| I have a daughter that hits I spanked, I did time out, write sentences, ground them etc. still nothing she is 7 and I am at a loss |
I also agree that the "logical consequences" theory is BS. But spanking is not necessary. Kids are not perfect. This doesn't mean your DS is going to hit someone when he is a teenager. He did a bad thing and needs whatever punishment you usually dish out, if that's how you handle misbehavior. |
Try "bribes and rewards" which have fallen out of favor. Each kid is different and she may respond better to earning a reward of some kind than she does to punishments. Works for one of my kids. Tell her if she doesn't hit for a month, she gets something she really wants (a toy etc). |
| You could say to him the next time he asks you to do something, "I am feeling so tired from being hit by you. I don't have the energy to play with you right now." |
Banishment to his room. |
| If you have to think this hard, how could the consequence be logical or natural? |
Spare the rod and spoil the child. |
+1 OP, you're taking this parenting new ageism to ridiculous lengths. |
| To PPs, how is taking something away from a child a "logical" consequence to his hitting? The two are completely unrelated. |
+10000 many of the "logical consequence" parents end up with rude, entitled, disrepectful bratty kids. seriously, nip it in the bud immediately with a swat back. you want your child to pause the next time and remember what happened last time!! |
The kid is seven, not three or four. The kid is too old for this type of timeoit as a punishment. That is how you discipline a toddler, not a seven year old. |
A reward for jot hitting? For a seven year old? Now I have heard it all. |
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Why was the child hitting you? What did the child want that she did not receive? A -logical- consequence would be to NOT receive that thing, for a memorative (not abusive) amount of time. "Memorative" and "logical" depend on context -hit me because of saying to put away video game = no video game system for a week (or month, .etc) with an explanation each and every day that you lost game system because we do not hit in this family, and hitting will make things important to you go away. Best if you explain this rule -before- the negative consequence, so that eventually the kid will understand (with your consistent example and clear explanation), that hitting will do nothing good for you, and things you love will go away.
If an adult punches an adult in the USA, the -logical consequence- is a legal action and probably a punitive measure, NOT to let them both punch each other until one or both pugilists die.
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Great. So what does the kid learn? Oh.. if I want something, I'll just act up then start to behave. Mommy always gets me something. WTF? Fine for things like doing well in school or something, but hitting? Nope. My kids have never hit me, *ever*. And I have spanked them a handful of times, mostly for talking to me disrespectfully when they were in ES. For the first offence, I would take away a privilege. Second offence, I think my natural consequence to my 7 yr old hitting me would've been to spank him. |
| Forget about consequences for a moment -- teach a better way to express anger and frustration. Your DC is telling you he's angry and frustrated and doesn't know what else to do with those feelings. Tell him he may not hit you or anyone, but he can ____ (stomp his feet, punch his palm, take a deep breath, whatever works for him). Give him a chance to learn the new behavior and then spell out the consequences for not handling his anger in the way your taught him. Then follow through with the consequence. |