Are scholarship kids treated different at top privates?

[Anonymous]

Wow. I guess scholarship kids should only go to public school. Why offer aid if it's bs with receiving it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I guess scholarship kids should only go to public school. Why offer aid if it's bs with receiving it?

I would rather put up with the bs and not deal with dcps. College admission is the focus.

[Anonymous]

Based on some rather unfortunate direct observation, the answer is yes. Many private schools in the area take the position that they're not subject to FERPA/Buckley. At these schools, it's commonly known who is on financial aid. We understand that one school basically permitted a large donor to force a financial aid award (received by a disfavored student) down. We have seen the schoolyard attention become especially ugly in middle school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I guess scholarship kids should only go to public school. Why offer aid if it's bs with receiving it?

I would rather put up with the bs and not deal with dcps. College admission is the focus.

I agree that (some) pain is worth it to escape (some) dcps schools. But you say "I" not "we." It's your DC, not you, who is going to have to endure a number of years of (some) discrimination for the goal of the long-range college plan. You can get to good colleges doing a dcps lottery to a good dcps school, or moving to the burbs. So is your DC on board with the private school bs?

[Anonymous]

The teachers don't treat kids differently. Yes, there are issues with the fact that there is a lot of wealth floating around and even the best kids can get sick of hearing about everyone's fancy vacations. But the education is great and they make great and real friends through school, sports and music. Talk to real people if you have a concern over whether it would be worth it. If you have a solid public school option or don't want the sports or arts elements, the answer may be no. But don't just buy into assumptions from an anonymous board.

[Anonymous]

To add to this post -- we got financial aid at an excellent area private school. DC got great coaching in the relevant sport and really strong academics, as well as some opportunities to travel through school with financial aid. The college counseling was great for us -- we'd never even considered a service academy as an option and once they put it on our radar (so to speak) DC was excited about it and is thriving. Many of DC's teachers wrote to DC during the academy's version of basic training when they are cut off from all electronics and phones. DC is grateful to the school and so are we! The occasional mom in jodhpurs making a somewhat condescending remark (probably because I'm blissfully frumpy lol, as opposed to money) didn't outweigh all the positives (including a lot of interesting and funny parents).

[Anonymous]

DC is still in elementary, and ours isn't a fancy school, so maybe that accounts for it, but I can't see any difference. Most kids wear Target play clothes to school, and there are only a few parents that I can clearly see are wealthy - and they also seem like nice people. People have offered that they get FA, but no one talks about it in the presence of kids. I don't even know if my friends' kids know what FA is. And it is a non-issue for teachers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I guess scholarship kids should only go to public school. Why offer aid if it's bs with receiving it?

I would rather put up with the bs and not deal with dcps. College admission is the focus.

I agree that (some) pain is worth it to escape (some) dcps schools. But you say "I" not "we." It's your DC, not you, who is going to have to endure a number of years of (some) discrimination for the goal of the long-range college plan. You can get to good colleges doing a dcps lottery to a good dcps school, or moving to the burbs. So is your DC on board with the private school bs?

Yes, of course, my DC is on board with staying at the private school otherwise she wouldn't be there. In a few short years she will graduate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The teachers don't treat kids differently. Yes, there are issues with the fact that there is a lot of wealth floating around and even the best kids can get sick of hearing about everyone's fancy vacations. But the education is great and they make great and real friends through school, sports and music. Talk to real people if you have a concern over whether it would be worth it. If you have a solid public school option or don't want the sports or arts elements, the answer may be no. But don't just buy into assumptions from an anonymous board.

Yes, I agree talk to some real parents who you sense you may identify with, this PP certainly speaks for everyone. OP, is there some reason why you are even posing this question?

[Anonymous]

Hmm... my kids don't even know that we get FA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

The parents are more interested in a child's FA status than the kids. Some of the kids share that they receive FA at DD's school. As for teachers and admin, they will make assumptions about your FA status (if they guess that you are receiving substantial aid) and may slip and allude to it when no one else is around in the name of being helpful. Wealthier parents are tended to with added effort and interest. Also, as a recipient of substantial FA good chance that your kid will not be placed with the "best" teachers. And, your child's intellectual ability may be chronically questioned due to your lower socio-economic status.

I agree with 6:45 completely and that was our experience at a school. They assumed we were on aid. I could tell that later on they realized that we were not and they often stated things about how they realize that we have a choice at schooling and that how we are paying tuition and should feel confident in the quality of education that we were receiving. They starting bringing up the fact that we were paying tuition either we stated our desire to leave the school. They eventually started concentrating on what they school could do for us vs. how my kid needed help with this or that or how my kid was not keeping up with his appears.

That's funny; we have had almost the opposite experience. We are not on FA, but apparently others think we are. At various times, other parents will make comments that seem to assume we are on FA, and I can recall one teacher making a similar comment. I did not find any of the comments offensive at all. I also have not noticed any less attention from the administration or teachers for my children. They've gotten the "best" teachers more than half the time when grades are set up, and the teachers have all spoken positively about their abilities.

Perhaps we have just been fortunate to be around nice people. I'd guess some individual people are respectful, and others might not be. It seems a mistake to assume all people in any one school will act similarly. Also, how you perceive comments from other people may depend a lot on how prone you are to taking offense. Some people are more sensitive than others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmm... my kids don't even know that we get FA.

Mine learned about FA during the middle school years. Some of the kids said that they received it and then went around asking other kids. I've also heard nasty comments from other parents during the annual giving campaign who have to make calls to those parents for a "generous" gift of $50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hmm... my kids don't even know that we get FA.

Mine learned about FA during the middle school years. Some of the kids said that they received it and then went around asking other kids. I've also heard nasty comments from other parents during the annual giving campaign who have to make calls to those parents for a "generous" gift of $50.

My kids are in middle school. They have no issues. I would be feel I was being remiss if all I gave was $50 for all that I receive. But snarky people are everywhere - I don't think you can get away from that.

[Anonymous]

My son is in elementary school - his actual schooling is (to my knowledge) in no way affected by his FAS status. But his peers and their parents know it. We live in a tiny apartment and don't travel and drive an extremely inexpensive car. But I don't think my son's experience at school has been altered other than some awkward conversations with him about why we don't live in the neighborhood where a lot of his friends live.

[Anonymous]

FA Family here . . .

I do not think DC has been treated differently because of aid. DC has always had really good teachers some would probably say the cream of the crop in the building. I'm not sure this is attributed to FA status or the fact that DH and I are extremely involved when it comes to understanding DC progress.

I do think DC suffers when it comes to hanging out with friends during special get togethers like a day of golf, fantasy football, or even when parents plan to send children to camps. I think it's because they feel that we can not afford it or because we do not live in the same neighborhood. This really irritates me because I often times will see the disappointment on DCs face when the others are talking and sharing. Sometimes I just would they'd ask DC to participate rather than assuming we can not afford the activity. In many cases we have family that assist with tuition cost as well as extra-curriculars to ensure DC has the same opportunities as other families.

We accepted FA because we do not have been able to give DC this opportunity otherwise. DC is doing very well is super confident and has a wealth of schema because of his educational opportunity. DC is not aware that aid is provided to cover tuition. However, we are very forthcoming about the fact that his education is not free and that he should value it. The bar is set very high and we expect DC and the school to work with us to ensure success!!

One thing that is very annoying though is when you attend the Scholarship Auction and it is continously stated "We are here this evening to give a such and such education to a desiring child that would otherwise not be able to attend such and such school. Yes, that is why we are here but isn't the purpose of the auction to bring diversity to the school as well. I know many FA recipents who work hard to ensure the acution is a success . . . It's there way of giving back .