When your kid asks, are you "middle class," "upper-middle," something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell the kids we are poor. It lessens their expectations and builds character.

But are you really? If not, don't you worry they will talk about being "poor" in front of others and it will seem really bizarre? And what if this makes them very nonchalant about what "poor" means, which could make them insensitive to the very real struggles of others? Not to mention not too worried about falling into poverty themselves?

(I sort of have a feeling you were kidding, but this post bugged me, so here's my response anyway.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I tell the kids we are poor. It lessens their expectations and builds character.

But are you really? If not, don't you worry they will talk about being "poor" in front of others and it will seem really bizarre? And what if this makes them very nonchalant about what "poor" means, which could make them insensitive to the very real struggles of others? Not to mention not too worried about falling into poverty themselves?

(I sort of have a feeling you were kidding, but this post bugged me, so here's my response anyway.)

Not to mention what it teaches kids about the actual poor. I also hoped this was a joke.

[Anonymous]

I tell my child we are middle class. And we are. I make five figures, sole HHI source. I own my house (underwater, but whatever. We aren't moving). There is food in the fridge, a functional used car in the driveway, and a little put away for retirement and college. We have health insurance, coats appropriate to the weather, and a Netflix account. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things in the US (and I explain this to my son), we are positively rolling in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are wealthy enough that neither of us need work & we live very, very comfortably on investment income. Our house isn't ostentatious, but it is in a close-in, good neighborhood. You probably wouldn't guess our net worth by looking at it.

DS will inherit a few million at 25, then the bulk of our assets when we're gone. He doesn't know about the inheritance $ yet; but having gone through this, it is not easy to walk into a sudden lump of money.

To help prepare him, he has had his own trading account since he was 5yo. Every few months, we tally up free cash in it and talk about what he wants to invest in. He's got 18 yrs to get ready to manage his own assets, so his 'little' 30k account is like a set of training wheels and he is already very aware of the power of compounding and investing. He's too busy focusing on what he's got personally to bother asking about whether we're rich or poor.

I do a lot of hands-on volunteering at a hospital that services the most underserved parts of DC and try to live by example in letting him know that having money is mostly about having the freedom to choose what you want to do with your time without having monetary constraints play a significant role in your decision. My hope is that it also demonstrates the importance of community service and will inspire him to do likewise as he gets to be old enough.

Please don't take this question the wrong way, I do mean it sincerely -- if you can afford to live well off of investments and never work again, why do you live in this area? My husband and I daydream about this scenario often and we both agree that unless we have to be tied to this area to work we'd move somewhere else. Do you have family here? Or do you just like it? Really just curious, it sounds like you have a wonderful situation.

DH & I both grew up here & moved back from NYC & Paris once DS was born to be closer to family. We still travel a lot - maybe 2 big trips (out of country for 3-4 weeks) + 3 or 4 small trips (1-2 weeks) a year. I feel less guilty, I guess, knowing that DS has the rest of the year to hang out with his grand parents & build solid relationships. It's a pretty good life & though there are some issues that are not on topic for this thread, not too much to complain about. We're not the wealthiest people in town, but definitely not struggling. Mostly I just wanted to say that pretending you have nothing and then passing $ on is a lot for kids to handle. Even little kids can learn about smart money habits if you present it right & give them a chance to practice and make mistakes. $30k buys a LOT of Legos, but my kid won't touch any of it to spend because he knows that he'll have a few hundred more in a few months if he reinvests. He can't tell you exactly what a P/E ratio is or how to do a DuPont analysis, but he can look at a chart and compare two things. We digest the news for him but let him make the choices. If he loses $ now, it's not nearly as bad as if he were to lose everything later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I tell my child we are middle class. And we are. I make five figures, sole HHI source. I own my house (underwater, but whatever. We aren't moving). There is food in the fridge, a functional used car in the driveway, and a little put away for retirement and college. We have health insurance, coats appropriate to the weather, and a Netflix account. Honestly, in the grand scheme of things in the US (and I explain this to my son), we are positively rolling in it.

This is how I feel (I'm a PP). Place to live, clothes, food are the basics. Health Insurance and Retirement/College accounts are extras that a lot of people DON'T have. We're lucky in the grand scheme of things, even though we don't get to go on fancy trips all the time. It's easy to lose perspective in this area, but honestly, we aren't struggling. More money would always help, but we don't have to worry about paying the bills or feeding ourselves - we're doing great in comparison to many.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We are wealthy enough that neither of us need work & we live very, very comfortably on investment income. Our house isn't ostentatious, but it is in a close-in, good neighborhood. You probably wouldn't guess our net worth by looking at it.

DS will inherit a few million at 25, then the bulk of our assets when we're gone. He doesn't know about the inheritance $ yet; but having gone through this, it is not easy to walk into a sudden lump of money.

To help prepare him, he has had his own trading account since he was 5yo. Every few months, we tally up free cash in it and talk about what he wants to invest in. He's got 18 yrs to get ready to manage his own assets, so his 'little' 30k account is like a set of training wheels and he is already very aware of the power of compounding and investing. He's too busy focusing on what he's got personally to bother asking about whether we're rich or poor.

I do a lot of hands-on volunteering at a hospital that services the most underserved parts of DC and try to live by example in letting him know that having money is mostly about having the freedom to choose what you want to do with your time without having monetary constraints play a significant role in your decision. My hope is that it also demonstrates the importance of community service and will inspire him to do likewise as he gets to be old enough.

Please don't take this question the wrong way, I do mean it sincerely -- if you can afford to live well off of investments and never work again, why do you live in this area? My husband and I daydream about this scenario often and we both agree that unless we have to be tied to this area to work we'd move somewhere else. Do you have family here? Or do you just like it? Really just curious, it sounds like you have a wonderful situation.

I'm a "middle class" DC resident (really truly, in the 50%ile way, not the I only make 500K and I shop at Target way), and I always think that DC would be a fantastic place to be rich. There are so many great neighborhoods, and beautiful historic homes, and wonderful educational opportunities, and arts and sporting events. If I didn't have to deal with the rat race, and the cost of living, I can't imagine a place I'd rather live.

[Anonymous]

DH & I both grew up here & moved back from NYC & Paris once DS was born to be closer to family. We still travel a lot - maybe 2 big trips (out of country for 3-4 weeks) + 3 or 4 small trips (1-2 weeks) a year. I feel less guilty, I guess, knowing that DS has the rest of the year to hang out with his grand parents & build solid relationships. It's a pretty good life & though there are some issues that are not on topic for this thread, not too much to complain about. We're not the wealthiest people in town, but definitely not struggling. Mostly I just wanted to say that pretending you have nothing and then passing $ on is a lot for kids to handle. Even little kids can learn about smart money habits if you present it right & give them a chance to practice and make mistakes. $30k buys a LOT of Legos, but my kid won't touch any of it to spend because he knows that he'll have a few hundred more in a few months if he reinvests. He can't tell you exactly what a P/E ratio is or how to do a DuPont analysis, but he can look at a chart and compare two things. We digest the news for him but let him make the choices. If he loses $ now, it's not nearly as bad as if he were to lose everything later.

You sound like a very smart parent! Living in DC area with money is much more fun than struggling. Like Manhatten that way, but quieter.

[Anonymous]

So easy this task.

If your children go to public school, and if you don't live in Bethesda, Chevy Chase, NW, or McLean, and you don't summer anywhere, you are one of the middle class. You know, the poors.

[Anonymous]

Too much Downton Abbey on the brain this thread.