mentally healthy people. FIL is an expert fisherman. Why not take your grandson fishing? Just once. Why is he sitting in the house, in this gorgeous weather, with a ^&*^%$ iPad? Get him a book from his backpack, we packed about a dozen good books. Let him ride a bike nearby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: if that were my parents, they would've kept him busy to the point when he would forget what is an iPad! My father had stage IV cancer and yet every day he would go for walks with his other grand kids. My mother has severe diabetes. Every time she visits she doesn't sit and mop around, she scoops him up to the nearest playground or museum. Now ILs are physically and mentally healthy people. FIL is an expert fisherman. Why not take your grandson fishing? Just once. Why is he sitting in the house, in this gorgeous weather, with a ^&*^%$ iPad? Get him a book from his backpack, we packed about a dozen good books. Let him ride a bike nearby.

Hey, OP. I agree that sucks. DH should take all the slack. Don't answer phone calls from your inlaws and if they mention it at your next visit, DH is the one who needs to respond. The matter isn't up for discussion, and obviously DS isn't allowed to go to inlaws without you unless he wants to in the future. I'm guessing he won't for a good long while.

But you should focus at this point on getting DS things to do. I agree with a PP -- call your old camp and figure out if there is any way to squeeze him back in. If not, surf the internet (or ask for suggestions on this board) and call other camps and activities. Hire someone to drive him if you need to (maybe a teen in the neighbor). My ugess is that you have the bandwidth for this since you are on bedrest right now.

[Anonymous]

The problem here is that you and DH allowed them to "insist." DS is YOUR child. YOU TWO are the ones who get to insist about how his life works. Not his grandparents.

If I were in your position I would stop talking with them for a while and tell my DH in no uncertain terms that if I EVER lose my mind again and ALLOW someone else to insist on something related to our child, he is to INSIST more strongly that I take control back. You and DH need to present a united front to your in-laws and refuse their "ungrateful" Heap 'O Guilt they're trying to shovel on you. Do not accept this stress, even if they "insist" - you are medically fragile and don't need that shit now.

[Anonymous]

OP, how long did they lie to you about where he was?

It's not a big deal that he spent a week doing nothing, but it is a big f'ing deal that they lied to you. Now you can't trust them to be honest when they care for him. I would be afraid that if he gets hurt they will hide it from you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: A 6 year old should not be cooped up in the house all day long with two retired, but more than able grandparents! Why not go to a museum, a park, even a local bookstore?

We are in Germantown, if that helps.

Well then you and your husband are idiots for allowing this. He wasn't kidnapped. I find it hard to believe that this is the first time they have done anything like that.

Call around. Have your DH take time off. You screwed it up. You fix it.

This is really harsh. People should make agreements assuming the other person will actually do what they say. The ILs said they would take the kid to camp. Then they said they would put him in a better camp. They did neither. I don't agree that OP "screwed it up."

[Anonymous]

OP here: for four days they told us how many playgrounds they visited! Then DS spilled that he's actually been at home all this time. That his bike is still hooked up to his grandpa's car! They started making excuses how they had things to do the around the house and they didn't feel comfortable to have DS walk across the street to the nearby playground all by himself.

I called my sister. She lives in Virginia and can take him for the holiday weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: for four days they told us how many playgrounds they visited! Then DS spilled that he's actually been at home all this time. That his bike is still hooked up to his grandpa's car! They started making excuses how they had things to do the around the house and they didn't feel comfortable to have DS walk across the street to the nearby playground all by himself.

I called my sister. She lives in Virginia and can take him for the holiday weekend.

What are you going to do for the rest of the summer?

[Anonymous]

We get it. You were going to do camp, your in-laws volunteered, you thought you could save several thousand dollars, so you went along.

But if you want to have complete control over what your kid is and isn't doing, you either pay to send them to camp where you know what's on the schedule, or you have them at home.

This "they forced me" baloney is pretty sad. So you tried it and it didn't work out. I'm 100% positive ALL the camps in your area are not full. Stop blaming your in-laws and be proactive and call some freaking camps. God, you're on bedrest, you have the time to do so!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: for four days they told us how many playgrounds they visited! Then DS spilled that he's actually been at home all this time. That his bike is still hooked up to his grandpa's car! They started making excuses how they had things to do the around the house and they didn't feel comfortable to have DS walk across the street to the nearby playground all by himself.

I called my sister. She lives in Virginia and can take him for the holiday weekend.

OMG, they really went to great lengths to lie to you! And they tried to get your 6 YO on board with the lies! Wow. This is incredible. I would be beyond irate and furious. It's just mind-boggling that they would LIE about it.

But, at least you now know that they are CRAZEEEE and not to be trusted with your kids. Good to know now, when nothing too terrible has happened, rather than later, when who knows what could occur.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: for four days they told us how many playgrounds they visited! Then DS spilled that he's actually been at home all this time. That his bike is still hooked up to his grandpa's car! They started making excuses how they had things to do the around the house and they didn't feel comfortable to have DS walk across the street to the nearby playground all by himself.

I called my sister. She lives in Virginia and can take him for the holiday weekend.

What are you going to do for the rest of the summer?

Found several soccer camps he can do in July. My mother can take him for 2 weeks in August.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: for four days they told us how many playgrounds they visited! Then DS spilled that he's actually been at home all this time. That his bike is still hooked up to his grandpa's car! They started making excuses how they had things to do the around the house and they didn't feel comfortable to have DS walk across the street to the nearby playground all by himself.

I called my sister. She lives in Virginia and can take him for the holiday weekend.

OMG, they really went to great lengths to lie to you! And they tried to get your 6 YO on board with the lies! Wow. This is incredible. I would be beyond irate and furious. It's just mind-boggling that they would LIE about it.

But, at least you now know that they are CRAZEEEE and not to be trusted with your kids. Good to know now, when nothing too terrible has happened, rather than later, when who knows what could occur.

Holy moses yes. DH needs to have some STRONG WORDS with his parent.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't know why some folks are jumping on you, but I'd be &*($& pissed, too. It's not that boredom is the worst thing ever; it's the dishonesty. And it's inexplicable - why would you "insist" on pulling a kid out of camp to then keep him cooped up inside? It's really bizarre behavior.

Seriously, you've got to nip this "insisting" in the bud. No more. Ever. You are the mom. No one gets to overrule you except the dad, and even then only collaboratively.

Your son will be fine this summer. I never went to camp any summer for my whole life; I was a latchkey kid and read lots of books and watched lots of TV. I'm fine. It's your relationship with IL that needs fixing.

[Anonymous]

OP here: I understand that there is an occasional need to fix a house, a car, there are emergency situations. We would've found another alternative for DS if only ILs were honest with us. My sister could've taken him for the whole period. He could've stayed at camp with his school friends. Instead, we were lied to for several days and now they are offended and call us ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

Why can't your husband take care of him for the holiday weekend? I get you are on bedrest, but won't your husband be around to take care of him and take him to the pool, etc?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I understand that there is an occasional need to fix a house, a car, there are emergency situations. We would've found another alternative for DS if only ILs were honest with us. My sister could've taken him for the whole period. He could've stayed at camp with his school friends. Instead, we were lied to for several days and now they are offended and call us ungrateful.

You are in the right. They are way in the wrong.

What is your DH saying about this kind of behavior?