question for moms who have to deal with a stepmom in their kids' lives...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, as a mother, I'd rather miss a day of work to be with my child than have her step mother bring my child to work. Yes, I find that odd.

Thanks for putting it so simply. That's how I feel too, and I guess I just didn't ask it very well or something.

[Anonymous]

Please, OP, send this thread to your husband's ex. I'm sure she'll find other arrangements. I'd rather lose my job that leave my child with someone who so obviously resents her stepchild.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please, OP, send this thread to your husband's ex. I'm sure she'll find other arrangements. I'd rather lose my job that leave my child with someone who so obviously resents her stepchild.

So weird people are reading it this way. Seems to me she cares about the kid, trying to have her stay with bio-mom, because what kid wants to sit in a friggin office all day?

[Anonymous]

So weird people are reading it this way. Seems to me she cares about the kid, trying to have her stay with bio-mom, because what kid wants to sit in a friggin office all day?

Precisely where is the evidence she cares about the kid?? All the OP keeps posting is that she would do better by HER children and that it's such a hassle to have to deal with this child when she has childcare for her OWN children. Sounds like someone who is way more interested in putting down her predecessor, maybe with good reason maybe not... but certainly not someone who has the slightest interest in the child.

PS OP - the stepchild IS one of your children.

[Anonymous]

If she asked you to help out, I'm betting she doesn't have any leave left or is saving it for a vacation with her child. Unlike you, she likely has s workplace environment that frowns on bringing children in, even in an emergency.

Could she have asked you bc she knows your other 2 kid's are in childcare and she might have thought you could leave the 7 yr old with them? (if it's a nanny, for instance)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:To answer your question, as a mother, I'd rather miss a day of work to be with my child than have her step mother bring my child to work. Yes, I find that odd.

Yes, me too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

So weird people are reading it this way. Seems to me she cares about the kid, trying to have her stay with bio-mom, because what kid wants to sit in a friggin office all day?

Precisely where is the evidence she cares about the kid?? All the OP keeps posting is that she would do better by HER children and that it's such a hassle to have to deal with this child when she has childcare for her OWN children. Sounds like someone who is way more interested in putting down her predecessor, maybe with good reason maybe not... but certainly not someone who has the slightest interest in the child.

PS OP - the stepchild IS one of your children.

I don't read it that way but possibly because it's not a hassle for me to take my kids to the office. And I do when necessary. But it's never fun for the kids. I see this situation as less-then-ideal for the child and the step mom wondering why the bio mom isn't trying to avoid it.

[Anonymous]

OP, in the future, you could tell her you can't take the child to work but you'd be happy to split the cost of a nanny/sitter. Her house or yours.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you want to do somebody a favor, do it because you're happy to do it, not because you want them to owe you or have to thank you or acknowledge how great of a person you are. Not to sound all Christian, but do favors with joy and love in your heart.

If you will get in trouble or be looked badly upon at work for bringing a child to work, then call the mom and tell her you can take the daughter Mon & Tues, but won't be able to take her Wed-Fri due to work commitments. She'll have to work it out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Appreciate the comments, good and bad. I do care about her (stepdaughter). Yes my husband does appreciate all I do for his daughter. It is actually the mom's week to have the daughter but she didn't plan ahead to get child care for the week. So I do feel like free child care, which I am happy to do for my stepdaughter but I wish her mother would at least say, "hey, thanks for taking her into your office today." And as a mom myself, I just think it's odd that she wouldn't move heaven and earth to figure something else out.

I was a pp, but since it is supposed to be the mom's custody week, I think she's being irresponsible by not planning properly for her child's care. She should apologize for inconveniencing you at the last minute and thank you.

[Anonymous]

Some moms would rather spite another woman than think about their kids' wellbeing
It's that Simple, there's nothing else to it.

[Anonymous]

Why not hire a babysitter? You can afford it, what's the big deal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

Appreciate the comments, good and bad. I do care about her (stepdaughter). Yes my husband does appreciate all I do for his daughter. It is actually the mom's week to have the daughter but she didn't plan ahead to get child care for the week. So I do feel like free child care, which I am happy to do for my stepdaughter but I wish her mother would at least say, "hey, thanks for taking her into your office today." And as a mom myself, I just think it's odd that she wouldn't move heaven and earth to figure something else out.

If it is mom's week, she needs to pay/provide child care or take her to her office. That's a bit unreasonable.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a nice step mom. I bet your SD will have great memories of you taking her to work with her. I would take advantage of the mother letting you spend so much time with her.

[Anonymous]

As a stepdaughter, refraining from calling your husband's daughter "the girl" would be a huge step in the right direction.