I don't want my kid to be the only white student . . .

[Anonymous]

I think I understand what you're saying, or I'm giving the benefit of the doubt.

I don't want my child to be the "only" something: the only girl, the only white child, the only child from an agnostic family, fill-in-the-blank. I also hope that someone else's child isn't the "only" anything: only mixed-race, only Hindi, only non-native English speaker, only child with 2 dads, etc. I try to strike a balance between teaching her to appreciate her uniqueness, and also feeling part of a group. I sign her up for team sports so she can learn to be a good team-member and work towards a shared goal. I sign her up for individual lessons where her success or failure rests on her own efforts. I put her in a school with children of all different kinds of backgrounds to broaden her horizons, and help her learn to relate to all kinds of people.

I know I'm not alone here - aren't we all trying to find the right balance for our children? I can understand someone not wanting to be the "only" of any race or background, not out of dislike or mistrust, but because it's a dynamic I think is at odds with real life, at least most of the time.

I hope that doesn't make me racist, but I'll have to live with it if it does because it's what is best for my family.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it is reasonable shorthand in the DC area for not wanting your (white) child to be the only middle class kid in the class. A classroom full of desperately poor children is one that isn't going to be focused on learning most of the day.

[Anonymous]

14:03 and 14:06 (with the exception of the "b*&^%" comment, which is not how I would choose to express myself) are spot on.

I have had the same experience as 14:03, and have also experienced being ostracized as a result of being "the smartest." No one wants their child to be ignored or treated badly. Being an "only" in a crowd of "others" somehow engenders this in primary and school environments.

None of us wants our child to be the only anything.

At the same time, it is disturbing that so often on this board parents' posts so obviously equate being non-white, or particularly African-American, with many undesirable traits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is just a post for my information. The post referencing the Brent boundary's had the OP mentioning that they did not want their kid being the only white kid in the class. A phrase I have seen in the DCPS/dcumd threads before. Most of the time I can clearly just define the racist beliefs or better than that the distinction to have the children not associate with a certain class of non-white people. I just wonder why or how people who consider themselves not to be racist move into a city that is majority black and a school system that is majority poor make judgments not about test scores, not about safety but only about skin color.

My children attend Tyler and I didn't choose it because of how many white students or but based off Tyler's ability to meet my children's special needs.

Word Salad! How are ya?

You really should get a username, so the unwary don't click on your post and spend the next 5 minutes trying to decipher it. All the words are English, but they're not put together in any coherent fashion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't see the post in question, but assuming the best from that poster, I can understand how he/she feels. I am a black physician, and have spent my whole school/college career as "the only" in predominantly white schools. At receptions and such, I don't even notice that I'm the only black professional in attendance anymore. It is not a good feeling having everyone turn to you when a lecture is about poverty, or drugs, or teenage pregnancy, or black people in general.

Socialization also matters...having people say "you're trying to act white" because of the way I dress or speak was a painful and confusing experience for me, and many others in my situation through school. Even in a predominantly black city, it shouldn't be too much to expect some diversity in the city's schools. Being "the only" in a class is hardly ever a desirable situation, regardless of one's race/ethnicity (albeit, for different reasons, depending on the race of the child).

If I'm totally off the mark about the poster who didn't want her child to be the only white kid in class, please disregard all that I've said!

I'm a parent of an 'only' right now. This poster explains some of the concerns I had when the school year started. It wasn't because I didn't want my kid associating with minorities or whatever (if that was the case, I wouldn't be living in DC and sending him to public school). I was concerned about him being used as an example or being treated differently because of how he looks.

Luckily, we have had a very different experience than the PP at 14:06, but it hasn't been a bump free year either. The beginning of the year was rough. We are changing schools next year for other reasons, but to be very honest, demographics IS one of the things I looked at when applying for schools and I avoided the ones where we would be the 'only' again. None of the schools were amazing enough for me to totally ignore the demographics. It just creates an extra layer of uncertainty and confusion when the DC school system already has plenty of that. Why make it harder than it already is?

[Anonymous]

My child is the only white child in the class currently. PS3.

I'm sorry to hear about the PP's bad experience, but ours has been anything but. Our child has made friends easily, is compatible with other classmates, and though our child is probably of a higher SES than most students, I'm not seeing any notable issues or discrepancies in behavior or learning right now (yes, I realize those grow, but right now we're fine). My kid hasn't even mentioned skin color until a few weeks ago with regard to a teacher (trying to describe her) but I think that may be in part to the fact that there are lots of "colors" in the class and my kid sees a range of lights and darks and not race.

To each his or her own. But being a minority has been just fine in our experience.

[Anonymous]

14:23, you're wrong I am over here but if you into naming people then I have choice words for you too.

Also, I would like to tell'ya what to get and where to stick-it but people in DC don't talk that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the only white student in her class last year. We blithely assumed she would be fine, because kids are color blind, right? She ate alone every day. She told me (and the teacher confirmed) that she tried to join the other children at recess but was rebuffed. More than once, she came home crying because another elementary school child told her to take her "white ass" and get lost. (Well, the first time, she asked me what "ass" meant, because she had never heard it before.) We stuck it out through the rest of the year, but changed schools this past fall. Her new classroom has a good mix of kids, and a great inclusive vibe; she has many friends in her class, not just white kids. Any kind of homogeny is bad for the "only".

But you might not be aware of that tendency, because there are lots of stupid bitches around, so you've always been in good company.

I disagree that any kind of homogeny is bad for the only. Frankly, I think being the only black kid at an otherwise all-white schools is probably easier, since no white child would dare tell a black child to "take your black ass and get lost." White children, frankly, do not speak that way.

White children in DC don't, maybe, but there's a whoooole lot of 'em in the rest of the country that do.

On my son's lacrosse team last year one little boy was called a dirty nigger! Yes here in DC, practice was at Deal Middle School! My son later asked me what does nigger mean?

[Anonymous]

I wonder if it's easier for boys. My DS was one of two white boys in a DCPS preschool class and we had no problems at all. His best friend was a very shy little black girl. My son never brought up race that year. I never heard any child or parent say anything negative about white people.

[Anonymous]

Really, racist name-calling from a lacrosse player?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the only white student in her class last year. We blithely assumed she would be fine, because kids are color blind, right? She ate alone every day. She told me (and the teacher confirmed) that she tried to join the other children at recess but was rebuffed. More than once, she came home crying because another elementary school child told her to take her "white ass" and get lost. (Well, the first time, she asked me what "ass" meant, because she had never heard it before.) We stuck it out through the rest of the year, but changed schools this past fall. Her new classroom has a good mix of kids, and a great inclusive vibe; she has many friends in her class, not just white kids. Any kind of homogeny is bad for the "only".

But you might not be aware of that tendency, because there are lots of stupid bitches around, so you've always been in good company.

I disagree that any kind of homogeny is bad for the only. Frankly, I think being the only black kid at an otherwise all-white schools is probably easier, since no white child would dare tell a black child to "take your black ass and get lost." White children, frankly, do not speak that way.

White children in DC don't, maybe, but there's a whoooole lot of 'em in the rest of the country that do.

But this is DCUM and we're talking about DC, not the rest of the country. And, honestly, except for some locales, I cannot think of a single place where a white child would speak like that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the only white student in her class last year. We blithely assumed she would be fine, because kids are color blind, right? She ate alone every day. She told me (and the teacher confirmed) that she tried to join the other children at recess but was rebuffed. More than once, she came home crying because another elementary school child told her to take her "white ass" and get lost. (Well, the first time, she asked me what "ass" meant, because she had never heard it before.) We stuck it out through the rest of the year, but changed schools this past fall. Her new classroom has a good mix of kids, and a great inclusive vibe; she has many friends in her class, not just white kids. Any kind of homogeny is bad for the "only".

But you might not be aware of that tendency, because there are lots of stupid bitches around, so you've always been in good company.

I disagree that any kind of homogeny is bad for the only. Frankly, I think being the only black kid at an otherwise all-white schools is probably easier, since no white child would dare tell a black child to "take your black ass and get lost." White children, frankly, do not speak that way.

White children in DC don't, maybe, but there's a whoooole lot of 'em in the rest of the country that do.

On my son's lacrosse team last year one little boy was called a dirty nigger! Yes here in DC, practice was at Deal Middle School! My son later asked me what does nigger mean?

Lacrosse team? So, we're talking teenagers? I said white children and was assuming primary age with that. I agree the language gets dicier with the teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:14:23, you're wrong I am over here but if you into naming people then I have choice words for you too.

Also, I would like to tell'ya what to get and where to stick-it but people in DC don't talk that way.

Aren't you going to say something about the stroller brigade? Just go ahead and get it over with.

[Anonymous]

The only white child in a school, is that really happening? When is the tide going to change, shouldn't we be beyond that stage? Haven't enough whites moved into the neighborhood to make the neighborhood schools diverse? I am not believing this blog, it's not real, someone is making this up. One white child in a school, it's a conspiracy and a travesty. Where's the news media? We were told that all of these new and remodeled schools were being built to lure the whites back to DC. What's happening, what did we not do correctly, as you know this is the "plan" that everyone is talking about for decades.

We have the only white parent at our PTA of predominantly black school, she's married to a black parent and is the step-parent to the black child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid was the only white student in her class last year. We blithely assumed she would be fine, because kids are color blind, right? She ate alone every day. She told me (and the teacher confirmed) that she tried to join the other children at recess but was rebuffed. More than once, she came home crying because another elementary school child told her to take her "white ass" and get lost. (Well, the first time, she asked me what "ass" meant, because she had never heard it before.) We stuck it out through the rest of the year, but changed schools this past fall. Her new classroom has a good mix of kids, and a great inclusive vibe; she has many friends in her class, not just white kids. Any kind of homogeny is bad for the "only".

But you might not be aware of that tendency, because there are lots of stupid bitches around, so you've always been in good company.

I disagree that any kind of homogeny is bad for the only. Frankly, I think being the only black kid at an otherwise all-white schools is probably easier, since no white child would dare tell a black child to "take your black ass and get lost." White children, frankly, do not speak that way.

White children in DC don't, maybe, but there's a whoooole lot of 'em in the rest of the country that do.

But this is DCUM and we're talking about DC, not the rest of the country. And, honestly, except for some locales, I cannot think of a single place where a white child would speak like that.

Seriously, you're naive. I've heard white kids in DC say some pretty nasty things. Usually, they save it for when they're not around parents...

It's really kind of ridiculous that somehow people here thing that DC white kids are so precious and innocent.