How do I deal with social situations before I tell my friends I'm pregnant?

[Anonymous]

By the way, a glass or two of wine occasionally has not been found to be harmful to a fetus.

http://news.discovery.com/human/alcohol-drinking-pregnant-women.html

"The study, which found no evidence of harm from having a couple drinks a week during pregnancy, was so well done and its findings so conclusive that it ought to become the final word in the field, said Fred Bookstein, an applied statistician who studies fetal alcohol spectrum disorders at both the University of Washington, Seattle, and the University of Vienna."

"A drink was defined as a small glass of wine, a half-pint of beer or a single serving of hard alcohol."

""I tell my daughters not to worry about a drink a day, but don't ever get drunk and be aware that after the second drink, you're not going to be able to count," Bookstein said. "There's just no evidence that a drink a day is causing any damage.""

Interestingly, it said that those moms who drank a glass or two per week actually had better outcomes, particularly with 3-year-old boy's language development.

Go figure.

(Before you criticize this posting, please read the entire article. It is surprising and has some twists & turns.)

[Anonymous]

Go, eat fondue, order a drink other than wine, most people won't comment, even if they suspect. But these are your friends, is it the worst thing if they find out?

[Anonymous]

No one believes the antiobiotic excuse anymore. Every doctor I've had as said it is okay to drink on antibiotics.

[Anonymous]

BTW folks, unpasteurized cheese that is heated will kill the germs you are worried about. Heating is what pasteurization is.

[Anonymous]

if the cheese is cooked, that would kill the listeria I would think. but if you aren't going to eat cheese or drink wine I'd probably just skip it.

[Anonymous]

Like everyone else said, you'll be fine with the cheese - it's heated and unlikely they would use unpasterized cheese. For the wine thing - my friends would see through me not drinking pretty fast, even with the antibotic excuse. I used to said that I indulged a bit too much the night before and needed a night off from drinking - I rarely hung out with the same people 2 nights in a row. They bought that excuse.

[Anonymous]

Hi OP - Get this: I am *hosting* an Oscars Wine and Cheese party for some girlfriends...clearly planned before I got the big news. I'm just going to pour some apple juice in a wine glass before folks come for my very own "mocktail." (mocktail: Is there a stupider word?).

At any rate, I'm overjoyed to be pregnant with our 2nd and if some nosy Sherlock figures it out...so be it.

Cheers!

[Anonymous]

For the cheese, if you are uncomfortable, I would call the restaurant now, and ask them if their cheese is pasturized. That way you won't have to ask when you are there and it could be all the worry about the cheese is for nothing. As for the alcohol, to the poster who said drinking is fine, I think some wine is fine later in pregnancy, but I would not have any in the first trimester. Honestly, I have become a hermit in first trimester but if it was something I really wanted to attend I would just make an excuse about why I wasn't drinking. You could claim you got food poisoning the day before, and your stomach still isn't great, so you are not eating heavy foods (cheese) or drinking because you're not feeling well still.

[Anonymous]

How about "I gave up drinking for Lent this year"? Its the only reason my girlfreinds would let me off - good luck op!

[Anonymous]

OP. I didn't even think that listeria would be cooked off with heat. Thanks!

To the previous poster, I'm Jewish. I don't think that "I gave up alcohol for lent" will fly. Thanks for trying to help, though!

[Anonymous]

How about-- I took tylenol for a headache and so I can't have wine. Have you heard how dangerous it is to mix wine and tylenol???

[Anonymous]

Or say you took benadryl for allergies or hives.

[Anonymous]

[/b]

Anonymous wrote:A good friends is having a wine and fondue birthday party when I'll be 10 weeks pregnant. DH and I decided not to tell anyone we're expecting until I'm 12 weeks. The party is at a sit down restaurant, so I can't simply not eat or drink. Should I just make an excuse as to why I can't go? Everyone will know something is up if I turn down both the wine AND the fondue (yes, [b]the fondue will also have alcohol in it)...any other ideas?

The alcohol will have cooked down and only the flavor will remain. Stay home and don't go because it will be obvious immediately and guessing that you're pregnant will take away from the birthday person and his/her party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[/b]

Anonymous wrote:A good friends is having a wine and fondue birthday party when I'll be 10 weeks pregnant. DH and I decided not to tell anyone we're expecting until I'm 12 weeks. The party is at a sit down restaurant, so I can't simply not eat or drink. Should I just make an excuse as to why I can't go? Everyone will know something is up if I turn down both the wine AND the fondue (yes, [b]the fondue will also have alcohol in it)...any other ideas?

The alcohol will have cooked down and only the flavor will remain. Stay home and don't go because it will be obvious immediately and guessing that you're pregnant will take away from the birthday person and his/her party.

No, there will still be some alcohol, but there is about 1 cup of wine starting out for a serving appropriate for 6 adults. I'm guessing with some (not all) of the alcohol cooked away and sharing the fondue, you'll consume the equivalent of 1 tsp or 1 TBS of wine. Not worth worrying about. The calcium from the cheese and the seretonins from the starch and the good company will be good for you and the baby. Enjoy, don't worry. (Stress is bad for you and the baby!)

[Anonymous]

I would go and eat the fondue and order wine but don't drink it. You can take an occasional mini or non-sip. I used to do this and no one noticed that I wasn't really drinking it.