Help a guy plan first dates

[Anonymous]

There has got to be something better than these boring coffee/wine dates. If you are going to do that than make sure it is a fun interesting place. I think Max Brenner's in Bethesda is a good first date place. There are lots of fun coffee/chocolate drinks. Or you could always split some kind of chocolate fondue - which would set you back maybe 15 total and it is a little bit more imaginative.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I should've listed the reasons I didn't think weekend nights were the best for a first date. It's not the money. I don't care about that. It's the following.

1) It's a first date. It should be a quick meet and greet to see if there is potential. Sat night nights have this connotation that's greater than what a first date should be. Sat night are for true, official, yeah we like each other, type dates.

2) Weekends are precious. While I don't mind spending a weekend night on a first date, I shouldn't assume that the woman wants to give up some other social thing she has planned just to go on a first date where you don't know the person at all.

3) Added pressure. Sat night dates mean you get to be nervous about it all day Sat. Week night dates are night because you can just knock them out and get the first date jitters out of the way. Then if there is a follow up date, you can make it for the Sat night and be more relaxed.

But based on the comments here, I think I will just go try for a Sat dinner date at a more relaxed place (no white tablecloths) and just see what happens. At the age of the women I am targeting (early 30s), chances are they might not have a lot of other social plans anyway so a Sat night date might be a welcome excuse to get out of the house.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if all you were offering was coffee on a weeknight, when I work, often late hours, I would turn you down. You'd seem to inflexible and I'd be concerned you'd have no time for me when I am available on the weekends. Thank goodness my husband is nothing like you when we were dating.

[Anonymous]

I agree with a weekday lunch - maybe a Friday...or quick drinks and snacks after work on Thursday.

[Anonymous]

When I was single I liked weekend lunch dates. I also wouldn't want to give up a sat night for someone I had never met. But I don't drink coffee and a coffee date seems like you already don't think you'll like her and don't want to spend more than a few bucks and 15 minutes. Often coffee shops are crowded and if you do hit it off, it's awkward to try to decide if you want to go someplace else or sit there talking while people are standing around waiting for seats. I'm not a huge fan of walking around dates. I wanted to get to know the other person and not try to pay attn to other stuff in the walk. Lunch on a Saturday can be casual and quick but at least you can sit face to face and chat without other stuff going on.

[Anonymous]

Find a museum exhibit that interests you and invite her. Take her to the butterflies at Natural History or the peacock room at the Freer. You have things to look at, you're moving around and there's a natural end that can be accelerated or delayed as the situation warrants.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: At the age of the women I am targeting (early 30s), chances are they might not have a lot of other social plans anyway so a Sat night date might be a welcome excuse to get out of the house.

Clearly the early thirties have become much tamer this decade! I don't recall spending many Saturday nights sitting at home in my early 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: At the age of the women I am targeting (early 30s), chances are they might not have a lot of other social plans anyway so a Sat night date might be a welcome excuse to get out of the house.

Clearly the early thirties have become much tamer this decade! I don't recall spending many Saturday nights sitting at home in my early 30s.

i'm a 30yo woman and while I don't hang out tip 4am regularly anymore, I usually have plans most weekend nights (like tonite) unless I would prefer to rest. I'm sure I'm not an anomaly and there are plenty of places that cater to our age group. Maybe OP is from a small town.

[Anonymous]

til*

[Anonymous]

Please be fun and interesting. DC improv, a comedy spot, is a great first date, as you get to laugh, chit chat and drink in a relaxed spot. You can do that one afternoon/night, and they last about one hour. Circus is also a pretty neat date idea. Adults have fun there too! Basketball game, only if you know she loves basketball, though that is a couple hours. I personally hate dinners for a first date. Maybe it's just me, but it seems so awkward to stuff my face and force conversation if I realize this guy is bland, boring or not what I expected. You need a distraction on a first date, hence my suggestions.

[Anonymous]

Weekday or weekend lunch dates. Those are your best option all things considered.

[Anonymous]

Lunch during a week day? Drinks at 6 but not dinner? All this sounds cheap to me, and I'm not even talking about money. Go out to a proper dinner, for goodness sakes.

[Anonymous]

I think that a short date in the afternoon (not evening!) is better for a first meet. Honestly, you really aren't talking about a first date -- these are first meets with someone you found online. Coffee works fine for me. Several times, I have been asked to coffee around 11am on a weekend. If things are going well, it is easy to extend into lunch. I also like afternoon coffee dates (2 or 3 pm). Then there is no expectation for a meal, but if things go well, you can hang out longer. I appreciate it when a guy suggests something other than coffee -- meeting at a gallery, a festival, etc.

[Anonymous]

as a woman who is meeting people on line right now, i think meeting for coffee or a drink is just fine. add food if you feel like talking more. lunch is fine too....anything low key where you can talk. i would save the interesting stuff for a bit later as you actually want to have time to talk the first time you meet....

no need to spend alot of money, wouldn't bother me...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should've listed the reasons I didn't think weekend nights were the best for a first date. It's not the money. I don't care about that. It's the following.

1) It's a first date. It should be a quick meet and greet to see if there is potential. Sat night nights have this connotation that's greater than what a first date should be. Sat night are for true, official, yeah we like each other, type dates.

2) Weekends are precious. While I don't mind spending a weekend night on a first date, I shouldn't assume that the woman wants to give up some other social thing she has planned just to go on a first date where you don't know the person at all.

3) Added pressure. Sat night dates mean you get to be nervous about it all day Sat. Week night dates are night because you can just knock them out and get the first date jitters out of the way. Then if there is a follow up date, you can make it for the Sat night and be more relaxed.

But based on the comments here, I think I will just go try for a Sat dinner date at a more relaxed place (no white tablecloths) and just see what happens. At the age of the women I am targeting (early 30s), chances are they might not have a lot of other social plans anyway so a Sat night date might be a welcome excuse to get out of the house.

You're over thinking this. I could have a date planned a week in advance and I don't stress about it at all. I might "stress" slightly about what shoes to wear in case he lied about his height on his profile. Aside from that? Zero stress.