What's the worst thing someone you date/d or are married to has ever said to you?

[Anonymous]

OP- if he brings back that statement and horrible feeling- it's not worth it to remain "friends"- I mean, is he going to be your buddy when you have grandchildren? I doubt it. Just cut the chord and try to forget about him and how he was disrespectful.. You don't need to explain.. Just say you're busy.. don't get the phone.. take longer writing back to say "you're busy" via email.. and eventually just stop replying. Few exes remain friends and this one sounds like not an ex that should remain one honestly..

[Anonymous]

PP here.. some typos but I meant "cord".. lol!

[Anonymous]

My experience is a little different from PPs as I'm still married to my DH who, two years ago, when we were still in the throes of post-baby blues, had numerous small-ish medical issues. Of course we were worried about all of them before we got a diagnosis, but the one I worried about the most were his head/neck pains. (There's a LOT of cancer in his family tree.)

Before he got them checked, he said "If it's serious I don't want to fight it."

(Turns out that all the issues were somewhat stress-related. We had a very tough time with our first child. Issues went away with meds & physical therapy.)

But in the 15 years I've known & loved this man, this was the most hurtful thing he's ever said to me. Though I don't hold it against him too much because that first year of our son's life was pretty bad, and I can't blame him for looking forward to some peace & rest! Though it really hurt to think that he at that moment didn't love us enough to want to be healthy & whole & there for us.

[Anonymous]

To 13:06: Wow. The only thing I can imagine is that he was processing the possibility through the lens of every memory he's had of family members with cancer. I guess I wouldn't hold it against him that that's his frame of reference. I would trust that when the reality of a cancer diagnosis hit, he would realize what it meant in his life now and want to fight for all he's worth to stay alive for you and your child. If cancer has been rampant in his family, I'm sure he's imagined the possibility and his reaction for years. What he expressed in that moment was probably his established/habitual reaction and not a thoughtful reflection of his life now.

I think in that first year with a child, it can take awhile before we internalize the new reality of our lives.

Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

"I am not charmed by you anymore". my husband told me that around our 1 year anniversary. we separated before our 2nd year anniversary. I left him. But it still brings tears to my eyes for some reason.

[Anonymous]

20:56 I am so sorry.. I wonder if my DH is secretly thinking that.. no doubt the spark is gone and we are in survival mode with two babies.. I am sorry though..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I am not charmed by you anymore". my husband told me that around our 1 year anniversary. we separated before our 2nd year anniversary. I left him. But it still brings tears to my eyes for some reason.

I know that it must hurt because you were earnest and he was not.
He's just mean, I am sorry about your bad luck.

[Anonymous]

My first sex partner (boyfriend) said that he really missed his previous girlfriend right after having sex with me. He then asked me to turn around while he got dressed because he did not want me to see him naked. I felt used, it meant so much to me.

[Anonymous]

My husband told me to grow up when I cried and screamed the day after I lost a baby.

[Anonymous]

This is all painful to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me to grow up when I cried and screamed the day after I lost a baby.

Sorry I would have found that very difficult to forgive.

[Anonymous]

My mother has always made it a point of telling me what a loser she thinks I am. The worst was at 15, she told me "You are nothing and you will always be nothing"

So much for a mother's unconditional love.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother has always made it a point of telling me what a loser she thinks I am. The worst was at 15, she told me "You are nothing and you will always be nothing"

So much for a mother's unconditional love.

Your Mother is a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Why are we talking about this? The last thing I want to think about now is all the horrible things that people have said to me in my lifetime. We are living new lives, let the old one go. Those people don't matter anymore. Cut them out of your life like a cancer, since that is what they are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband told me to grow up when I cried and screamed the day after I lost a baby.

Sorry I would have found that very difficult to forgive.

We have had $10K of marriage counseling. We'll see.