Holiday quandary!
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Anonymous
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OP here, to clarify...we alternate every year. Every year in Jan we confirm whose house we are going to. This past Jan. we all agreed it was our house. Now as of last week she wants to change it because of them moving out at some point.No she does not have a young baby. I mentioned the high airfare and that it just seems like a waste and her response was "you can't put a price on being together for Christmas"! That is true but we are a family of six and that's almost 12,000 just for tickets for four days.
My husband as some of you asked does not celebrate Christmas so we spend Thanksgiving with his family. That part at least works out just swell. Thanks for your varied responses, right now we are in limbo. I left a message for her earlier and am waiting for her to get back to me. With each day we wait the more the airfare goes up! |
Anonymous
| Just say no, OP. the plans were made in January...and yes you can put a price on togetherness and in this case it is $12,000. My guess is that SIL doesn't want to spend e money this year due to upcoming expenses and it has nothing to do with "last Christmas in their house". |
Anonymous
I would have to gauge if she is really THAT attached to their house. Have they been there that long? Can you justify the attachment or does it seem like a new found thing? That is what I would need to determine first. If you can afford it and your h is willing and everyone else is game, I guess based upon taking her word that they really want one last hurrah...you go and be sure she won't forget it 
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Anonymous
| Has your brother already bought his plane tickets to your house? Because that might help your argument not to change the plans. |
Anonymous
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$12,000
No Freaking Way I wouldn't do it if we were Oprah and Steadman Tell your sister to step away from the crack pipe! |
Anonymous
| Wait -- if you host, won't you just be making SIL and her family pay $1,700 per to come to you? |
Anonymous
| Could you guys begin instituting a cost-sharing process for all they flying around the country? Like take the entire cost of flying and 1/3 of that cost is borne by the hosting family? (or you could divide it by number of people in case one family has 4 kids and another has 1 or whatever). Or is the idea that the hosting family is taking on expense when it comes to feeding everyone? |
Anonymous
The plans were made in January according to OP. Sister could have bought tickets then when everyone agreed upon the location, this was the year the sister would have to travel, as it was not her year to host. The issue at hand is the last minute change of venue which is going to cost an unexpected amount of money for the OP. |
Anonymous
| No my sister and family already bought tickets a while back. I am the OP. Missed her call but she left me a message saying that she thinks I am being very unreasonable..ugh! |
Anonymous
| Just ignoring her manipulative ploys. She can come or not, but you don't have to bow down to her desires. Has she offered to pick up the cost? I assume not. "Nought said. |
Anonymous
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OP--if you don't go this year, you'll be going to her house next year, right? You'd just be swapping which year in which house, but over the course of 3 years, it will balance out and everyone has to travel 2 of those 3 years. Does it matter that much whether you spend the $12K this year or next year? So, you should talk to your sister and say that you understand that this year will have some sentimentality as the last year in her house, but that you think that she may want to do next year for the first time in the new house. Say that you don't really want the expense of traveling to California both years, so she should pick one and you'll take the other. And then you'll have it out now for both this year and next year. You will still only have the expense once.
Treat her like a child. Give her a choice of two things that you choose (Christmas this year OR next year at her house, but not both) and then let her choose. And then you can confirm this in front of everyone at Christmas this year while everyone is together so that you don't have to go through all this again next year. |
Anonymous
wait, tickets have been bought but your sister is willing to deal with cancelled flights (penalties) and also has an OK from the other family who has bought tickets. Sounds so wasteful. If they loved their old house so much then why not just continue living there. |
Anonymous
Sorry you are having to deal with this nonsense OP - your sister is being unreasonable making you change plans now, at the end of summer and shell out for tickets that are way overpriced at this point. Tell her sorry - but there is a price on being together for xmas, and its 12k. That is a new car (a cheap one but still). |
Anonymous
If she wants you to spend her "last Christmas" in the old house, then she can pick up the difference between what it normally costs to fly there and what the prices are now. End of story. Its not a question of you being able to afford it, she is being a pain about something that was decided almost 9 months ago! Like a PP said, if she is so attached to this house, why the heck is she moving? |
Anonymous
| if it is so important that your sister be at her house for christmas, why doesn't her family stay home for the 25th and fly to your house the day after christmas? Seems like a decent compromise and doesn't require everyone to change plans/tickets. |