Neighbor has a severe crush on my husband

[Anonymous]

This is like the opening scene of one of those suburban eyes wide shut style movies.

[Anonymous]

really interesting that you think the woman is overweight. Why?

and, my initial reaction is that maybe, for whatever reason (valid or not), she likes your husband, and is clingy to him b/c he's the only one who has made her feel comfortable as an outsider. and for whatever reason, she may not like you, which makes the gap between how she treats the two of you wider.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you need to put her in her place. Do not allow her to stand so close to your husband or monopolize his attention at social gatherings. Stand between them, cut her off when she talks, and make snide comments about how desperate she looks. Time to displace and humiliate her a little bit.

Taken from the pages of the Mean Girl's Handbook. Seriously, are you 14?

[Anonymous]

I don't get it. If you're not threatened at all by the husband situation, then she's just another person in your life You don't get along with. Treat her as such and your husband should stay united with you. That's the way I see it, anyway.

[Anonymous]

PP who thinks the woman is overweight here.

OP, is she?

[Anonymous]

I hate when posters automatically assume the OP is delusional.

[Anonymous]

My best friend for years and maid of honor in our wedding did the exact same thing the neighbor is doing. My DH never realized she was flirting and then she started putting me down, would act like they shared a secret about me, would try to get my DH to agree with her when she "jokingly" criticized me. That's the problem here--her behavior toward you, the wife. Confront her when she is rude and clue your DH in to do the same.

[Anonymous]

I don't care how great her husband is, cut 'em off. Why put yourself through that? Life is too short.

I don't thrive on drama so I have very little in my life. I'm sure her husband is a great guy but it's not worth hanging out with them if it causes this kind of tension.

[Anonymous]

I, too, thought the neighbor must be overweight.

I do think it bothers the OP though or else she wouldn't care enough to post about it.

If her DH doesn't care, and the woman has made no actual advances, perhaps the woman is just friendly and outgoing and it tired of being thankful to the OP for "bringing her into the gang" and being reminded of such. The DH probably isn't hearlding himself as some savior of the poor, socialy inept neighbors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I think you now see why, perhaps, they weren't "part of the gang."

I would distance myself from them entirely. Then, I'd go watch All About Eve.

I agree with this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I, too, thought the neighbor must be overweight.

I do think it bothers the OP though or else she wouldn't care enough to post about it.

If her DH doesn't care, and the woman has made no actual advances, perhaps the woman is just friendly and outgoing and it tired of being thankful to the OP for "bringing her into the gang" and being reminded of such. The DH probably isn't hearlding himself as some savior of the poor, socialy inept neighbors.

the OP never brought up that "overweight" aspect. that is a pp reading way too much into the story... and guess what. i'm going to guess that pp is overweight herself!! horrrors!!!
(i'm not the OP btw)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My best friend for years and maid of honor in our wedding did the exact same thing the neighbor is doing. My DH never realized she was flirting and then she started putting me down, would act like they shared a secret about me, would try to get my DH to agree with her when she "jokingly" criticized me. That's the problem here--her behavior toward you, the wife. Confront her when she is rude and clue your DH in to do the same.

Ooh, so how'd it play out?

[Anonymous]

I am the PP who posted about overweight and I am, myself.

The OP was CERTAIN that her DH would never ever be attracted to this woman. In our society, there's really only one thing that creates that much certainty, and that's being fat. Ugly, buck teeth, bad skin .... there are lots of things that wouldn't qualify someone as being attractive without inspiring the OP to say she was so sure the husband could never be attracted to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP who posted about overweight and I am, myself.

The OP was CERTAIN that her DH would never ever be attracted to this woman. In our society, there's really only one thing that creates that much certainty, and that's being fat. Ugly, buck teeth, bad skin .... there are lots of things that wouldn't qualify someone as being attractive without inspiring the OP to say she was so sure the husband could never be attracted to her.

Chronic halitosis? Smoker? A smoker would be a dealbreaker for me even if he was gorgeous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the PP who posted about overweight and I am, myself.

The OP was CERTAIN that her DH would never ever be attracted to this woman. In our society, there's really only one thing that creates that much certainty, and that's being fat. Ugly, buck teeth, bad skin .... there are lots of things that wouldn't qualify someone as being attractive without inspiring the OP to say she was so sure the husband could never be attracted to her.

Oh, that's really reading way to much into it. I know my DH pretty well and know the various "types" of women he tends to find attractive, either physically or based on other attributes. He surprises me sometimes (Scarlett Johannsen, really?) but I'm probably 90% accurate knowing what would appeal to him or not. The unkindness towards OP is a bit extreme here.

FWIW, OP, I'd just distance myself from this other couple in the short-term. It's easy enough to do during this busy time of year. Then ask DH to be more sensitized to it so he can play a part in creating appropriate distance from this woman as well. As for her unpleasantness towards you, just ignore it as best you can. If you don't react, that kind of behavior often will either lessen or stop altogether.