Dear friend just told me she has had an affair. What advice should I give?

[Anonymous]

Is he hot?

[Anonymous]

OP,

Not clear here. The affair is over. You told her to get therapy. What other advice is there to give?

If she asks if you think she should tell her husband, I would tell her that is her call and not get involved.

I agree, lots of details!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I found out that my friend had an affair, I didn't really say anything. I listened to her when she needed to talk, I didn't judge, and I didn't offer much advice. I'd just lie low and stay out of it. Be there for her, but really most of the time our friends just need someone to listen.

Good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I found out that my friend had an affair, I didn't really say anything. I listened to her when she needed to talk, I didn't judge, and I didn't offer much advice. I'd just lie low and stay out of it. Be there for her, but really most of the time our friends just need someone to listen.

Good advice.

A really good and true friend isn't being judgmental to give an honest opinion. To go through life behaving badly and not having a really close friend to call you on that behavior is a recipe for disaster. Encouragement and support are important, but honesty and integrity are also important.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't offer her any advice. Just listen to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When I found out that my friend had an affair, I didn't really say anything. I listened to her when she needed to talk, I didn't judge, and I didn't offer much advice. I'd just lie low and stay out of it. Be there for her, but really most of the time our friends just need someone to listen.

Good advice.

A really good and true friend isn't being judgmental to give an honest opinion. To go through life behaving badly and not having a really close friend to call you on that behavior is a recipe for disaster. Encouragement and support are important, but honesty and integrity are also important.

I totally agree with this. Friends should call you on your bad behavior, too - or they aren't true friends.

[Anonymous]

MYOB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB.[/quote


Good advice for a shallow, gloss things over acquaintance-type relationship. Not a genuine friendship that will last over time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB.[/quote


Good advice for a shallow, gloss things over acquaintance-type relationship. Not a genuine friendship that will last over time.

How do you know?

[Anonymous]

"I totally agree with this. Friends should call you on your bad behavior, too - or they aren't true friends. "

Do men call on their male friends' bad behavior?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB.[/quote


Good advice for a shallow, gloss things over acquaintance-type relationship. Not a genuine friendship that will last over time.

How do you know?

Experience and long-time friendships. Feel free to disagree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I totally agree with this. Friends should call you on your bad behavior, too - or they aren't true friends. "

Do men call on their male friends' bad behavior?

Those who truly care if a friend's life falls apart or not do that. A real friend speaks the truth and also gives support.

[Anonymous]

OP, tell your friend not to tell ANYONE about it. EVER.

[Anonymous]

She wants to get caught. If she didn't she would have never told anyone. She knows you will talk and I doubt you are the only one she told.

It is marriage suicide by chatty women sort of like suicide by cop. The person is too much of a coward to face it the way it needs to be face

oh and she is a whore-go ahead defend her, but if this was a guy he would be judged differently.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:[/b]She wants to get caught. If she didn't she would have never told anyone. She knows you will talk and I doubt you are the only one she told.

[b]It is marriage suicide by chatty women sort of like suicide by cop. The person is too much of a coward to face it the way it needs to be face

oh and she is a whore-go ahead defend her, but if this was a guy he would be judged differently.

Interesting... I bet she wants you to tell your husband who then tell the cheater's husband.