Match - is winking effective?

[Anonymous]

i sent an ice breaker (back with Yahoo Personals) once, which is the equivalent of winking.

he's now my husband too.

[Anonymous]

Female who met her BF online. When I tried Match, I thought the winks made men seem insecure or like players. For a woman it might be seen as a bit on the coy side, but, yeah...much more likely to respond to someone who took the time to read my profile and found anything to say in response.

Current BF said it was my picture that caught his eye (he is a typical guy) and that he loved what I'd written when he took the time to read my profile. He still says thank you for replying that first time. His picture was terrible, btw.

Have a friend, colleague, whoever take a couple pictures of you. Everyone is aware of internet dating and it is not taboo. Actually, my friends and family encouraged me to date.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman and here is my hypothesis - see if you agree.

If a man winks at a woman, that is more likely to be a bad tactic because she will think he is lazy, not that interested. A woman winking at a man might be a more worthwhile tactic if it makes him take a look at her profile.

I am a man, and I agree with this conclusion if not the reasoning (lazy? silly). I haven't been on match in a few years, but I met several women with whom I got into serious LTRs, including the last one - my now wife!

The cultural norm right now - right or wrong, I'm not arguing it - is that men are the pursuers and women the pursued, by default. That means a wink from a woman is a strong signal (see the woman who winked and got a three page letter in reply) while a wink from a man is a weak signal, doubly so because it suggests timidity (and lack of self confidence). I had an almost two year relationship with a woman who I wouldn't have even emailed or noticed (distance) because she winked and took some initiative. I don't think there's anything wrong with women being the person to show interest and "speaking up" - a wink is speaking up for a woman, but not a man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I winked at someone. Now he is my husband

Same here

[Anonymous]

I came to this forum specifically to ask if anyone things match or eharmony are worth the money? I signed up but haven't started subscription yet because I want to find out from people who have used the service if it's worth it. Match sent me an email that said someone emailed me but I can't view the email until I pay the subscription. I wish they had a free 1 week trial or something like that.

[Anonymous]

many people do well online. I met my wife there.

one piece of advice, just don't let the stream of emails from all sorts of guys inflate your sense of worth. seems to me that is the worst part of the entire thing.

women get bombarded with emails from guys who would never even have the nerve to talk to them in real life, inflating the women's sense of value..such that when a real legitimate match may come along, she thinks she is too good for it.

otherwise, have at it!

pictures are key, men never realllly read more than a few lines of the profile. long female profiles seem narcissistic and self centered. if a guy writes you more than just a one liner, do take the time to respond because he actually took the time to write you when he has already had a failure rate that would make most women cry.

[Anonymous]

I met my wife online (on match) and so did my sibling. I also met several other good LTRs there. I would recommend:

Decent, but brief profile - you don't want to write a book because it won't get read and these things aren't all that effective at revealing who you are even if read. Just enough to know if there are some overlapping interests and to be clear about what you are looking for (casual date, sex, serious relationship, marriage, etc.). Just enough for someone to crudely filter.

RECENT ACCURATE PICTURES (this applies for everyone). I don't care what women say, pictures make a difference for them too - it's not just men judging quickly and "superficially" based on looks. I posted a shirtless shot (I am not "hot" w/ a six-pack) and it stunned me how it bumped my "wink" and response rate from women. Basic physical attraction is fundamental. Bait-and-Switch doesn't gain you anything - they won't "try you out and discover your wonderful personality" - they'll just be pissed you misled them by posting a five or six year old picture.

Do not waste time reading profiles at length or writing long letters in email - you might get all excited and hooked on someone with whom you have ZERO chemistry - something you discover the first time you are in their presence for more than five minutes. Just exchange enough to know you want to:

Meet them quickly for a very low pressure face-to-face - this filters flakes because flakes won't ever get around to it. You get to discover if there is any real attraction. You do low pressure/quick (coffee, not dinner, not a movie) so that nobody has to have their friend call them on the phone to 'rescue' them. So much more gets communicated in body language than we realize and there is just no substitute for a face-to-face meeting.

If you aren't interested in someone just tell them nicely and unequivocally. I have to agree with the last poster - men get shot down a lot, so if someone wrote you more than a one-liner or met you for coffee, don't fade, just say "no thank you".

[Anonymous]

winking is stupid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I winked at someone. Now he is my husband

+1 I winked. He wrote back a three page response. All the more impressive because he can't type.

I winked at like, 50 guys one night when I first joined match. Two responded. I married one of them. Winking for the win!