How rude is this or is this acceptable?

[Anonymous]

This is the situation: at the Easter brunch table, there were 10 of us, and a couple who is getting married later this year; a relative asked the couple if they will have children right away. This relative is related to one person of the couple but hardly sees the person on an on-going basis, maybe once a year if that; this relative met the other person of this couple only once before. I think the question is quite rude. WDYT?

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine. Personally I never ask such questions because I know others are sensitive about it, but when people asked me after my wedding, I did not mind it at all.

[Anonymous]

It's rude.

[Anonymous]

I'm not sure it's rude, but it falls into a "this is not your business" category. If I were the couple I'd answer the question with a question: "Why would you like to know?"

When I was deep into infertility I had a distant uncle drunkenly grill me at dinner, in front of a table full of people, about when I was having kids. I told him he'd be the first to know, with a big smile on my face. He got all flustered like "well I doubt that's true" and stammered away. But I was always glad I'd been able to shut him down about something that was deeply painful for me.

[Anonymous]

It is a sensitive topic for many people, and therefore not a question that you should be asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is the situation: at the Easter brunch table, there were 10 of us, and a couple who is getting married later this year; a relative asked the couple if they will have children right away. This relative is related to one person of the couple but hardly sees the person on an on-going basis, maybe once a year if that; this relative met the other person of this couple only once before. I think the question is quite rude. WDYT?

I think you must be relatively young. In previous generations this was a fairly normal question, which you just answered either truthfully or with something vague. The asker is making conversation and likely DGAF one way or the other.

So many things have become "rude" that once upon a time were just considered small talk.

[Anonymous]

It's a very personal question, and also to ask at the dinner table where everyone is seated and listening, so yeah, it's 'not your business' and it's rude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure it's rude, but it falls into a "this is not your business" category. If I were the couple I'd answer the question with a question: "Why would you like to know?"

When I was deep into infertility I had a distant uncle drunkenly grill me at dinner, in front of a table full of people, about when I was having kids. I told him he'd be the first to know, with a big smile on my face. He got all flustered like "well I doubt that's true" and stammered away. But I was always glad I'd been able to shut him down about something that was deeply painful for me.

Asking questions on this topic is nosey. I think it's being very nosey, if not rude. And if there are other circumstances, like you mentioned yours, it can be painful.

[Anonymous]

A couple not even trying yet won't care that much. They will just say maybe in a few years or whatever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the situation: at the Easter brunch table, there were 10 of us, and a couple who is getting married later this year; a relative asked the couple if they will have children right away. This relative is related to one person of the couple but hardly sees the person on an on-going basis, maybe once a year if that; this relative met the other person of this couple only once before. I think the question is quite rude. WDYT?

I think you must be relatively young. In previous generations this was a fairly normal question, which you just answered either truthfully or with something vague. The asker is making conversation and likely DGAF one way or the other.

So many things have become "rude" that once upon a time were just considered small talk.

Small talk is for strangers, amongst family people can be more straightforward.

[Anonymous]

It’s kind of rude by today’s standards. If the relative was old then they are used to this kind of nosy question for young couples.

[Anonymous]

It's rude, but also a very common old person question. She didn't realize it was rude and was just trying to make conversation. Young people now are extremely sensitive. You can only ask them vague questions about not potentially controversial things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the situation: at the Easter brunch table, there were 10 of us, and a couple who is getting married later this year; a relative asked the couple if they will have children right away. This relative is related to one person of the couple but hardly sees the person on an on-going basis, maybe once a year if that; this relative met the other person of this couple only once before. I think the question is quite rude. WDYT?

I think you must be relatively young. In previous generations this was a fairly normal question, which you just answered either truthfully or with something vague. The asker is making conversation and likely DGAF one way or the other.

So many things have become "rude" that once upon a time were just considered small talk.

Small talk is for strangers, amongst family people can be more straightforward.

Did you miss the part where it was a relative aka family who asked the question?

So many sensitive people on this site.

[Anonymous]

Never ask people about this stuff. Like unless someone is clearly 38-40 weeks, don't even mention their pregnancy. Definitely never ask about plans.

[Anonymous]

For people who wouldn't ask that question, what do you talk about at the dinner table with relatives? I imagine politics, religion, anything personal is off the table so do you talk about sports, celebrities, or some other superficial topic for the entire time that you interact with your relatives?