Does anyone else get frustrated with play dates with "only" children?

[Anonymous]

We have a couple of "onlies" who are regular play eaters at our house (3 kids here), and they are both great! This is just an unfortunate generalization.

[Anonymous]

We have a couple of only playmates, and both are actually a couple of years older than my 3 year old. One is great, and the other is great on his own, though his mom might benefit from a slightly less obsessive focus on every move he makes.

[Anonymous]

I remember the days before my second came along. I forget how self centered ( wish there was another word) a child can be who doesn't have to share life experiences 24/7 with other kids, on the other hand - lucky them.

Due to my hideous work schedule, my only child spends 9 hours a day in daycare "sharing life experiences with other kids." So I think he's just fine in terms of practice sharing and getting along with other kids.

[Anonymous]

OP - How did parents deal with YOUR annoying kid when s/he was an only?

[Anonymous]

What is your sample size? 1 or 2 onlies and you've decided it applies to all?

[Anonymous]

Suck it, OP.

[Anonymous]

How old are your kids?

Why do YOU have to work around this?

What does it have to do with you?

I have 2 kids, but it's possible my friends could think I'm "oblivious" to my kids' behavior just because I choose not to interfere with their peer interactions, as long as no one is getting hurt. It's quite possible people schedule playdates for their self-centered only kids in the HOPES that the other kids will take them down a notch here and there and help them learn that they are not queen/king of the world. Learning this on their own, without parents constantly jumping in and mediating their experiences, is a wonderful thing.

If you're worried that your kids are passive and let themselves be dominated, OP, and you don't like seeing this happen, I would suggest it's probably more their temperament than a sibling thing, but I'd think it best you talk/role-play with them, when at home, about how to deal with bossy friends and so forth. Don't you think?

[Anonymous]

I find playdates most stressful around the toddler / early preschool age when you really WANT them to be learning to work it out w/ each other a bit but you're also worried about the other mom thinking you're letting your kid be "bad".

anyway, I have not noticed that onlies/first's are bad play daters - but most in our neighborhood are also kids of WOHMs so spend daycare time for part of the week at least. I think if a SAHM kid isn't around others as often it will take more practice to get as good socially just since they don't get as many chances to practice playing well.

[Anonymous]

Oh, OP, you are so silly.

[Anonymous]

My only plays very well with other kids but I have made sure she has a lot of social experiences. Also, please note that some parents would love to have more than one but it has not worked out so far. To question this is just as rude as questioning why someone does not have any children at all. Lastly, your eldest child was an only child at some point as well and I am sure you would not have appreciated such commentary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My only plays very well with other kids but I have made sure she has a lot of social experiences. Also, please note that some parents would love to have more than one but it has not worked out so far. To question this is just as rude as questioning why someone does not have any children at all. Lastly, your eldest child was an only child at some point as well and I am sure you would not have appreciated such commentary.

OP isn't bright enough to see the irony of her post.

[Anonymous]

Ridiculous generalizations. I know only kids who absolutely love babies and toddlers and want to hold/play with them whenever they have access to a friend's little brother or sister; on occasion they go home and ask if they can have a little brother/sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - How did parents deal with YOUR annoying kid when s/he was an only?

This.

Please tell us OP.

[Anonymous]

OP you need go get a life. Really.

[Anonymous]

OP, I have found many onlies to be brats but agree with others, it's more the parents than the kids fault. In DD's preschool class, the two kids who are onlys are the worst most troublesome kids in the class. I was shocked when I co-opted and saw their behavior.

I love all the mom's of the only's saying their kid is perfect- what mom is going to say their child is selfish, doesn't like to share and is a brat?! And your perspective really does change once you have two.

Even with three kids, my kids always look presentable so that person saying you have more kids and you don't have time is just crazy. Some people with one kid have their kids in dirty rags for clothes- it's more about the parent.