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[quote=Anonymous]OP--if you don't go this year, you'll be going to her house next year, right?  You'd just be swapping which year in which house, but over the course of 3 years, it will balance out and everyone has to travel 2 of those 3 years.  Does it matter that much whether you spend the $12K this year or next  year?  So, you should talk to your sister and say that you understand that this year will have some sentimentality as the last year in her house, but that you think that she may want to do next year for the first time in the new house.  Say that you don't really want the expense of traveling to California both years, so she should pick one and you'll take the other.  And then you'll have it out now for both this year and next year.  You will still only have the expense once.

Treat her like a child.  Give her a choice of two things that you choose (Christmas this year OR next year at her house, but not both) and then let her choose.  And then you can confirm this in front of everyone at Christmas this year while everyone is together so that you don't have to go through all this again next year.[/quote]

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