How would you react if you found out your daughter is having an affair with a professor?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did not think of this as a common occurrence, guess I have had my head in the sand!

Is not common. Profs who hookup with students are considered sleazy.

[Anonymous]

shes whoring herself out to get grades

[Anonymous]

Am I the only one who is shocked the DD just met her parents for dinner with a much older man who is a professor with no warning?

Other than that, it's her life. But I think there should have been a heads up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would say she is smart. And it isnt an affair, so get over yourself and recognize your daughter is a savvy grown up.

So PP-- Do you have a child(ren)? If so, what are the ages?

[Anonymous]

I echo what most are saying, you cannot do much about it so best to give your support. But I would be concerned if this is a regular habit of his. I went to a school where there was a professor who was incredibly charismatic, had that boyish charm and everyone (mostly girls) worshiped him. Though I don't know of anyone myself rumor was that he bedded as many girls as a rowdy frat brother. Somehow this didn't surprise me, he was very flirty with his students.

Not sure if this guy is like that but its an easy ego boosting position to be in and take advantage of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who is shocked the DD just met her parents for dinner with a much older man who is a professor with no warning?

Other than that, it's her life. But I think there should have been a heads up

Whats shocking about it? She deceived the d as super independent and mature, in her eyes she was probably not doing anything wrong. To have "forewarned" them would have been an admittance of doing something they needed to approve.

[Anonymous]

Sooooo sleazy of him.

I once met the wife of one of my favorite law school professors. They are both in their sixties. They were high school sweethearts and she told me, "I'm one of the few first wives left on the law school faculty!" And her husband chimed in, "yes, and many are married to former students. The dean has gotten many a call from parents complaining about professors sleeping with their daughters." The wife retorted, "well of course! How would you like it if you sent your daughter off to law school and she came home and told you she was dating some old man!"

I knew a girl who was dating one of the professors. People looked down on both of them as a result.

Op, does her law school have study abroad options? I would encourage her to do that. Maybe that'll break them up.

[Anonymous]

Oh boy that's a tough one. I must admit I would be concerned but at a point you need to let go and let her make this decision on her own. I hope he is a good guy and genuinely loves her and has plans to be honorable if that is the direction they are heading into....

[Anonymous]

Whats wrong with it? To me, nothing. i am 28 and i have to tell you if I was attracted to my professor i would have no problem letting him know that. That is today's world everyone.

You go after what you want. Why should men have all the fun?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whats wrong with it? To me, nothing. i am 28 and i have to tell you if I was attracted to my professor i would have no problem letting him know that. That is today's world everyone.

You go after what you want. Why should men have all the fun?

There's a big difference in the maturity and life experiences of a 22 year old versus a 28 year old. Her parents are on the mark to be concerned and surprised. I wouldn't expect that at 28 you would understand that. I certainly wouldn't have when I was your age. But at age 47 and old enough to be this young woman's mother, I get her parents' response.

[Anonymous]

There is something wrong with both of them. Think about it.

[Anonymous]

There isn't much you can do except be there for her when it goes sour.

I know that type of professor. And especially given he's popular, he will likely not settle down when he works at a place with a fresh new batch of young women completely enamored of him every year.

I don't care if they're consenting adults, I think it's tacky for a professor to date a student who is in a program where he teaches (even if she doesn't have a class with him). He still has influence with faculty. It is still extremely unprofessional, and frankly, I think colleges should have written policies against it.

Maybe this will be a good learning experience for her. Because when she gets out into the working world, it's really risky dating where you work, even if you don't take a direct supervisor. She needs to learn that lesson now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whats wrong with it? To me, nothing. i am 28 and i have to tell you if I was attracted to my professor i would have no problem letting him know that. That is today's world everyone.

You go after what you want. Why should men have all the fun?

There's a big difference in the maturity and life experiences of a 22 year old versus a 28 year old. Her parents are on the mark to be concerned and surprised. I wouldn't expect that at 28 you would understand that. I certainly wouldn't have when I was your age. But at age 47 and old enough to be this young woman's mother, I get her parents' response.

i.

I am 36, and I agree completely with you. I have seen this kind of scenario play out in a number of ways, young woman and older divorced man or young woman and older professor. I have yet to see a relationship with that age gap and that dynamic (where the man is in a superior position, which he is because he is a professor and she is a student) that is healthy.

[Anonymous]

"Sorry for the word affair, I meant she is "carrying on" with him. He is not married, divorced with a 20 year old son. "

Threesome!!

[Anonymous]

I would not like but something tells me the more you fight it the firmer she will plant her feet in the sand. I cannot speak for this man but to me it seems just wrong to engage in a relationship with a student. She might be an adult but 22 is very young. My daughter is 20 and I cannot imagine.

My biggest concern would be his experience, wisdom and natural confidence that one gains with his age and position and the power to totally woo your daughter .I would hate to see her hurt. If she sees him flirting with a another student, this could really affect her and bring down her performance in law school if she is emotionally attached to this man. And who is to say he doesn't sleep around often, its not unheard of. Is traveling abroad an option for her?