Working parents: how do you have the energy to do it all?

[Anonymous]

I'm naturally a high energy person and I have a prescription for Adderall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait what time are you actually going to sleep? 9pm? that’s too early for an adult! We sleep 11-7. Sometimes 10:30. (I wake at 7:30)

We definitely clean and work for 2 hours after kids go to sleep. But yeah, life is hard and not easy. I’m dying to come home to a cooked meal. Neither of us telework.

I have to get up at 5:45 so I’m about to go to sleep. Not every adult can wake up at 7am. I have to be at work at 7:30.

[Anonymous]

Are your friends in the same age group as you are?
Because the older you get in life - - the more worn out you get in general.

Do any of these parents outsource anything?
I.e., childcare, housecleaning, etc.
Perhaps they have less household responsibilities because they hire help…..

Finally is your job more stressful or more labor intensive than theirs??

[Anonymous]

+1 to the PPs who said it's a phase of life. Soon you'll be on to the next stressful phase and realize that babies and young children were the easy part.

But that too will pass and one day you'll wake up an empty nester and look back on those years with wonder at how much you were able to accomplish.

[Anonymous]

Just remember that it is a choice to live this way. Lots of the financial things that you think are necessities are not. Many families move, make sacrifices on housing, cars, etc. to live on one income and it works fine. DCUM will tell you that you have to work on the chance that you will divorce, but wouldn’t a more peaceful life make divorce less likely?

[Anonymous]

I'm a dad who works from home and has a 17 and 19 year old so I'm through alot of the grind. It's still difficult dealing with big kid problems, but I understand your exhaustion. All I can say is...be thankful! Whatever you are going through, be thankful because it could ALWAYs be worse. If you kids are healthy, awesome! Imagine the families where that isn't true. Remember you do not HAVE TO take your kids here and there, you GET TO! Enjoy it! Appreciate it. It doesn't last forever. I definitely miss it some days. I've working from home the past 6 years and before that I had ALOT of flexibility. My wife stayed home alot when they were very small before school. I cannot imagine raising a family now where both parents are out of the house full time and don't have a desk job, etc. Imagine everything you are going through now, and your job was a construction worker or even customer service where you face the customer all day except for two 15 minute breaks throughout the day. Anyway, I do know it's tough, just be thankful! Keep grinding!

[Anonymous]

18 months is a tough time too. That's peak "they will try to find creative ways to cause themselves and other things harm if you look away for ten seconds"

[Anonymous]

A lot of people think that their energy is a finite resource that needs to be carefully guarded and conserved, but my experience is the opposite. The more you do, especially exercise, the more energy you have.

[Anonymous]

I only had 1 child. I knew my bandwidth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only had 1 child. I knew my bandwidth.

This, but also the <5 years were by far the most exhausting/hardest for me.

DS is now a teen and while there have been frustrating periods or stressful periods, it's certainly never again been the physical exhaustion of toddlerhood. Worst case scenario on weekends now, I can wake up when I want to vs when he does, and I can take a nap and know that DS will be just fine if I fall asleep for 2 hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just remember that it is a choice to live this way. Lots of the financial things that you think are necessities are not. Many families move, make sacrifices on housing, cars, etc. to live on one income and it works fine. DCUM will tell you that you have to work on the chance that you will divorce, but wouldn’t a more peaceful life make divorce less likely?

Not everyone feels that way. I'd be way more exhausted being home with a toddler solo than I am going to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a dad who works from home and has a 17 and 19 year old so I'm through alot of the grind. It's still difficult dealing with big kid problems, but I understand your exhaustion. All I can say is...be thankful! Whatever you are going through, be thankful because it could ALWAYs be worse. If you kids are healthy, awesome! Imagine the families where that isn't true. Remember you do not HAVE TO take your kids here and there, you GET TO! Enjoy it! Appreciate it. It doesn't last forever. I definitely miss it some days. I've working from home the past 6 years and before that I had ALOT of flexibility. My wife stayed home alot when they were very small before school. I cannot imagine raising a family now where both parents are out of the house full time and don't have a desk job, etc. Imagine everything you are going through now, and your job was a construction worker or even customer service where you face the customer all day except for two 15 minute breaks throughout the day. Anyway, I do know it's tough, just be thankful! Keep grinding!

This is good advice.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. I didn’t work full time until my youngest was in elementary school. My kids are tweens/teens but I am still wiped out from the driving to activities and helping with homework most nights. DH and I both have to work at an office, so be glad you at least have WFH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just remember that it is a choice to live this way. Lots of the financial things that you think are necessities are not. Many families move, make sacrifices on housing, cars, etc. to live on one income and it works fine. DCUM will tell you that you have to work on the chance that you will divorce, but wouldn’t a more peaceful life make divorce less likely?

Not everyone feels that way. I'd be way more exhausted being home with a toddler solo than I am going to work.

Then you wouldn't be on DCUM complaining about your life, would you?

[Anonymous]

The only working parents (and SAH parents for that matter) I know with kids that age who are well rested, have time for their own hobbies, enjoy life... have a TON of help. In my circle, I'm not talking hired nannies; I'm talking grandparents who babysit / take the kids for sleepovers or weekend getaways, a super involved aunt who doesn't have her own kids, an older child/stepchild/cousins who are playing with the kids most days, etc.