How do I express to close friends and family not to share utensils with my toddler?

[Anonymous]

OP, please be careful about this. You don't want your child to never get invited to play dates or birthday parties because people don't want to deal with all of the hoops you make them jump through. If you make this an issue people may just stop hanging around you. I think there are reasonable situations where you can speak up but when you have a young child you really have to choose your battles. You need to be reasonable.

[Anonymous]

When my grandmother shares a fork with my toddler, I'm not worried about him - he's a germ factory. She's the one with the delicate immune system. But she's also an adult and presumably knows toddlers are disgusting, so I let it go.

Oh, and I presume you know that your toddler is eating way grosser stuff when you're not looking.

[Anonymous]

OP, first, why on earth are you allowing your 18 month old to be passed around at restaurants. Your child should be sitting in a booster seat of some sort during a meal. You are going to end up with a child who doesn't sit when you go out. My kids sat. If they were antsy someone took them up front or outside. As for the sharing utensils. It grosses me out. I will admit that. I hate it and I won't share utensils with anyone (kids or DH). However, it's my issue. My kids are not going to die from sharing a utensil with a family member. I do put a stop to it if someone is sick though.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm going to side with you. My dentist told me people should not share utensils and cups with young children because we introduce bacteria from our mouths into their's. My husband thought it was just me being a germaphobe, but my father is an oral surgeon and he always told us to not share utensils. Well, fast forward to when I have a child, and my husband is poking fun at me for my policy in front of friends. My friend's sister, who is a dentist, jumps in and says I'm actually right. It can result in cavities in children who wouldn't otherwise get them.

[Anonymous]

Trying to guard your children from foreign bacteria just ensures that their immune systems will be weak.

So you'll achieve your goal of having a sickly kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I knew I would get reamed for this -- I never should have posted!

I have the same concern because adults have cold sores and adults spread bacteria that causes cavities.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/35989527/ns/health-oral_health/t/moms-kiss-can-spread-cavities-baby/

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP, but there is no nice way to tell people they are dirty and germ-ridden and you don't dare expose your child to them.

[Anonymous]

I have the same concerns as OP, but haven't done much about it. Mostly just will reinforce that "we ALL need to go wash our hands now" before dinner. My DH and I always make a point to wash our hands before eating, even when we are out. Sometimes we snag a relative too when we ask them to "help". And I try to limit the amount of time that they are sitting with someone else while that person is eating. Or if my LOs move to sit with them, I'll move over their plate/utensils as well.

I'm getting over my germophobia slowly, especially with my side of the family, but I absolutely won't let MIL share foods/utensils with LOs because she gets cold sores. Herpes - so gross!!

[Anonymous]

Your options are a blanket statement or not to pass him around. I don't see any other way out.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's unreasonable to ask people not to feed your kid without asking you first (which is one issue with someone just grabbing a communal spoon and using it) or to expect people not to use communal utensils. I would never presume to put my spoon in someone else's baby's mouth - don't understand why all of the rude responses you're getting. Maybe just don't pass the baby around during meals?

[Anonymous]

SAHM, yes?

[Anonymous]

I'm with you, OP. It's kinda gross. Not sure what I'd doin your shoes, though!

Hey, 13:48: why the bitchy jab at SAH moms? If you're sour about your own circumstances, don't dump on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Seek counseling before you damage your child.

Actually, it is not healthy to be sharin gutensils with a child. There are germs/flora/ whatever in an adult's mouth which hastens gum disease which are not naturally occuring in small child. I don;t share utensils with my own child so I'll be damn if someone else does that. OP, just say in a very sweet voice "Oh, he has to eat with his own utensils or I don't allow him to eat from others utensils." "Please don't feed him with your fingers." If they obejct, oh well, Your child, your rules.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SAHM, yes?

I'm not the OP but no, I don't stay at home. I work a lot of hours but that still doesn't mitigate the fact that what the relatives are doing is gross. What does SAHm have to do with ANYTHING?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Trying to guard your children from foreign bacteria just ensures that their immune systems will be weak.

So you'll achieve your goal of having a sickly kid.

There is a difference between healthy exposure and disgusting.