How rude is this or is this acceptable?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a very personal question, and also to ask at the dinner table where everyone is seated and listening, so yeah, it's 'not your business' and it's rude.

This. Totally rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people who wouldn't ask that question, what do you talk about at the dinner table with relatives? I imagine politics, religion, anything personal is off the table so do you talk about sports, celebrities, or some other superficial topic for the entire time that you interact with your relatives?

Anything except their reproduction plans. None of their business and I would tell them so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the situation: at the Easter brunch table, there were 10 of us, and a couple who is getting married later this year; a relative asked the couple if they will have children right away. This relative is related to one person of the couple but hardly sees the person on an on-going basis, maybe once a year if that; this relative met the other person of this couple only once before. I think the question is quite rude. WDYT?

I think you must be relatively young. In previous generations this was a fairly normal question, which you just answered either truthfully or with something vague. The asker is making conversation and likely DGAF one way or the other.

So many things have become "rude" that once upon a time were just considered small talk.

Small talk is for strangers, amongst family people can be more straightforward.

No “family “ is not the ticket to be rude. Well, maybe if they are dysfunctional. lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the situation: at the Easter brunch table, there were 10 of us, and a couple who is getting married later this year; a relative asked the couple if they will have children right away. This relative is related to one person of the couple but hardly sees the person on an on-going basis, maybe once a year if that; this relative met the other person of this couple only once before. I think the question is quite rude. WDYT?

I think you must be relatively young. In previous generations this was a fairly normal question, which you just answered either truthfully or with something vague. The asker is making conversation and likely DGAF one way or the other.

So many things have become "rude" that once upon a time were just considered small talk.

This.

[Anonymous]

They also may have been wondering if you were knocked up.
DH and I got married at city hall when I was 30 and in grad school.
One of his colleagues had a party for us. I wore a tunic top. Women I never met kept asking me about my "PLANS." I was puzzled but said registration day was Monday. They looked puzzled then. Only later did a friend clue me in. Thought it was shotgun time.,
We never had kids, lol.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people who wouldn't ask that question, what do you talk about at the dinner table with relatives? I imagine politics, religion, anything personal is off the table so do you talk about sports, celebrities, or some other superficial topic for the entire time that you interact with your relatives?

Anything except their reproduction plans. None of their business and I would tell them so.

Anything?! Your family must be dysfunctional. This question would be acceptable but “how much do you spend on the wedding” or “who’s paying” or literally anything to do with money. Politics has become taboo in our family too - we have Bernie to Trump ardent supporters in our family and everything in between. (In in between and I cannot stand the conversations). Religion should be ok in most families, if they share the exact same religion. My parents and I don’t - they are very religious and I’m very agnostic. But my personal view is religion tell people to be good people and some people need that guidance, I don’t - but as long as we all have to same human values, it’s fine for me to be polite while they pray or tell me they will pray for me or whatever. I think about them too - just not through prayer.

And for the PP who asked what those of us talk about - kids, schools, activities, sports, current events, hobbies, work, etc - my whole family lives board games, movies, vacations, walks together. I often wonder if people who stick to the rude topics - money, religion, and politics - have nothing better to talk about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For people who wouldn't ask that question, what do you talk about at the dinner table with relatives? I imagine politics, religion, anything personal is off the table so do you talk about sports, celebrities, or some other superficial topic for the entire time that you interact with your relatives?

So MANY things. If people are moving or recently moved, we talk about that, we talk about whatever the kids bring up, vacations, stuff going on at work, upcoming birthdays, home repairs, stuff going on with the kids, recipes, old memories, we tell stories about the olden days, origins of language (we almost always have three languages being spoken at any gathering), etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For people who wouldn't ask that question, what do you talk about at the dinner table with relatives? I imagine politics, religion, anything personal is off the table so do you talk about sports, celebrities, or some other superficial topic for the entire time that you interact with your relatives?

Anything except their reproduction plans. None of their business and I would tell them so.

Anything?! Your family must be dysfunctional. This question would be acceptable but “how much do you spend on the wedding” or “who’s paying” or literally anything to do with money. Politics has become taboo in our family too - we have Bernie to Trump ardent supporters in our family and everything in between. (In in between and I cannot stand the conversations). Religion should be ok in most families, if they share the exact same religion. My parents and I don’t - they are very religious and I’m very agnostic. But my personal view is religion tell people to be good people and some people need that guidance, I don’t - but as long as we all have to same human values, it’s fine for me to be polite while they pray or tell me they will pray for me or whatever. I think about them too - just not through prayer.

And for the PP who asked what those of us talk about - kids, schools, activities, sports, current events, hobbies, work, etc - my whole family lives board games, movies, vacations, walks together. I often wonder if people who stick to the rude topics - money, religion, and politics - have nothing better to talk about.

I think pp was not being liberal about “anything” and your family sounds annoying. I bet all you talk about is your kids. 🥱 yawn. lol. Please talk about money and politics before kids. At least i would stay awake.😁

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They also may have been wondering if you were knocked up.
DH and I got married at city hall when I was 30 and in grad school.
One of his colleagues had a party for us. I wore a tunic top. Women I never met kept asking me about my "PLANS." I was puzzled but said registration day was Monday. They looked puzzled then. Only later did a friend clue me in. Thought it was shotgun time.,
We never had kids, lol.

Same here! We married in Vegas 32 yrs ago and childfree by choice and early retired. Life is good!

[Anonymous]

Rude.

[Anonymous]

Rude.

[Anonymous]

Very rude.

[Anonymous]

That’s incredibly rude and in my family and circles it always has been. A parent alone in private with their AC might ask generally, assuming they have a close relationship. You don’t ask anyone about their reproductive plans at the Easter table!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s incredibly rude and in my family and circles it always has been. A parent alone in private with their AC might ask generally, assuming they have a close relationship. You don’t ask anyone about their reproductive plans at the Easter table!

Same for my family and that rude question would receive an equally rude and seemingly earnest reply including details about sperm mobility and snot like mucousy ovulation even if all invented. You asked.

[Anonymous]

Since the couple is not even married, it's most likely not the thing they have started on yet? Super rude. What kind of "small talk" is this?