When your kid asks, are you "middle class," "upper-middle," something else?
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Anonymous
Agree. It is important to provide some context and explain what it means. And class distinctions have significant bearings on history. We tend not to be too specific about where we stand, but by middle school the kids knew that we were well off. They also know there are plenty of people who have/spend more. |
A lot of this is age-dependent, too. My answer would be far different for a 7 year old than it would be for a 12 year old. I think it's fine, and actually important, to emphasize you don't like labels. But your child still might want an explanation of why people talk about this so much and what it means.
Anonymous
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Just like with sex, we strive to always tell the truth about money. We try to stay away from labels but tell our kids that we are pretty well off. We live in MoCo and have a HHI of about $90k. We talk about how much money we make and how it gets spent. It's not a big deal for them, fortunately.
We focus on the material plenty that we enjoy in our life (food! our own home! healthcare! fun toys!) but that other families have more or less than us. None of it determines our enjoyment or success in life - they are just parameters. |
Anonymous
| I asked my 12 year old what he thought we were, and he replied, "upper middle class." I said yes, that's right. That was the end of it. |
Anonymous
Good for you. I don't get all the angst here. The child is trying to understand how his family fits into these categories he's hearing about. And for a previous PP who can't imagine a kid asking this, I remember asking my mom this as a kid. Not weird at all. |
Anonymous
| I tell my kids they are lucky. They don't need to know any more about our financial situation than that, nor should it matter. |
Anonymous
| We're middle class/white collar/professionals. Whatever. If my daughter's dad and I were living under the same roof and paying for one household, we'd probably be upper middle class. I will have to explain to my daughter at some point that she'll meet people who have more money than we do, and can afford bigger houses or better vacations or whatever, but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. |
Anonymous
Agree on both counts. Trying to be all coy will backfire - kids aren't stupid and if you want them to trust you and ask YOU for advice on any of a million number of things, not being honest with them will ensure that they go elsewhere for information. |
Anonymous
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Do NOT tell your kid you are working class unless you are. If you make 6 figures and your kid goes around telling his friends he's working class, then he's going to look like an idiot.
Most people think/say they are middle class and that's probably fine. "Middle" in DC seems to include everything but the top .5% (the 1% still seem to think they are MC for the most part). It's a meaningless term these days. |
Anonymous
I had a big fight with a neighbor kid when I was 7 because he was taunting me about my dad being "white collar" and his dad was "blue collar." I had no idea what this meant, or why it was so bad my dad was white collar. In fact, I argued with him over the face he usually wore blue shirts to work, so what does this all mean anyway? Stupid fight started because he overheard some conversation his parents must have been having about my dad. So of course I asked my parents about it. You never know what might pop into your kids' heads. I don't think asking about middle class and upper class would be strange at all. |
Anonymous
| I say that we are rich in love and compassion and financially poor, but there are always people better and worse off than everybody, and it's not a contest. What matters is how we treat people. |
Anonymous
+100000. That's an extremely ignorant statement. Everyone works, just because you work doesn't mean you are working class. Working class means mostly blue collar jobs, someone working multiple minimum wage jobs, stretching to make ends meet, no money leftover for extras (i.e. no gym membership, eating out, vacations, private school, etc) and sometimes making hard choices like do we pay the electric bill or do we go food shopping this week. Technically speaking these are the levels: Generational Poverty-live poor, little way to work there way out and improve their lives. Average income is about 20,000/year for a family of 4. Working Class-Make 30k or less a year, mostly hourly wage jobs. Typically factory workers, other blue color jobs. Most don't have college degrees Lower Middle Class- Make between 32k-60k. Typically have a Bachelors degree but have little means for higher education or career advancement. Upper Middle Class-Make 100,000 or more a year Above that, there are those that make more than 150,000/year (nicknamed the "5 percent) and those that make more than 250,000 a year (the 1 percent) There are exceptions to this, especially with the economic downturn and some professions, like teaching, start at as little as 30k a year and max out around 60-70k a year after years of teaching (in this area around 40 or 45k a year and max out at around 100k) which puts most teachers in the Working or Lower Middle Class even though many teachers have Masters degrees. A lot of rich people like to defend how "poor" they are for some reason. I guess the grass is always greener and once you have a lot of money you find ways to spend it and want more. |
Anonymous
| I would tell my kid, "YOU are poor, because you have no money. When you're old enough to earn money, you can decide if you are poor, rich, middle class. Until then, as long as you have what you need, and you do, don't worry about my and your dad's money." |
Anonymous
How nurturing. |
Anonymous
Methinks PP doth protest too much. |
Anonymous
| I tell the kids we are poor. It lessens their expectations and builds character. |