Friend does not discipline her child and it's no longer fun hanging out with them -- what to do?
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Anonymous
Where did you read a suggestion to "openly criticize" and be "armed" with books? From the suggestions and offer of help? You are pretty angry and defensive. If this person is your FRIEND, offer to help her with what you see as a problem and that other people will too. She's clueless and in need of help and may appreciate it in the (admittedly possibly distant) future. If she isn't really a friend at all, or perhaps YOU are not HER friend at all, then by all means, don't try to help her. Just run away. |
Anonymous
| Don't play at your house as much as possible until this phase is over. We go to the park or meet at the more permissive parent's home until the kids can play more with each other and not just spend their time exploring the other person's house. Harder o do in the inter, but you can just make excuses -- "my house is a mess/we started a home project/etc." |
Anonymous
| "Harder to do in the winter. . ." |
Anonymous
| Read 17:36 response, PP. It's ridiculous. |
Anonymous
Refer her to the producers of Supernanny. Mom sounds like a good fit 
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Anonymous
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If you really want this friendship to last, meet at parks and then do lunch, dinner, drinks, without kids.
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Anonymous
| Or simply stop judging your friend's parenting style. |
Anonymous
| Eh, it's OK to judge. One hundred percent of us judge others for something. This issue may be OP's thing and therefore hard to ignore. |
Anonymous
| Not so fast, PP. Truly kind people do not judge. And normal people recognize that parenting isn't a competitive sport. |
Anonymous
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No, it's been proven by scientists in repeated studies that all humans judge others for something. All categorize, and all exclude. We have to, in order to make sense of our world, in short.
The better among us probably try to be cognizant of this and keep it to a minimum though. |
Anonymous
| OP, there are plenty of parents that have annoying kids; and plenty of kids that have annoying parents. You won't have a match most of the time. I would suggest doing things like coffee, dinner, lunch, whatever with just your friend. Or not. But the kid sounds annoying. I know she's only three, but if you believe she really does annoying things on purpose and her mom makes excuses for her, believe me, it will only get worse! |
Anonymous
| Just say, "Lately I'm feeling like our parenting styles don't mesh and it's making playdates really difficult for me and LittleMe. But I still love you as a friend, so can we just go out for a girls night, without the kids?" |
Anonymous
| Or, the OP's kid might act out on a playdate and the other parent might pass judgment on the OP for how she handles it....see the vicious cycle, Mommies??? I have a handful of kids, and the oldest is pushing 10 so I've had the pleasure of observing tons of kids over the past nine years, and I can assure you that even the most awesome kids with the coolest parents act out. Trust me, you would probably be surprised how your kid acts at playdates when you aren't around. One of my sons nicest friends used to run into my pantry and grab snacks like a crazed lunatic. Turns out his mom is very anti-snacks, so the poor kid was equal parts hungry and excited by new treats. This kid was 7 at the time, and up until then I had never noticed any issues with him. All of this is to say that one day the OP's perfect three year old just might have a less than stellar moment down the road, and I will say a prayer for the OP that the other parents don't shun her for that (or offer her parenting books). |
Anonymous
| OP, don't listen to these people who think they know everything because they have older kids. Your friend is raising a brat: throwing things when they don't get their way needs to be nipped in the bud, as does grabbing and banging on the refrigerator door. There are parents who don't mind being around brats or having their kids socialize with (or be) brats and that's great, but nothing says you have to be that family. |
Anonymous
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19:01 - do you not realize that what the Friend will hear when those words are spoken to her is, "it's not me, it's you and your bad kid.".
Seriously, people: how old are the moms who are posting these "helpful" suggestions? And how old is your one, perfect child? I suggest you print out some of your posts and pull them out and read them in another five to ten years. |