Bat Mitzvah gift from a Middle Income Family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A check for $100 if she’s the only one in your family going.

Not $100. Cash / gift cards should be multiples of $18. So $72, $90, or $108.

Been Jewish my whole life, had a bat mitzvah, my kid had a bat mitzvah -- this whole "multiples of 18" thing feels like Cinquo de Mayo -- a legit cultural phenomenon among some groups that became wildly overblown with the internet. FYI.

Same experience and feeling here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A check for $100 if she’s the only one in your family going.

Not $100. Cash / gift cards should be multiples of $18. So $72, $90, or $108.

Been Jewish my whole life, had a bat mitzvah, my kid had a bat mitzvah -- this whole "multiples of 18" thing feels like Cinquo de Mayo -- a legit cultural phenomenon among some groups that became wildly overblown with the internet. FYI.

Same experience and feeling here.

Oh good! Years ago, I was invited to my first bat mitzvah - the daughter of a friend from work. I put a $20 bill in a card and have wondered if I caused some sort of cultural insult all these years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A check for $100 if she’s the only one in your family going.

This is wrong and also hilarious on so many levels.

[Anonymous]

Some cash or a gift card. Dress it up with a pretty card and envelope.

[Anonymous]

I would get her a gift if it's her bff. Not sure what 13 year olds are into, but something she knows she would like. Back in my day, a friend got a swatch. I thought that was super cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A check for $100 if she’s the only one in your family going.

Are you dumbo

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A check for $100 if she’s the only one in your family going.

Not $100. Cash / gift cards should be multiples of $18. So $72, $90, or $108.

Been Jewish my whole life, had a bat mitzvah, my kid had a bat mitzvah -- this whole "multiples of 18" thing feels like Cinquo de Mayo -- a legit cultural phenomenon among some groups that became wildly overblown with the internet. FYI.

Plus if you’re not Jewish no one would expect you to know this. I wouldn’t worry about it. A really meaningful card with what you can afford would be fine.

[Anonymous]

We invited the whole class (small school) and there is a huge range of gifts. Anything is fine. If you don’t know the child well, $18 or $36 or a gift card is totally fine.

[Anonymous]

This q gets asked a lot- check the forum. And it's always answered the same: give whatever you like, no one will judge you.
I will say-- for a very expensive Bat Mitzvah, and for the kid's best friend, $36 is on the low side. IT'S FINE if that's in your budget and what you want to give. But I would go with a small gift instead: agree with something like a Kendra Scott necklace.

[Anonymous]

We do $108

[Anonymous]

It is never the guest’s job to gift according to the extravagance of the party. They presumably invited your child because they want her there, regardless of whether a gift will come or not.

What would you do for a regular birthday gift? Do that. Maybe a bit jazzed up. Sure it’s an important birthday from a religious aspect, but it’s not your religion.

[Anonymous]

There were plenty of people who gave 36 or 54 for DS - the casual friends, mostly. Closer friends or when whole families were invited it was more. We usually do 54 for the casual friends. No one is judging - do what makes you comfortable.

I will say that this isn’t a regular birthday party, so it does make sense to do a bit more than you might for a regular teen hangout party - not because of the type of party, but because it’s celebrating a coming of age and an enormous amount of work the child put into preparing for the service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A check for $100 if she’s the only one in your family going.

Not $100. Cash / gift cards should be multiples of $18. So $72, $90, or $108.

Been Jewish my whole life, had a bat mitzvah, my kid had a bat mitzvah -- this whole "multiples of 18" thing feels like Cinquo de Mayo -- a legit cultural phenomenon among some groups that became wildly overblown with the internet. FYI.

Same experience and feeling here.

+2

[Anonymous]

We’re not Jewish and my daughter has been invited to several Bat and Bar Mitzvahs. We do $50, either cash or a Visa gift card. Reading through the posts about multiples of $18, I was thinking to myself “whoops” but it looks like our $50 gift is just fine.

[Anonymous]

We had so many this year. We did $36 when not close, either $54 for a slightly closer acquaintance and $72 after that.

For the couple where we were invited as a family, we gave more and still did cash.