Redefining "worth" after young and attractive ends

[Anonymous]

17:13 here, to answer your question OP - value yourself by what you do and how you affect other people. Your actions are the basis of your worth. You care for your children. You love your friends. Do you cook, paint, run, sing, donate, etc.? Those actions have always been the basis of your worth, not the enjoyment people have in looking at you.

[Anonymous]

Remember, "beauty fades, but dumb lasts forever."

JK.

I think that you will still find men being attracted to you once you get your groove back. And, it won't be for the reasons that people found each other attractive in their early 20s. It'll be for other reasons. I'm a much more intelligent flirt that I used to be when I was younger, and I find that men, usually older, wiser, more experienced (and wealthier?) find me good company. Of course, I'm happily married, but having good, fun conversations with men is good for the self-esteem. I dress better--more sophisticated, better makeup, better bras, better bags and shoes--and I carry myself more confidently. I also am happier and more profoundly satisfied as a mother. I think that I am more attractive now than when I was younger in part because I no longer really care about dating. And as we know from our younger years, the people who don't are are always the ones we're attracted to!

[Anonymous]

I'm 45 and smoking hot! Just ask my DH, and every other 25-85 year old man walking down the street. I still turn plenty of heads!

I look "good for my age". Most people think I'm in my ate 30s. Have not had work done, but I do work on my body every day - either through proper eating and/or exercise. I use sunscreen every day. hardly drink any alcohol - which is a huge ager. I also have good genes.
I'm also smart, aggressive but feminine. Kind to others and respectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and smoking hot! Just ask my DH, and every other 25-85 year old man walking down the street. I still turn plenty of heads!

I look "good for my age". Most people think I'm in my ate 30s. Have not had work done, but I do work on my body every day - either through proper eating and/or exercise. I use sunscreen every day. hardly drink any alcohol - which is a huge ager. I also have good genes.
I'm also smart, aggressive but feminine. Kind to others and respectful.

And, above all, you are humble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and smoking hot! Just ask my DH, and every other 25-85 year old man walking down the street. I still turn plenty of heads!

I look "good for my age". Most people think I'm in my ate 30s. Have not had work done, but I do work on my body every day - either through proper eating and/or exercise. I use sunscreen every day. hardly drink any alcohol - which is a huge ager. I also have good genes.
I'm also smart, aggressive but feminine. Kind to others and respectful.

And, above all, you are humble.

LOL. Just what I was thinking. And notice she didn't address the question, b/c she's still "smoking hot." Guess she just wanted to tell us about her hotness.

[Anonymous]

I look far different than I used to. Some might say "better" some might say "worse". I hate to sound cliche, but it really is about making your own self happy and impressing yourself. People are way too easily impressed here.

Sometimes I happen to notice what guys look at. If it is me fine, if not thats fine too. I have to say, it is 90% of the time what you would never guess, and much of the time not what his wife looks like. I find this funny.

I don't live for the attention like some women and men) do, so whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I guess that's the benefit of never being "hot," I don't define myself by what others think. Who cares if some random 23-year old doesn't hit on you? You need to learn to feel good about yourself because of how you see yourself, not how you might look to other people. Who knows, maybe your wedding partner was intimidated by being paired with a hot older chick?

Define yourself and your self-worth by what you accomplish and contribute to the world, not by how you look. Otherwise you'll never be truly happy and always be searching for a way to look better, which is really just sad.

Another never-hot here. In fact, I was clinically obese for the majority of my life, and just now have reversed that. Feel great. Never worried about looks though. I have love and life and family, and that's all I've ever had. Can't miss what I never had. I used to think once I hit my 40s I'd be filled with regret at never being beautiful the way society sees it, but.....nope. Just happy to be alive and here!

[Anonymous]

Im 28 married with no kids yet... I did not feel old until I read OP was 29. Damn am i old already?

[Anonymous]

When I was young, I did not know how to enjoy being young, because that would have entailed being old and knowing what I know now.

So I do not mourn my bright-eyed, plump, rosy-cheeked self. But I do occasionally kick myself for not having taken full advantage of it *discreet cough*.

And in that vein OP, enjoy every single minute of your matronly 29 years! Get out there in your string bikini! If you don't, you'll regret it at 39

Full disclosure: I am 31 with 2 children and WILL wear my string bikini this summer.

[Anonymous]

I know how you feel OP. Some guys in their 40'sand 50's still pay attention to me but no one younger than that. What's worse is that now when I walk down the street, sometimes I think cute guys are looking at me, but then I realize they are looking at my teenage daughter! Ugh!
I don't know if my self worth was wrapped up in my looks but you get used to the attention and then suddenly it's gone. It does help to go out without your kids sometimes. They seem to be a hotness shield that makes men look away instantly.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was you. I think it's particularly hard when you are 29 and most of your friends don't have kids, and here you are looking haggard and poochy. It'll get better. As your kids get a little older you will start to pull it together and look polished and feel attractive. I did not get my "groove" back till my youngest was 3, but once I did I felt great and attractive and vibrant. Exercise helps too, and whatever helps you hang onto your sanity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and smoking hot! Just ask my DH, and every other 25-85 year old man walking down the street. I still turn plenty of heads!

I look "good for my age". Most people think I'm in my ate 30s. Have not had work done, but I do work on my body every day - either through proper eating and/or exercise. I use sunscreen every day. hardly drink any alcohol - which is a huge ager. I also have good genes.
I'm also smart, aggressive but feminine. Kind to others and respectful.

And, above all, you are humble.

LOL. Just what I was thinking. And notice she didn't address the question, b/c she's still "smoking hot." Guess she just wanted to tell us about her hotness.

Humility is totally useless. as for answering the question - I did!

[Anonymous]

i love how on this anonymous site, NO-ONE looks their age. The 50's all look 40. The 40's all look 30. The 30s look 20. Everyone is "smoking hot". Where are all these eternally youthful creatures? I certainly am not seeing them on my daily travels through the playgrounds and preschools of NW DC!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and smoking hot! Just ask my DH, and every other 25-85 year old man walking down the street. I still turn plenty of heads!

I look "good for my age". Most people think I'm in my ate 30s. Have not had work done, but I do work on my body every day - either through proper eating and/or exercise. I use sunscreen every day. hardly drink any alcohol - which is a huge ager. I also have good genes.
I'm also smart, aggressive but feminine. Kind to others and respectful.

And, above all, you are humble.

LOL. Just what I was thinking. And notice she didn't address the question, b/c she's still "smoking hot." Guess she just wanted to tell us about her hotness.

Humility is totally useless. as for answering the question - I did!

Rock on with your vain self.

[Anonymous]

Was it Bette Davis who said "old age is not for sissies"? (of course, you are still a baby... wait until you are 48)