Ex-gf reached out w nasty message

[Anonymous]

call cops if she ever reach out to you again or threatening in any way. She could go crazy and do whatever. You don't know what someone dumped in a relationship could do.

[Anonymous]

Op, accept your mistake. You chose a wrong partner and she was abusive during the relationship and now as well. Stay away and keep your kids away too from people like these.

[Anonymous]

Could be headed somewhere dark, like this:

https://www.truecrimereporter.com/episodes/a-love-triangle-ends-in-an-alleged-murderous-fit-of-jealous-rage/

[Anonymous]

Going on a huge limb here. Your ex is 42 and you dated for 3 years without marrying. Did you insinuate you might marry her or talk about kids? She's probably bitter you wasted her time and her last few years of fertility.

[Anonymous]

You probably mistreated her and the trip triggered her for whatever reason. She may also be soft in the head. Both can be true.
I just cursed out a 'boyfriend' of mine from year 1998. Back then I thought he was the nicest person. Now I see that this was not the case at all. Have had time to think about it all for sure.
Block her and stop putting your stuff out there.

[Anonymous]

She will keep on harassing you if you don't block her here and there (and your new gf too) and I would suggest to make a short but frank message saying that it is over and that if she keeps on writing etc, you will report her to the police.

[Anonymous]

Who initiated the break-up OP?

It is clearly obvious that your ex girlfriend is still carrying a very heavy torch for you.

Her behavior is definitely crossing boundaries however & you should tell your current GF to block her on social media or else make her profile private.

If your ex continues harassing you, then you may have no choice but to obtain a restraining order against her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. No, I am not splashing anything on social media. My new gf just tags me if we are going somewhere but not me.

Second, it is over and done so not sure why the reason for bitterness. Reason I broke up with her is because she is like this - manipulative, controlling and toxic and I don't want to be a part of it.

Ask your gf to stop tagging you.

Do you even have a question?

OP didn't have a question but just venting. BTW, why he or his new GF has to stop tagging or stop posting anywhere they want? The ex is doing the crazy things...

Because they are dealing with it a crazy ex. They don’t have to stop posting or tagging but they need to
Make their accounts private. Besides celebrities and “influencers”, no one needs a public social media account.

[Anonymous]

What would happen if instead of blocking and ghosting her, OP sent a nice message in response? I like being nice to people and would write a kind response saying a few good things about her (they dated for 3 years, so apparently there was something that OP really liked) and acknowledging that she and the relationship mattered a lot while it lasted but now is a new chapter of their lives and wish her well, etc. He is hurting her more by not responding.

[Anonymous]

Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You probably mistreated her and the trip triggered her for whatever reason. She may also be soft in the head. Both can be true.
I just cursed out a 'boyfriend' of mine from year 1998. Back then I thought he was the nicest person. Now I see that this was not the case at all. Have had time to think about it all for sure.
Block her and stop putting your stuff out there.

You cursed out someone for something 28 years ago? Weird.

[Anonymous]

Holy shit, the women on this site are truly evil and total hypocrites. If a man acted the way this man's ex is acting, you'd be advising her to contact the police. Yet, because it's a man, you're inventing reasons for why she is justified in doing this. Grow up and do better!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your ex's behavior is inappropriate and unhealthy but you are engaging in multiple behaviors that likely made it worse. It's fine to be unhappy with her for what she's doing, but you need to recognize what you are doing as well:

1) She sent you a nice message seeking to rekindle the relationship and you chose to ignore it. You needed to respond, state clearly and kindly that you were not interested in getting back together, and that you wished her well. This is what growtnups do.

2) At the point she sent you the mean message and it was clear she was stalking your new GF's socials, you should not only have blocked her on your socials but told your GF what happened and ask that she either not post photos of you or lock down any posts featuring you so they aren't public. Once your ex is in the habit of stalking her socials, every post of you will just feed it and the only way to break it is to give her nothing to see.

Again, the ex's behavior is totally wrong here, but this kind of thing happens. Many, many people have trouble dealing with rejection due to mental health issues. But bad social behavior (like ghosting and ignoring) combined with people being very public on their social media exacerbates this issue. You need to do what you can on your end to cool the situation off. You made this worse.

He ABSOLUTELY did not need to respond to the "nice" message. What is wrong with you?

Yes, he should have. He needed to set the boundary. Silence doesn't communicate what people think it does. He thinks "oh I didn't respond, she will understand that means I have no interest." In reality, depending on her state of mind, she fills that silence with all kinds of things that might not be true. That was his opportunity to set the tone for their interactions by being polite and kind but also very clearly letting her know he wasn't interested in getting back together and was moving on.

It was cowardly not to just to respond that he is not interested but wishes her well. And if you care about someone enough to have an intimate relationship with them, you do actually have a moral obligation to at least acknowledge their existence in the future. You don't have to stay friends or entertain the idea that you'll get back together, but it's incredibly rude to simply act like they don't exist. And people in fragile emotional states tend to respond very poorly to ghosting.

Total bs. The boundry was set when he broke up with her. Silence communicates that he does not wish to engage. Ex GF should have respected that. THAT is what normal people do. You're just another lunatic who thinks the world owes you something like OP's ex.