Women: Did you ask your significant other to be your boyfriend?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sure, why not??! After all, it is 2014...I say go for it!!

If I were you and I felt the way you feel about someone, I would take the bull by the horns and initiate "the talk."

I would tell the guy how much I liked him and that I really wanted him to be my man. Exclusively.

I think men love this in a woman. It shows confidence and it definitely is flattering to say the least.

Please PLEASE come back on here and tell us what happened.

Keeping my fingers crossed things work in your favor OP!!

Unfortunately he doesn't feel as strongly as I do. He thinks I'm a great friend.

Have you been physical with him or were you just buddies?

[Anonymous]

We had a physical relationship. It started a month and half into us dating.

[Anonymous]

Op- how did the two of you meet? Did he ask you out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op- how did the two of you meet? Did he ask you out?

We met online and yes, he did ask me out. But I initiated conversation first.

[Anonymous]

How many months total have you two been seeing each other?

[Anonymous]

Oops, sorry. Just reread your initial post - you started dating in December. So around 5 months.

[Anonymous]

I don't know. You've been dating 5 months and you've been in a physical relationship for 3 or so months...

I think that if you enjoy his company and can accept that he isn't looking at the long haul with you, than you can continue to go out with him but realize that it's not exclusive (so see other people, too). If things get more serious between the two of you, you can then revisit being exclusive. Or you can just cut your losses, stop seeing him and keep on looking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. You've been dating 5 months and you've been in a physical relationship for 3 or so months...

I think that if you enjoy his company and can accept that he isn't looking at the long haul with you, than you can continue to go out with him but realize that it's not exclusive (so see other people, too). If things get more serious between the two of you, you can then revisit being exclusive. Or you can just cut your losses, stop seeing him and keep on looking.

well being rejected sucks as we know, but after a constant pattern of this, I'm not sure whether or not I want to stay friends. It hurts to see someone that I really like and care for enter into a relationship with someone else

[Anonymous]

He's dating around, thinks of you as a good friend and obviously enjoys sleeping with you enough to see you repeatedly. BUT is that enough for you? How did he react when you brought this up and you had the friend talk? How did you leave things?

I'm one of the PPs and this is what I expected when I said, unless you have discussed it, assume he's dating others (and yes, sleeping with them too). So first and foremost -- please use protection and even that can't protect you from everything. Second, if he is still interested in maintaining the current status, get yourself back online and you keep dating around too. Eventually, one of you will find someone who wants to be with you exclusively (assuming that's what you want).

If you can't handle that, or don't want to, I agree to cut losses and move on. When confronted with this situation, I did not enjoy the idea of the guy making dinner for someone else, cuddling on the couch and having sex with her. I'm not good at sharing, and I wanted an exclusive relationship. We cut ties, he came back a month or so later, apologetic about not being up front with me. I thik we may have gone out one more time...but he was a lot less attractive when I thought of him as two timing me. I just figured the other woman didn't work out or she was busy. That's not a fun way to think of things. So I moved on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't know. You've been dating 5 months and you've been in a physical relationship for 3 or so months...

I think that if you enjoy his company and can accept that he isn't looking at the long haul with you, than you can continue to go out with him but realize that it's not exclusive (so see other people, too). If things get more serious between the two of you, you can then revisit being exclusive. Or you can just cut your losses, stop seeing him and keep on looking.

well being rejected sucks as we know, but after a constant pattern of this, I'm not sure whether or not I want to stay friends. It hurts to see someone that I really like and care for enter into a relationship with someone else

These things tend to fizzle out pretty quickly once you realize that the relationship isn't going anywhere and could end abruptly - as soon as you or he finds a more suitable love interest. You might be able to keep him around for a while just to enjoy his company. But if it isn't enjoyable to you, you might be better off just ending it now. There are plenty of other fish in the sea...

[Anonymous]

I'm just going to move on. I feel that if he's not that into me now. He never will be.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for letting us know. Probably for the best. Best of luck, Op.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He's dating around, thinks of you as a good friend and obviously enjoys sleeping with you enough to see you repeatedly. BUT is that enough for you? How did he react when you brought this up and you had the friend talk? How did you leave things?

I'm one of the PPs and this is what I expected when I said, unless you have discussed it, assume he's dating others (and yes, sleeping with them too). So first and foremost -- please use protection and even that can't protect you from everything. Second, if he is still interested in maintaining the current status, get yourself back online and you keep dating around too. Eventually, one of you will find someone who wants to be with you exclusively (assuming that's what you want).

If you can't handle that, or don't want to, I agree to cut losses and move on. When confronted with this situation, I did not enjoy the idea of the guy making dinner for someone else, cuddling on the couch and having sex with her. I'm not good at sharing, and I wanted an exclusive relationship. We cut ties, he came back a month or so later, apologetic about not being up front with me. I thik we may have gone out one more time...but he was a lot less attractive when I thought of him as two timing me. I just figured the other woman didn't work out or she was busy. That's not a fun way to think of things. So I moved on.

He told me that it was too soon to be in a relationship and he didn't have intense feelings for me yet. I told him that I enjoyed hanging out, but the more we did so, the more I fell for him. I let him know in the beginning that I only dated people who I could see myself in a serious relationship with. So he was always aware of what I want. He said that he wants something serious as well.

[Anonymous]

Also he said that he still wanted to hang out, but not have sex or do things like cook together, if that would help me not get too attached. So in other words, I'm just a good friend.

[Anonymous]

Are you sure that you're not rushing him a bit? That doesn't sound like he's relegated you to friend only status, just that he isn't ready to commit to one person, yet. That seems reasonable actually....maybe give him a little space/time to sort this all out in his own head?