I feel guilty that I'm over it so quickly

[Anonymous]

You are not an ass. This was not the relationship for you. Ex-BF is not your responsibility anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the other side. Was recently broken up with. Depressing to hear you doing well....and dating already.

I hate it when people are like this. This is just a desire for revenge. It's gross to want the other person to suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was in my mid 20's, my BF of 5 years broke up with me out of the blue. Cut me off completely. I was a mess and couldn't believe how heartless and spineless he was after all that time. Cutting me off cold turkey was painful but it made it much easier to move on- there was no chance of me misunderstanding his intentions. I moved on quickly- dated a lot and then met my now husband.

Exact same thing happened to me. OP, you have done your ex a favor because he will deal with his heartbreak and then be able to move on to a relationship with someone better suited to him.
No need to feel guilty - you broke it off without any mixed signals and were willing to end contact for his sake...my best friend recently had her heart broken and her ex kept trying to contact her after she told him she needed space to heal - what a selfish jerk.
So go and enjoy your date, but just a warning - you are freshly broken up and in the "relief" stage, but as time goes on, you will probably miss your ex. If this or another date doesn't go well, or you feel lonely, you may start remembering the good times, which is totally normal and can be a bit confusing. The challenge is not confusing those feelings with a desire to get back with your ex - remember that you wouldn't have broken it off with him without good reason.

[Anonymous]

If it makes you feel better, OP, I was ready to move on like a day after I broke up with my ex BF who I dated for 5 years. I spent the last year of the relationship miserable and mourning the relationship so I consider that the breakup period. Screw it, do what you want and don't feel bad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the other side. Was recently broken up with. Depressing to hear you doing well....and dating already.

I hate it when people are like this. This is just a desire for revenge. It's gross to want the other person to suffer.

I don't see it that way. When you are dumped, there is often a hope that the ex will change their mind. It's very hard to deal with those feelings of rejection and know that while you are in such pain, your ex isn't looking back, that you are alone in your pain.
Normal, human feelings...not at all about revenge or wanting the other person to suffer.

[Anonymous]

Maybe OP will post back and let us know how the date went. If the sex with her ex bf was weak I can imagine she couldn't resist against her date's advances and they very probably got it on that night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're an ass, it's because you hung on to the relationship longer than was a good idea. Next time, just man up and break it off when you know it's doomed.

OP doesn't really think she's an ass. The heart-broken ex-boyfriend situation is an ego stroke for her, and she's posting here for more ego strokes.

I can see how you think it's an ego thing, but it really isn't. I feel terrible that I held on for as long as I did. Because I know I can't ask for my ex's forgiveness, I'm instead asking the DCUM god(desses) to absolve me of my sins. I should have expected the snark

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the other side. Was recently broken up with. Depressing to hear you doing well....and dating already.

I hate it when people are like this. This is just a desire for revenge. It's gross to want the other person to suffer.

I don't see it that way. When you are dumped, there is often a hope that the ex will change their mind. It's very hard to deal with those feelings of rejection and know that while you are in such pain, your ex isn't looking back, that you are alone in your pain.
Normal, human feelings...not at all about revenge or wanting the other person to suffer.

It's still gross to want someone else to suffer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm on the other side. Was recently broken up with. Depressing to hear you doing well....and dating already.

I hate it when people are like this. This is just a desire for revenge. It's gross to want the other person to suffer.

I don't see it that way. When you are dumped, there is often a hope that the ex will change their mind. It's very hard to deal with those feelings of rejection and know that while you are in such pain, your ex isn't looking back, that you are alone in your pain.
Normal, human feelings...not at all about revenge or wanting the other person to suffer.

It's still gross to want someone else to suffer.

I'm the one who posted this comment. I don't want someone else to suffer. That's an odd interpretation.
Certainly don't want my ex to suffer. I still care about him a great deal. Just feel very sad and lonely.

[Anonymous]

You are being really overdramatic OP. It's just a break up. He'll (she'll?) get over it. It happens all the time. It's not like you are divorcing with kids. Or even divorcing. Just breaking up. Only a matter of time before he/she meets someone that makes heart drop into stomach and all those butterflies start churning again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're an ass, it's because you hung on to the relationship longer than was a good idea. Next time, just man up and break it off when you know it's doomed.

OP doesn't really think she's an ass. The heart-broken ex-boyfriend situation is an ego stroke for her, and she's posting here for more ego strokes.

I can see how you think it's an ego thing, but it really isn't. I feel terrible that I held on for as long as I did. Because I know I can't ask for my ex's forgiveness, I'm instead asking the DCUM god(desses) to absolve me of my sins. I should have expected the snark

Why would you want to ask your ex for "forgiveness"? Unless you were intentionally dishonest with him, you simply made a regrettable, but common and understandable, mistake. Why do you need DCUM "god(desses)" to absolve you? I don't get why an adult human being is in need of absolution from an anonymous forum for an innocent mistake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you did some mourning and processing before formally breaking up. It's ok.

+1

OP normally I'd say yes, it is disrespectful (in a private way) to move on so quickly from a LTR, but if you're the poster I think you are you did a LOT of mental work leading up to this breakup and you are well within your rights to move on immediately. Hope the date is fun!

[Anonymous]

Tell us how the date goes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are not an ass. This was not the relationship for you. Ex-BF is not your responsibility anymore.

+1 You don't owe him any length of time to be single and mourn as well.

[Anonymous]

No update on the date. Apparently too busy, already wrapped up in her new guy.