Advice me please, should i search room?

[Anonymous]

It's not "his room".

[Anonymous]

I have a 17 year old DD and I won't hesitate when it comes to searching her room. I don't care if I make her mad. I'm her mom, not her friend.

[Anonymous]

Search for illicit substances and paraphenelia, but please try to respect privacy otherwise--no reading letters, diairies, phones etc. Unless, of course you have reason to be very worried about serious drug use. Then skip all of this and move to twice a week drug tests.

[Anonymous]

OP - slightly off topic, but I located weed and vaporizer in my DC's room recently. I have it in a bag in my closet and I'm not sure of the best way dispose of it. Did you just throw it out in the garbage?

[Anonymous]

You folks who are basically saying that children do not deserve respect or privacy make me really sad. Of course it's his room. Just like it's his home. He deserves reasonable privacy. OP, it sounds like you don't actually have a reason to suspect that your son is using drugs still. Is this search just to reassure yourself that that's not happening? If so, that sounds like it's your issue, not his.

It's like you people do not remember what it was like to be a kid at all.

[Anonymous]

+1
MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:just send him to University of Colorado at Boulder. Beautiful campus and legal pot.

Don't! My pot head nephew is now heroine addict after attending there. Sad story. Perfect SAT math. This is serious. Read beautiful boy ASAP and yes search room. gL!

[Anonymous]

No expectation of privacy when established drug user living at home being supported by us. We have to help our kids by protecting them from themselves until frontal line developed- about 23!

[Anonymous]

Lobe not line!

[Anonymous]

To 20:11 you would not believe what I have thrown into random trash cans on the street and dumptsters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You folks who are basically saying that children do not deserve respect or privacy make me really sad. Of course it's his room. Just like it's his home. He deserves reasonable privacy. OP, it sounds like you don't actually have a reason to suspect that your son is using drugs still. Is this search just to reassure yourself that that's not happening? If so, that sounds like it's your issue, not his.

It's like you people do not remember what it was like to be a kid at all.

Yeah, I do remember. And I still say that searches are fair game.

[Anonymous]

Search. Pick your battles - if you find other things that aren't drugs or otherwise significant safety issues, ignore or move past, but absolutely search.

I routinely search DD's room. She has shown she can't be trusted. I can't afford to let her bad choices escalate.

Now, sometimes I will find things that are questionable or learn things I wish I didn't know- if it relates to that sort of thing, I generally leave it alone. I'm basically making sure she is drug free.

Also - you should be drug testing your son if you are not already. Make him pee with the bathroom door open. Kids are nuts and will do a lot to avoid getting caught.

[Anonymous]

22:44 here - DD doesn't know I search her room BTW - she would only know if I found something.

[Anonymous]

Search away and get his phone and read the texts. All unannounced.

My guess is that if you found something in his room before, he won't keep stuff there again, but teenagers don't think things through so maybe he will.

I found pot in my dd's room a few months ago and now regularly look around. Never found anything else and we made some big changes in her life, so I think we are good for now.

The house is yours, the cell phone is yours. My kid was texting all kinds of incriminating messages. Phone is in DH's name, texts could find their way back to him which would have catastrophic implications in his profession.

[Anonymous]

Please search! There can be no expectation of privacy. He can move out when he's 18 if he wants privacy. Thems the breaks, especially when you breaK the rules of the house and our laws.