Niece called me hysterical. Teen pregnancy, brother kicked her out

[Anonymous]

How far along is she?

[Anonymous]

Shes sitting in a coffee shop and she is far enough away from you that
She needs an airline ticket? You need to call cps.

[Anonymous]

Poor girl.

[Anonymous]

What does your brother and his wife have to say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What does your brother and his wife have to say?

+10000

You need to call your brother and find out if she has been kicked out or not.

If your brother says she's kicked out, then bring her to stay with you and you can work out a plan from there. You may not have a choice between her staying with you and her living on the street, though, if your brother won't take her back. I suppose you could put her into foster care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Would you consider an open adoption?

Would you please spend one nanosecond thinking about the young woman before you start grabbing at her fetus?

[Anonymous]

Maybe google the father stefan home in fairfax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your niece's parents are wretched people. No way would Jesus approve.

Why can't she live with you? Do you live in a one bedroom with a kid already? Does she do drugs and do you have an impressionable preteen or teenager?

If not, I think you should let her live with you.

Well, just off the very top of my head, because she's been wild for the last three or four years and I don't know what kind of influence she's going to be on our impressionable young kids, and equally because DH and I planned our family size. We did not plan to have two more people join our family when we planned how many children we'd have, when we planned that I would stay home, etc.

This might be the most depressing thing I've read in months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a little bit of the stereotype. Bro went off to college, found jesus, married a super religious woman and is raising two children with zero freedom. Of course the older one has been super wild. Of course she's now pregnant at 15, of course the boyfriend has disappeared, and apparently my SIL and brother have kicked her out.

I called DH at work and he said absolutely she can come stay here for a few days or a week while they all calm down. Niece wants to keep the baby and has asked if she can live with us. I told her we are not prepared to give an answer to that over the phone when she's just dropped such a huge bomb on me. She has been sitting in a coffee shop with her backpack all day. DH is organizing flying her here tonight so she has somewhere safe to sleep.

Obviously my hope is that everyone will calm down in a day or two and she will go home. But if they don't allow her, what do we do? Is there somewhere safe we can send her?

Many years ago a friend adopted her niece from Pacific NW under the same circumstance. It was a tough ride. The niece dropped out of FFCPS, could not keep a job.... But my friend stood by her. Now she is married, has her own children, and her mother amended their relationship. I admire my friend so much! She was not even married herself back then.

It is very kind of you and your husband to take her in when she has nowhere to go. It will be even harder with a baby in the picture. Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your niece's parents are wretched people. No way would Jesus approve.

Why can't she live with you? Do you live in a one bedroom with a kid already? Does she do drugs and do you have an impressionable preteen or teenager?

If not, I think you should let her live with you.

Well, just off the very top of my head, because she's been wild for the last three or four years and I don't know what kind of influence she's going to be on our impressionable young kids, and equally because DH and I planned our family size. We did not plan to have two more people join our family when we planned how many children we'd have, when we planned that I would stay home, etc.

This might be the most depressing thing I've read in months.

.
Actually, and I say this coming from the prospective of being a foster parent, I think it is wise for OP to consider carefully whether or not she is willing to take on the niece. The niece needs stability. If OP can provide that, that's fantastic. If OP can be a safe harbor while the situation calms down, that's fantastic. But OP shouldn't feel like she has to say yes-- knowing your limits is important.

[Anonymous]

Before trying to fly her out, post what city she is in. Plenty of people on this forum have lived in other cities. There may be a respite home for teens that might be available to her while your family decides what can be done.

[Anonymous]

How will she get on a flight as a minor without a driver's license or parental consent?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your niece's parents are wretched people. No way would Jesus approve.

Why can't she live with you? Do you live in a one bedroom with a kid already? Does she do drugs and do you have an impressionable preteen or teenager?

If not, I think you should let her live with you.

Well, just off the very top of my head, because she's been wild for the last three or four years and I don't know what kind of influence she's going to be on our impressionable young kids, and equally because DH and I planned our family size. We did not plan to have two more people join our family when we planned how many children we'd have, when we planned that I would stay home, etc.

This might be the most depressing thing I've read in months.

.
Actually, and I say this coming from the prospective of being a foster parent, I think it is wise for OP to consider carefully whether or not she is willing to take on the niece. The niece needs stability. If OP can provide that, that's fantastic. If OP can be a safe harbor while the situation calms down, that's fantastic. But OP shouldn't feel like she has to say yes-- knowing your limits is important.

Agreed. Especially if OP has kids of her own to worry about. I'm not sure I'd want to take on a "wild" teenager who may have emotional issues, even without the teen pregnancy. OP will wind up doing a lot of caretaking of that baby. The girl's parents need to fix this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
What does your brother and his wife have to say?

+10000

You need to call your brother and find out if she has been kicked out or not.

If your brother says she's kicked out, then bring her to stay with you and you can work out a plan from there. You may not have a choice between her staying with you and her living on the street, though, if your brother won't take her back. I suppose you could put her into foster care.

THIS.

I'm in Canada. Our son claimed to have been kicked out when he was 16 when in reality he ran away in a fit. After a few days (and more lies) my brother flew ds to another province to stay with him. We knew NOTHING until the plane had landed. We were actually trying to arrange some family counseling to try and get some discussion started, and see where to go from there.

Don't step in without speaking with your brother.

[Anonymous]

21:20 here. DS was telling everyone that we kicked him out and he would end up on the streets. The reality was we were trying to get him home but he was having nothing to do with it. There are rules at home, rules he didn't want to follow.