Expecting too much from K (and school)?

[Anonymous]

I know you haven't asked about skipping a grade, but in my child's class it is obvious who are the youngest kids in the class, and these kids are just summer birthdays. I would hate the idea of a 5 yo being in 1st grade with 6 and 7 yo's. It is clear that the younger kids have more trouble socially even when there is only a year's difference. I would think carefully if you consider that option.

Maybe you should homeschool? It certainly doesn't seem like public school is going to work for you based on your posts. I know several families who homeschool, and it seems to work for them.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP. You sound like you already believe that your daughter is a genius. Pull her out of school and teach her with all of the wonderful materials you claim you already have. Then, when she doesn't have any friends, doesn't know how to get along with people and feels left out of the rest of the social world, THEN she can go back to school and "be challenged."

[Anonymous]

I am PP kindergartenteacher. A few things

#1. As the pp asked ... when is your DDs birthday?

#2. You obviously did not follow my post regarding how skilled teachers DO notice the advanced levels and challenge them throughout the day.

#3 based on your posts I feel al though you would not be happy with any answer besides " yes! Your child is extraordinary! Way beyond our school... Please PLEASE take her to a gt center immediately her intelligence is more than we can take! "

You seem to have excuses for every point I made and already have your mind made up that this school will not live up to your standards. Its also clear that other educators have had similar responses to your questions which you blow off. I can promise you I nor any other teacher goes into the first day judging children and keeping that judgement in tact the entire school year. Assuming that is giving zero respect for the professionals who are working so hard to help your child achieve their personal best.

I commend you for being proactive in your children's school career but if you have already written off this school and teachr assuming They are not also doing what's best for your daughter I agree with the pp and suggest homeschooling since its clear no one else could possibly be able to see DD as you do.

Please relax until at least school actually starts.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a wonderful teacher, but honestly I hope that DC gets a K teacher with a little more of an open mind

OP, how open is your mind to the possibility that your very bright child is nonetheless the sort of student her teacher has seen before and will be able to cope with just fine?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know you haven't asked about skipping a grade, but in my child's class it is obvious who are the youngest kids in the class, and these kids are just summer birthdays. I would hate the idea of a 5 yo being in 1st grade with 6 and 7 yo's. It is clear that the younger kids have more trouble socially even when there is only a year's difference. I would think carefully if you consider that option.

Maybe you should homeschool? It certainly doesn't seem like public school is going to work for you based on your posts. I know several families who homeschool, and it seems to work for them.

Thank you for your advice. I'm not sure I would be comfortable with her skipping a grade either specifically at this stage. She will be right in the middle of the pack by birthday, so I would prefer that she stay in K.

Homeschooling wouldn't be an option for us. I am the primary bread winner and we only live in this area because my job brought us here. I also don't think my DH would be suited for homeschooling either. But I appreciate the suggestion. My mom homeschool my (much younger than me) siblings and it worked out great for them.

[Anonymous]

Check out Nysmith School or Eldin or Montessour. Also, I thing the suggestions to consider homeschooling are genuine. It's hard to get tailor-made education anywhere, but certainly hard to do so in public school. If you go ahead with public K you will meet other kids like yours and other parents like you. Just last week I was challenged by a 4 year old at the pool to name any date (say, April 14, 1946) and he could tell me what day of the week the date fell on. A 5 yo neighbor could identify any foreign country, its leader, currency and capitol. I'm just saying that these kids exist and you'll see them in you daughter's kindergarten class. They'll all go to TJ together and all get into UVA -- it will all be awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with PP. You sound like you already believe that your daughter is a genius. Pull her out of school and teach her with all of the wonderful materials you claim you already have. Then, when she doesn't have any friends, doesn't know how to get along with people and feels left out of the rest of the social world, THEN she can go back to school and "be challenged."

I'm not sure how you agree with pp because she presented an option in a polite and constructive manner. You sound bitter and quite ingnorant. First, I never said she was a genius. I actually do not believe she is anywhere near genius level. I stated several times that she has a thirst for learning and I just want appropriate learning opportunities to be presented to her throughout the school day as I am sure you would like for your DC. When my youngest goes to school I would like the same for him which I believe will be more on the level that is typical for K.

I never claimed to have wonderful materials at home. I'm not sure what you are referring to.

You are also very ignorant about homeschooling if that is what you mean by "when she doesn't have any friends, doesn't know how to get along with people and feels left out of the rest of the social world". What an insult to homeschoolers! While this is not an option for us, my mom (who only had a high school diploma) homeschooled my siblings due to the poor school system from my hometown and they had/have many friends, know how to get along with people, and have NEVER felt left out. Not all homeschoolers live in rural, secluded parts of the country. I was raised in a high class popular beach resort area that has a large homeschooling community that you would never know about.

Do some research before getting so worked up over a topic you know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Defensive much, OP?

By the way, you went to see the "princiPAL" not the "princiPLE"

We know who got the brains in your family...

[Anonymous]

OP, there's nothing wrong with being proud of having a smart child, and it is good that you are thinking so much of her best interests, but if I were you I would really think hard about what the Fairfax teacher wrote. And I say this as one who, many years ago, could have been your DD. (Read at 2, could draw a freehand map of the states at 6, etc.).

Could I have done more advanced work than the rest of my class when I was in kindergarten and afterwards? Sure. Would that have been a good idea? Hell, no.

You seem to be fixated on the notion that the main function of kindergarten is to pump knowledge into the kids' brains. That wasn't the case for me and I doubt it's the case for anyone. As the teacher posted earlier, kids are sponges and they are learning constantly, in and out of the classroom. And they are essentially all autodidacts-- they know what they know not because a teacher is spoon-feeding it to them, but because they find it interesting and want to learn for themselves. So I wouldn't worry that your DD's brain will rot if she has to be surrounded by kids who started reading later than she did. If their work is too easy for her, she'll find something else to keep her attention. And as PP said, don't worry if she comes back and says that all she did was play-- it's all learning, whether she knows it or not.

What a good kindergarten does do is give you the social skills to learn successfully in the future-- working with others, delaying gratification, following a schedule, responding to direction, and above all making friends. And don't overlook this last one. Trust me from personal experience-- she will suffer a heavy price, socially and emotionally, from being in a room with older kids rather than less academically advanced kids her own age.

And I say this as a person who is a huge believe in pushing kids hard academically. Just realize that you have 19 more years to do this. Worry about her acquiring the basic classroom/ social skills now, and let the advanced math classes wait till later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am PP kindergartenteacher. A few things

#1. As the pp asked ... when is your DDs birthday?

#2. You obviously did not follow my post regarding how skilled teachers DO notice the advanced levels and challenge them throughout the day.

#3 based on your posts I feel al though you would not be happy with any answer besides " yes! Your child is extraordinary! Way beyond our school... Please PLEASE take her to a gt center immediately her intelligence is more than we can take! "

You seem to have excuses for every point I made and already have your mind made up that this school will not live up to your standards. Its also clear that other educators have had similar responses to your questions which you blow off. I can promise you I nor any other teacher goes into the first day judging children and keeping that judgement in tact the entire school year. Assuming that is giving zero respect for the professionals who are working so hard to help your child achieve their personal best.

I commend you for being proactive in your children's school career but if you have already written off this school and teachr assuming They are not also doing what's best for your daughter I agree with the pp and suggest homeschooling since its clear no one else could possibly be able to see DD as you do.

Please relax until at least school actually starts.

1. winter birthday - will be in the middle of the pack (why does this matter if I'm not asking about skipping grades)
2. I did follow your post about how you *believe* skilled teachers will notice advanced students and challenge them. Did you follow my post about how I have had the opposite experience thus far at the preschool level (admitedly a limited experience, but still my experience with a teacher who listed the same credentials as you)? Also, my post about the principals description and my only understanding of a plan for differentiation is to go to his office every once in awhile and read with him. This doesn't seem like they have a plan to meet alll kids with different levels of learning.
3. I'm sorry that you feel that way from my posts. If you knew me and read a little more carefully you would see that I said that what I would happy with is knowing that the school (that particular school) had a PLAN to differentiate work (IF necessary) while still keeping her in K. I stated that what I see as viable choices are to pull her out to higher grade classes for certain subjects (reading, math) OR provide her with appropriate level work within her K classroom. I never said and don't feel the need for me to be valiadated and told she is a genius or so advanced they don't know what to do with her. I DO however expect that they will acknowledge her needs and provide for them appropriately unlike my experience with her preschool. My conversation with the princlipal did not give me the impression that a plan was in place for kids of all different levels in K.

I'm sorry that you feel my opinions and experiences are excuses and not as valid as yours. I don't believe anything about my concerns involve teachers judgements. I feel it's whether or not the school is open or will meet my DC's needs in the school setting. Her current preschool teacher wanted to give her more challenging work, but the director would not let her. I am concerned this will be the same in K.

Again, I'll state (since you keep repeating this point), I'm not as worried about the teacher recognizing the different learning styles, abilities, or levels of the DC in the K class but more about their plan or ability to do something about it. Based on the principals example of differentiation in K reading I don't feel it's adequate.

Btw, I'm not tense over the situation so no need to relax. Simply trying to determine if the school really are equipped and empowered to povide the differentiation that I feel DC may need.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

You sound like a wonderful teacher, but honestly I hope that DC gets a K teacher with a little more of an open mind

OP, how open is your mind to the possibility that your very bright child is nonetheless the sort of student her teacher has seen before and will be able to cope with just fine?

My mind was very open until I spoke with the principal. See my first post.

[Anonymous]

I know it is stressful sending your child to school for the first time. I had some of the same concerns that you do (although my child was not nearly as accomplished as yours at that age). I don't think you can go into public school and expect them to tailor all instruction to meet your child's exceptional needs. It would be ideal, perhaps, but it's PUBLIC school. And to that extent, it WILL be o.k. if your child is not challenged to her limits. If she is exceptional, she will still be exceptional in first grade and second grade and beyond.

Nearly all of kindergarten is "hands on" stations. So, there will be a station where one child can work on recognizing numbers and another child can use the same materials in a totally different way. The teacher will notice the differences. I think it is too much to expect a kindergarten teacher to teach some kids at a level that is 3 grades higher, BUT, your child will not be scarred. It is just kindergarten. She has a lot of opportunities ahead of her. Try not to assume the worst before you get there.

[Anonymous]

"Simply trying to determine if the school really are equipped and empowered to povide the differentiation that I feel DC may need."

The answer is no. Schools will not provide the differentiation that you feel your daughter needs.

[Anonymous]

And one more thing-- there is a thin line between being a good advocate for your child and a helicopter parent. While there are better teachers and worse ones, outside of some truly dysfunctional systems (which NOVA is not) it is safe to assume that most people who have been in the profession for a while have some idea of what they are doing. You are free to decide for yourself that one of the PP's would not be a good teacher for your daughter because of a single 20 line forum post, but I hope for her sake that you aren't spreading these attitudes to her. Because if you are looking for a quick way to destroy whatever intellectual progress she's made so far, training her to second-guess authority figures based on very incomplete information would be a great way to start.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

You sound like a wonderful teacher, but honestly I hope that DC gets a K teacher with a little more of an open mind

OP, how open is your mind to the possibility that your very bright child is nonetheless the sort of student her teacher has seen before and will be able to cope with just fine?

My mind was very open until I spoke with the principal. See my first post.

So no longer open. Gotcha.