Help a guy plan first dates
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Anonymous
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Guy here. I usually prefer to set up the first date for just coffee or a drink on a weeknight. Quick, no pressure, and easy way to keep it quick with the excuse that you have to get up the next morning. But my current job does not allow that.
So I am left with weekend first dates, which I do not like for various reasons. So what is the best way I could handle this? These are for first meets with women I chat with very little online first. So they really are going into it pretty much blind. Here are my thoughts: Coffee on Saturday afternoon. While I like the idea of it at first, it also means jammed up in a packed coffee shop with everyone on their laptops, kids around, etc. Plus, even though it is just the first meeting, I think there is something to be said about having it at night to add the element of romance. I think everyone feels more sexy and also can look their best under the soft glow of light rather than the harsh daylight. I also think a drink is better to help calm nerves and to loosen up. Early evening drink on Sat? OK, but when? Do you do it early as in 5 or 6PM so the expectation of dinner is not there? Or do you do it later to give the woman time to eat before-hand. Still though, at this later hour you are getting into a big Sat night first date, which is what I want to avoid. Sunday afternoon coffee or drink Sunday dates do have some merit at first glance. People are rested, kind of laid-back, often times without many other plans. But I think Sundays are also depressing so maybe it won't set the right tone. If it was summer, I'd almost say just going to get an ice cream cone down in Old Town or something and walk along the river would be a good weekend first date. Appreciate all ideas. |
Anonymous
| Drink on Sat evening (on the early side). Brunch on Sunday - with alcohol |
Anonymous
| Saturday late lunch is nicer than coffee and more casual than dinner. |
Anonymous
| As someone who doesn't drink I'd suggest brunch or meeting at a farmers market which could be just an hour or last three if the chemistry is there. |
Anonymous
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I wouldn't want to walk along the river with a guy I'd never met
Coffee is fine. But if you take them to dinner it's better. There's just something about dinner that's nicer and it makes you like the guy more. Maybe Sunday night dinner? |
Anonymous
I think for a first date he doesn't want to commit to dinner. Time-wise or financially. He wants a quick first date. |
Anonymous
| As a woman who had many first dates courtesy of Match, and who doesn't drink much alcohol, I preferred a casual coffee or drinks after work/Saturday or Sunday afternoon date. We could each give an hour and, if the chemistry is not there, pretend we had someplace else to be after our drink. If things are going well, we could add an hour. I love your idea about ice cream and walking around Old Town. On our second date, DH took me on the Staten Island Ferry (free and scenic, lots to talk about) and then for ice cream. It was awesome. |
Anonymous
| Married guy here. When I was dating, I often suggested meeting for lunch during the week if we worked reasonably close. It gave a nice short time limit "Sorry, gotta get back to the office, but it was nice to meet you." and you had a good sampling for whether you wanted a second, longer date. |
Anonymous
Hah...I can't believe I said "often" I didn't date a whole lot before meeting my wife.  It was more like a couple of times.
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Anonymous
| I am on a dating website and I cannot stand these cheapo first dates. Even a weekend lunch would be better than a $3 cup of coffee. |
Anonymous
| Sunday brunch? |
Anonymous
| I would think you are cheap (even though I always offer to pay for myself). I'd want lunch or dinner, not coffee which I don't drink or alcohol without a meal. |
Anonymous
I vote for Sunday brunch. A crepe should not break the bank, OP, but it'll make you seen in a much better light. |
Anonymous
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When I was single, (female here) - I did not have much time during the week to date, but had my weekends planned ahead of time. I would fill it with interesting classes and workshops, tours, movies, exhibitions, plays etc. - stuff I wanted to do or experience.
When a guy asked my out on a date, I would ask him along.If I did not enjoy his company, I still ended up doing stuff I wanted to do and my time was not a total waste. The men were happy too because they did not have to spend much money on me. I did not feel obligated to them, because they were springing for my ticket or stuff. |
Anonymous
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Your dates sound like your primary goal is saving money and that's a turnoff.
I agree with meeting for lunch or the farmer's market. Not everyone drinks. Meeting down at the Mall. Even better is tailoring it to her interests. |