What happens in college? I'm constantly worried about DS' future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, I share your concerns. My IEP kid is now in 7th grade and I feel HS and college looming ahead. I have looked and there are a lot of options for kids now. Colleges are getting the message that kids are coming with IEPs and starting programs to work with them and provide support. My current obsession is the DeSousa-Brent Scholars at St. Mary's in Maryland.

When is your child supposed to learn that life, employers and the real world isn't going to provide accommodations? At what point do all of these accommodations hinder the child instead of help prepare the child for life ahead?

Employers are required to abide by the ADA. There are accommodations in the "real world". A child with dysgraphia gets an accommodation in school for the use of a computer and word prediction software. What prevents that child from using it in the "real world"? My DC has Dragon Naturally Speaking as part of his accommodation for speech to text software. Plenty of adults use Dragon in the "real world". People listen to audio books in the "real world". A worker is allowed to get up from his desk and walk around periodically and/or use a ball as a chair, in the "real world".

Would you ask the same thing to a blind person? When are you going get stop using your seeing eye dog? Or paraplegic? When are you going to stop using that wheelchair?

[Anonymous]

My IEP son is planning on going to technical school for an automotive related career. It's actually a huge weight off my shoulders that he made a plan that is realistic for him. He just started high school and having a direction helped us map out his high school path so it's going to be manageable for him. According to his counselor, if he had waited a year or so to make his plan he would have had a very intense academic schedule which likely would have set him up for failure.

For those of you with younger kids, in MS there are lots of open houses put on by the high schools which are quite helpful in developing plans if college isn't going to be in your child's future.

[Anonymous]

How many employers are going to give the ADHD employer extra time to do the work?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many employers are going to give the ADHD employer extra time to do the work?

Plenty of people stay late to get the job done. Everyone has a mix of assets and deficits. Just like people without ADHD, a person with ADHD will find a job that fits what they have to offer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many employers are going to give the ADHD employer extra time to do the work?

I work with multiple ADHD workers and their ability to hyper focus and see the whole picture is amazing. I rather wait another day for their work product than get it on time from another worker who is less creative.

I work with Engineers, computer programers, computer architects, etc. They are amazing. Their abilities are always a plus in our organization.

When I found out my son was dyslexic and I missed a couple of days at work I finally just said to my team... OMG! I am sorry, my son is dyslexic and I am freaking out.

Each and everyone of them - these are extremly high paid engineers - came to me and told me a story of how they struggled in some way at school... dyslexia, ADHD, anxieties, tics, etc.

School is not work and work is not school. I have yet to sit my staff down and give them a multiple choice test and ask them to fill out little bubbles. They all found their interest and they are super successful.

My son is entering HS and the difference from 3rd grade to now is astounding. He still struggles with things here an there but I can't believe some nights what he CAN do that I thought in 3rd grade he would never do.

The best thing I did was get help. I got help from ASDEC. Their advocates helped me every step of the way in finding tools to help my son be successful. Dragon dictate, making lists, listing HW assignments and putting a time estimate after it to plan, a model for writing reports that other kids don't normally use.

Kids with LD's have self esteem issues. Find something that helps with his self esteem, something he is good at. It is hard to every day have teachers/tests/school tell you that you are not good enough and then believe it in your soul.

To the professor, if you ever have a student like that again, please give her some resourses to learn how to properly advocate for herself. Every college has a department that understands disabilities and can guide students to ask for the right accomodations without making excuses. Not everybody was given the gift of years of learning how to properly advocate. She seemed frustrated, it seems to me she could have been successful with the right help.

[Anonymous]

My dyslexic, ADHD child is in college. Dyslexia is tough but not a death sentence. She is smart but a super slow reader and has various other learning issues. She gets extra time on tests in college. She is allowed a couple of other accommodations (like access to notes) but hasn't, at least to my knowledge, used them. She's dropped a couple of classes. She goes to a top 50 SLAC (although towards the bottom of the top 50). She has probably a C/C+ average, which is fine with us. We know she's working hard at it and her grades have never reflected her level of effort. Exams are just not her strength. Hopefully she will graduate in 4 years, but she might need an extra semester. She is aiming for graduation, not phi beta kappa.

4th grade is too early to be worrying about college but for those who are closer to it I recommend Bass Educational Services. We found them too late to use them but they help find college fits for LD kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many employers are going to give the ADHD employer extra time to do the work?

My Adhd and dyslexic dh stays late nearly everyday to finish up. He will also bring it home and work on it on the weekends. It's a lot of work for him, but he does it and is very successful in his field.

Now his ability function at home on regular daily home tasks are another story all together....

[Anonymous]

DH with ADHD is able to hyper focus at work. he gravitated toward a profession (writing/PR) that was deadline oriented (as opposed to a lot of long term planning) and rewarded creativity and intense, single focus on a single thing, finish it and move on before getting bored.

He is a mess at home, can't organize or plan anything, but he does well at his job .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why college? Get him training in plumbing/elect/heat a/c/ real estate.

He can be on the path of getting rich while the other morons are in psychology class!

If he wants to go to college, there is no reason not to go. If he wants to get a trade degree, there's no reason that he can't do that.

Both of my dyslexic brothers finished college. 1 has a CIS degree and is a programmer. The other is a PhD in chemistry that does pharmaceutical research. They both did their BS in the regular amount of time, and didn't require special accomadations.(sp?)

Most large schools and some LAC have disability offices that can help if your son needs accomadations.(sp?) This isn't a big deal. They have lots of students with this difficult and have things in place for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How many employers are going to give the ADHD employer extra time to do the work?

I'm an attorney with ADHD. I work on a billable hour schedule. My employer could give a rat's ass about how much time I spend on something as long as my billables are on target and my work is good. (My work is FANTASTIC, btw.)

[Anonymous]

I am a college professor as well. All of my teaching is at highly competitive institutions, so take that into account--the kids I refer to may be particularly intelligent and particularly ambitious--and perhaps particularly well-prepared.

At the beginning of almost every semester I get a note from the dean's office letting me know that so and so is allowed extra time for tests and assignments and that the student will come and speak to me about any further needs. I almost never hear about it again.

Sometimes I have granted extensions and sometimes I have allowed for more time on quizzes or exams. However, these sorts of accommodations are very commonly allowed to all sorts of students, regardless of diagnosis or disability--they just aren't that unusual. What I have found is that if students develop good study habits in high school and earlier on, if they are taught to compensate for and work with their challenges, then they can make the transition to college very successfully. Often these kids are very careful about planning ahead for schedule conflicts. They are often very good at understanding themselves and their own abilities. Often they are very organized, for example, about asking for an extension for a written assignment weeks ahead of time. In my many years of teaching experience, I can think of very very few situations where students manipulated their situation and demanded special accommodations in a way that seemed inappropriate.

Not that I can't imagine that situation--the truth is, a great many college students are disorganized, overworked, and inconsistent. Sometimes the kids who never needed to develop good study or organizational practices before are the ones struggle most with the unstructured nature of college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many employers are going to give the ADHD employer extra time to do the work?

I work with multiple ADHD workers and their ability to hyper focus and see the whole picture is amazing. I rather wait another day for their work product than get it on time from another worker who is less creative.

I work with Engineers, computer programers, computer architects, etc. They are amazing. Their abilities are always a plus in our organization.

When I found out my son was dyslexic and I missed a couple of days at work I finally just said to my team... OMG! I am sorry, my son is dyslexic and I am freaking out.

Each and everyone of them - these are extremly high paid engineers - came to me and told me a story of how they struggled in some way at school... dyslexia, ADHD, anxieties, tics, etc.

School is not work and work is not school. I have yet to sit my staff down and give them a multiple choice test and ask them to fill out little bubbles. They all found their interest and they are super successful.

My son is entering HS and the difference from 3rd grade to now is astounding. He still struggles with things here an there but I can't believe some nights what he CAN do that I thought in 3rd grade he would never do.

The best thing I did was get help. I got help from ASDEC. Their advocates helped me every step of the way in finding tools to help my son be successful. Dragon dictate, making lists, listing HW assignments and putting a time estimate after it to plan, a model for writing reports that other kids don't normally use.

Kids with LD's have self esteem issues. Find something that helps with his self esteem, something he is good at. It is hard to every day have teachers/tests/school tell you that you are not good enough and then believe it in your soul.

To the professor, if you ever have a student like that again, please give her some resourses to learn how to properly advocate for herself. Every college has a department that understands disabilities and can guide students to ask for the right accomodations without making excuses. Not everybody was given the gift of years of learning how to properly advocate. She seemed frustrated, it seems to me she could have been successful with the right help.

It was this exact attitude that caused her to unsuccessful - that her success was entirely dependent on other people doing the right thing. She had a multiple of services and supports accessible to her and she was well connected to the department that provides support to students with disabilities. Her problem was that she externalized all responsibility for her success - just as you have - if only others had gotten her different/ better help then she would have been successful. The reality is that if only she had utilized the help and resources she had and looked at what she needed to do - she would have been successful. There will always be people who externalize all responsibility for their success on others and others who have a sense of agency and who work with those around them and the services they have to be successful. Given I was being accused of discrimination weekly by her whenever I didn't make her successful. By partway through the course I was not in a position to do anything to assist her other than , I wasn't even allowed to speak to her without a witness present.

the attitude you have that it was my responsibility and not hers to make her successful is not a good one for you to pass along to your son. Teach him to self-advocate and to have a sense of agency that he can be successful by his actions (and accessing what he needs) and that it isn't other people's responsibility to make sure he does well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many employers are going to give the ADHD employer extra time to do the work?

I work with multiple ADHD workers and their ability to hyper focus and see the whole picture is amazing. I rather wait another day for their work product than get it on time from another worker who is less creative.

I work with Engineers, computer programers, computer architects, etc. They are amazing. Their abilities are always a plus in our organization.

When I found out my son was dyslexic and I missed a couple of days at work I finally just said to my team... OMG! I am sorry, my son is dyslexic and I am freaking out.

Each and everyone of them - these are extremly high paid engineers - came to me and told me a story of how they struggled in some way at school... dyslexia, ADHD, anxieties, tics, etc.

School is not work and work is not school. I have yet to sit my staff down and give them a multiple choice test and ask them to fill out little bubbles. They all found their interest and they are super successful.

My son is entering HS and the difference from 3rd grade to now is astounding. He still struggles with things here an there but I can't believe some nights what he CAN do that I thought in 3rd grade he would never do.

The best thing I did was get help. I got help from ASDEC. Their advocates helped me every step of the way in finding tools to help my son be successful. Dragon dictate, making lists, listing HW assignments and putting a time estimate after it to plan, a model for writing reports that other kids don't normally use.

Kids with LD's have self esteem issues. Find something that helps with his self esteem, something he is good at. It is hard to every day have teachers/tests/school tell you that you are not good enough and then believe it in your soul.

To the professor, if you ever have a student like that again, please give her some resourses to learn how to properly advocate for herself. Every college has a department that understands disabilities and can guide students to ask for the right accomodations without making excuses. Not everybody was given the gift of years of learning how to properly advocate. She seemed frustrated, it seems to me she could have been successful with the right help.

It was this exact attitude that caused her to unsuccessful - that her success was entirely dependent on other people doing the right thing. She had a multiple of services and supports accessible to her and she was well connected to the department that provides support to students with disabilities. Her problem was that she externalized all responsibility for her success - just as you have - if only others had gotten her different/ better help then she would have been successful. The reality is that if only she had utilized the help and resources she had and looked at what she needed to do - she would have been successful. There will always be people who externalize all responsibility for their success on others and others who have a sense of agency and who work with those around them and the services they have to be successful. Given I was being accused of discrimination weekly by her whenever I didn't make her successful. By partway through the course I was not in a position to do anything to assist her other than , I wasn't even allowed to speak to her without a witness present.

the attitude you have that it was my responsibility and not hers to make her successful is not a good one for you to pass along to your son. Teach him to self-advocate and to have a sense of agency that he can be successful by his actions (and accessing what he needs) and that it isn't other people's responsibility to make sure he does well.

I think you raise an important point. One of the reasons we chose public school over a private school that specializes in LD students is the coddling and entitlement culture we saw at the ones we investigated. I tell my DC that it doesn't mean he doesn't have to do the work, it just means he may do it differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a college professor as well. All of my teaching is at highly competitive institutions, so take that into account--the kids I refer to may be particularly intelligent and particularly ambitious--and perhaps particularly well-prepared.

At the beginning of almost every semester I get a note from the dean's office letting me know that so and so is allowed extra time for tests and assignments and that the student will come and speak to me about any further needs. I almost never hear about it again.

Sometimes I have granted extensions and sometimes I have allowed for more time on quizzes or exams. However, these sorts of accommodations are very commonly allowed to all sorts of students, regardless of diagnosis or disability--they just aren't that unusual. What I have found is that if students develop good study habits in high school and earlier on, if they are taught to compensate for and work with their challenges, then they can make the transition to college very successfully. Often these kids are very careful about planning ahead for schedule conflicts. They are often very good at understanding themselves and their own abilities. Often they are very organized, for example, about asking for an extension for a written assignment weeks ahead of time. In my many years of teaching experience, I can think of very very few situations where students manipulated their situation and demanded special accommodations in a way that seemed inappropriate.

Not that I can't imagine that situation--the truth is, a great many college students are disorganized, overworked, and inconsistent. Sometimes the kids who never needed to develop good study or organizational practices before are the ones struggle most with the unstructured nature of college.

I'm another college instructor and I agree with all of the above. The only times I've really run into problems are when students who haven't worked with the Office of Disability Services come to me late in the semester and, at that point, says that consistently low grades are due to a disability. At least a my institution, the ODS really discourages us from making on-the-fly accommodations without their oversight, because they want to make sure that disabilities are documented and accommodations are made according to need.

[Anonymous]

It was this exact attitude that caused her to unsuccessful - that her success was entirely dependent on other people doing the right thing. She had a multiple of services and supports accessible to her and she was well connected to the department that provides support to students with disabilities. Her problem was that she externalized all responsibility for her success - just as you have - if only others had gotten her different/ better help then she would have been successful. The reality is that if only she had utilized the help and resources she had and looked at what she needed to do - she would have been successful. There will always be people who externalize all responsibility for their success on others and others who have a sense of agency and who work with those around them and the services they have to be successful. Given I was being accused of discrimination weekly by her whenever I didn't make her successful. By partway through the course I was not in a position to do anything to assist her other than , I wasn't even allowed to speak to her without a witness present.

the attitude you have that it was my responsibility and not hers to make her successful is not a good one for you to pass along to your son. Teach him to self-advocate and to have a sense of agency that he can be successful by his actions (and accessing what he needs) and that it isn't other people's responsibility to make sure he does well.

Your vision of kids with disabilities has obviously have been sullied by this one experience.

I understand teaching is not your main "responsibility" nor are you trained to teach it is publishing papers.