hate the sound of my baby crying

[Anonymous]

All babies will cry. It may be too early for sleep training, but even if you stop that, he will cry at times in his life. A lot. With my first, once I figured out that there will be times that nothing I do will stop their crying, things got a little easier. Then we could just concentrate on comforting rather than stopping the crying. If there is no obvious reason for the crying, we just carried them and comforted them.

[Anonymous]

OP I was the same way. I had to remind myself regularly that my getting frantic would not help my DC.

I found that consciously working on using the CALMS method for soothing really helped. It focuses on you staying calm and connecting with your baby to meet needs. Hungarian pediatrician Emmi Pikler wrote a great piece on crying that is a good reminder that ending the crying isn't the goal. Meeting the need is.

Sometimes that need is sleep. It doesn't mean you have to do Ferber or extinction, but if there's some crying involved to get everyone sleep then that's still you as a parent trying to meet a need.

[Anonymous]

10:37 again: it DOES work. I held my babies until they were drowsy or almost asleep and then put them down. For one of my little guys, I had to hold him until he fell soundly asleep. And please note, I am not a FTM....I have four (including an infant), so I know what I am talking about. Guess what? Kids sleep through the night when they are ready, so dont try to rush it by attempting to train them. Many five month olds don't sleep through the night....if he's sleeping for a five hour stretch, then count that a a win. And to the pp who said I was an idiot: I assure you that I am not. I am, however, a btdt veteran mom. If crying bothers the op, then she should pick up her baby and soothe him. This is parenting 101.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All babies will cry. It may be too early for sleep training, but even if you stop that, he will cry at times in his life. A lot. With my first, once I figured out that there will be times that nothing I do will stop their crying, things got a little easier. Then we could just concentrate on comforting rather than stopping the crying. If there is no obvious reason for the crying, we just carried them and comforted them.

Great response! We are not magicians or mind readers--but if we comfort our babies they will be getting the message that we hear them, care about them, and are there to help them. At least that is my firm belief.

I hate hearing my baby cry too, and even if I can't always immediately make her stop I can at least comfort her. My DH sees it otherwise. He'll say, "She's going to cry whether you're holding her or not." Ok, so be it. But you better believe that if she's crying, I'll be holding her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:10:37 again: it DOES work. I held my babies until they were drowsy or almost asleep and then put them down. For one of my little guys, I had to hold him until he fell soundly asleep. And please note, I am not a FTM....I have four (including an infant), so I know what I am talking about. Guess what? Kids sleep through the night when they are ready, so dont try to rush it by attempting to train them. Many five month olds don't sleep through the night....if he's sleeping for a five hour stretch, then count that a a win. And to the pp who said I was an idiot: I assure you that I am not. I am, however, a btdt veteran mom. If crying bothers the op, then she should pick up her baby and soothe him. This is parenting 101.

I'm surprised you don't realize this seeing that you have 4 kids - all kids are not the same. Some babies will fight sleep if held or while trying to cosleep and will NOT sleep that way. They will then become overtired and miserable.

You can tell the difference between a fussy I'm-tired-and-trying-to-sleep cry and a cry that indicates hunger or some other need. If fussing is how the baby falls asleep, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Wow. Just wow, pp. I have never met a baby that couldn't be soothed in my arms and would prefer to cry himself to sleep alone on his back in a crib.

[Anonymous]

I only rarely hear my baby cry - maybe once or twice per week. We have a good attachment and she feels secure and cared for. If you're leaving your child alone to scream it's no wonder they're not a happy baby. Babies do use crying to communicate but only when something is wrong. Meet their needs and there won't be any reason for baby to cry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Just wow, pp. I have never met a baby that couldn't be soothed in my arms and would prefer to cry himself to sleep alone on his back in a crib.

We're not talking a newborn. We're talking a 5-12 month old or a full grown toddler.

[Anonymous]

Op has a 5 month old, pp. I stand by my advice: pick up the crying BABY!

[Anonymous]

And I should probably add that my 2 year old was a fussy mess at a family event yesterday night, so guess what I did? I picked him up and carried him around with his head on my shoulder until he fell asleep. Picking him up solved the problem...no more fussing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. Just wow, pp. I have never met a baby that couldn't be soothed in my arms and would prefer to cry himself to sleep alone on his back in a crib.

We're not talking a newborn. We're talking a 5-12 month old or a full grown toddler.

Not either PP, but I agree with the second. There ARE babies who prefer independent sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op has a 5 month old, pp. I stand by my advice: pick up the crying BABY!

See those who are so anti-CIO on this board 1. Don't understand CIO and 2. Have never had a difficult sleeper who instead of falling asleep when being rocked or held would stay awake, become overtired, and SCREAM and sleep no longer then 10, 20, or 30 minutes at a time.

Kind of ironic, really, if you're against CIO but your method will cause some babies to become more miserable. I stand by what I said before - all babies are different and what works for some babies does not work for all babies. If CIO is used correctly and it works, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And I should probably add that my 2 year old was a fussy mess at a family event yesterday night, so guess what I did? I picked him up and carried him around with his head on my shoulder until he fell asleep. Picking him up solved the problem...no more fussing.

This has nothing to do with CIO, which is a sleep training method.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only rarely hear my baby cry - maybe once or twice per week. We have a good attachment and she feels secure and cared for. If you're leaving your child alone to scream it's no wonder they're not a happy baby. Babies do use crying to communicate but only when something is wrong. Meet their needs and there won't be any reason for baby to cry.

Ha! You only have one child right? This is not a sign of secure attachment, this is a sign of an way going baby. I wore my baby, co slept, extend bf, held her all the time and she cried all the damn time. Don't pat yourself on your back for something you didn't have control over and don't you dare think that crying babies mean they are not being attends to.

[Anonymous]

That should say "an easy going baby" above.

My dd, even now at 5 is extremely sensitive to many things environmental and otherwise, I can assure you that she was not crying because I was not taking care of her as you would.