Men raising children that are not theirs without knowing about it

[Anonymous]

Hasn't there been a DCUMer or two that used donor sperm (due to male factor infertility) without telling their husband?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hasn't there been a DCUMer or two that used donor sperm (due to male factor infertility) without telling their husband?

Well if the husbands were infertile, wouldn't that give it away pretty quickly when DW has a bun in the oven that it someone got in there (natural or not).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:True pp. I love my husband but I lust after this other man who is very different from my husband. I would never cheat but I can dream.

realizing your dreams can be very liberating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) told us in a conversation about using donor eggs that in randomized DNA studies of the general population 5% of all children are not the biological kids of the men married to their mothers in situations where those men think they are the father. This seems high to me, but he isn't a man to quote statistics lightly.

I would think it would be higher actually. I wouldn't be surprised in the future if it is higher. There's a difference between the genes you want to mate with versus which mate you feel would best provide for and raise a family. I guess it makes logical sense that women want to get knocked up by 'alpha-men' but have their children being raised in a family of a 'beta-man' that the settle down with.

Aren't you also making an argument that every man (husband or not) should be permitted to mate with as many women as he (and the women) want?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something new. They should be doing mandatory paternity testing at birth before putting a name on a birth certificate.

mandatory? even if it were reasonable (and legal) to force new mothers to submit their newborns to unnecessary tests like this, shouldn't at least the father/husband/supposed-father have a right to decide he doesn't need such a test?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something new. They should be doing mandatory paternity testing at birth before putting a name on a birth certificate.

mandatory? even if it were reasonable (and legal) to force new mothers to submit their newborns to unnecessary tests like this, shouldn't at least the father/husband/supposed-father have a right to decide he doesn't need such a test?

Given there are so many cases of it is incorrect, no. I think it should be mandatory. I have nothing to hide, so to me its a non-issue. If someone wants to do a test, go for it.

[Anonymous]

My bil put his name on the birth certificate of a child he knew wasn't his. He lied for years about it, although the family pretty much knew all along. The good thing is his now ex can not come after him for child support.

I know that sounds harsh, but that is only a small snippet of the train wreck that relationship was. He hasn't seen his "son" in 13 years now.

[Anonymous]

According to this meta study, it's about 2% of all men, and 30% who are suspicious enough to ask for a paternity test.

http://news.healingwell.com/index.php?p=news1&id=532176

[Anonymous]

In genealogy this is known as a non-paternal event.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hasn't there been a DCUMer or two that used donor sperm (due to male factor infertility) without telling their husband?

Well if the husbands were infertile, wouldn't that give it away pretty quickly when DW has a bun in the oven that it someone got in there (natural or not).

There are different levels of infertlity.

[Anonymous]

My husband is not the father of one of our children. We were not married at the child's conception and he knew from the beginning. The child is now 13 and doesn't know he isn't the biological father (we don't plan to tell).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something new. They should be doing mandatory paternity testing at birth before putting a name on a birth certificate.

mandatory? even if it were reasonable (and legal) to force new mothers to submit their newborns to unnecessary tests like this, shouldn't at least the father/husband/supposed-father have a right to decide he doesn't need such a test?

The military acts on this suspicion by mandating rhogam shots to every mother. I had to fight so hard to not be subjected to it. I told the OB that we were high school sweethearts and that there was no way I could fool anyone, since we are two different races and it would be obvious I was right, but they refused to back off. I was so naive at the time, it took me a while to realize that they did not trust that the father was who I said it was, period.

[Anonymous]

This is why society was so strict with women's sexuality for so long. No man could ever really be sure that the child he was raising was his own, could he?

I don't know about mandatory tests, but any man in doubt should have one done. Probably don't tell the mom though. Just piss her off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No mandatory tests, this is evolution at work.

What do you mean?

There was a study done years ago that showed that these cases often occur when the mother sees her husband as unfit in some abstract way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This isn't something new. They should be doing mandatory paternity testing at birth before putting a name on a birth certificate.

mandatory? even if it were reasonable (and legal) to force new mothers to submit their newborns to unnecessary tests like this, shouldn't at least the father/husband/supposed-father have a right to decide he doesn't need such a test?

Given there are so many cases of it is incorrect, no. I think it should be mandatory. I have nothing to hide, so to me its a non-issue. If someone wants to do a test, go for it.

You're missing the point. If the father wants to accept paternity, why should the government mandate a test? I'm so far to the left my college friends used to call me a pinko, but that seems crazy even to me.