Dating as short/unattractive man with decent income

[Anonymous]

My DH is barely 5'7" and I'm 5'4". He's is awesome and fun and interesting and turned out to be a great dad and partner. He makes less than you even. I love him and he adores me and it works. Far better than some very attractive men I dated who were all dramatic and selfish.

[Anonymous]

Op, you don't really get to choose. You won't get both attractive and professional. As you said, they have options.
I'd go with the server, but show her how to make money. Also, what you make is enough if invested well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you are a 5ft 5 relatively
unattractive man with a decent 6 figure job (300-400k, early 30’s) and attractive women at your level professionally aren’t interested in you (for good reason, they have better options) but you do get a decent amount of interest from professional women you don’t find very attractive, plus women who are attractive but don’t have much of a career. Think server, retail worker in her 20’s who is pretty cute.

Who would you recommend going for?

Totally shallow post, but we live in a shallow world.

My guy. Try not to find a woman who is interested in your paycheck. Find a partner who is capable of self-sufficiency. Not only will you make a better financial future together, you will never wonder if she only wants you because of your money.

[Anonymous]

Doesn’t matter if the dude has BDE and swag.

[Anonymous]

Do you have tattoos?

[Anonymous]

I'd play with the dumb attractive ones but I wouldn't marry them. I'd hold out for someone more or less at your level in terms of brains and interests. They will come your way, even if you have to wait until you're 40.

[Anonymous]

I mean if you don't find certain people attractive physically why would you try to go out with them? If you are attracted to the people who are not professionals why does it matter that they are not professionals? Are you saying you are physically attracted to them but not to their personalities?

I know a lot of people who have higher degrees and a high income who are married to people with "only" bachelor's degrees or high school degrees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you are a 5ft 5 relatively
unattractive man with a decent 6 figure job (300-400k, early 30’s) and attractive women at your level professionally aren’t interested in you (for good reason, they have better options) but you do get a decent amount of interest from professional women you don’t find very attractive, plus women who are attractive but don’t have much of a career. Think server, retail worker in her 20’s who is pretty cute.

Who would you recommend going for?

Totally shallow post, but we live in a shallow world.

"they have better options"? Are you a woman? Who says that stuff? Who thinks this way? You can't rank people like that. Some of the shortest guys I know have wonderful beautiful girlfriends and no they are not rich.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you are a 5ft 5 relatively
unattractive man with a decent 6 figure job (300-400k, early 30’s) and attractive women at your level professionally aren’t interested in you (for good reason, they have better options) but you do get a decent amount of interest from professional women you don’t find very attractive, plus women who are attractive but don’t have much of a career. Think server, retail worker in her 20’s who is pretty cute.

Who would you recommend going for?

Totally shallow post, but we live in a shallow world.

"they have better options"? Are you a woman? Who says that stuff? Who thinks this way? You can't rank people like that. Some of the shortest guys I know have wonderful beautiful girlfriends and no they are not rich.

Sure. But he also said he is unattractive and he is not willing to date women he deems unattractive so height is the least of his concerns. He is also crowdsourcing this on DCUM. I think you answered your own questions here; this is a classic 4 wondering if he can buy his way into a 7 or 8 with cash (maybe!) Or if he should "settle" for a 4 to 5 peer who he deems beneath him because they are not hot. I am not understanding this thread of sympathy and enthusiasm for this guy, it's kind of a classic gross male stereotype. He has said nothing at all about wanting a loving partner and longterm happy relationship, he sounds like a vapid loser looking to maximize his value with someone hotter than him. Im shocked by the female responses acting like this is a short guy thing. We've all met this type. If he were fun and lovely and charismatic this wouldnt be the "predicament."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if your selling points are reduced to a height and an income, that’s what is going to limit you. I am only slightly taller and make half what you do and am not conventionally attractive, but have no trouble attracting women. Personality, character, respect, and demeanor matter. So who do you “go for”? The one who doesn’t care about your height and income.

I emphasized my height because it’s a huge deal for most young women these days with respect to overall physical attractiveness. Like you can be handsome but if you aren’t at least a certain height it cancels it out. Overall, probably 80-90% of your dating success is some function of looks and socioeconomic status. I’m also guilty of it so not trying to complain or anything

I applaud OP for being honest about his options and I feel his assessment is entirely correct, based on what is written. Men don't want to date ugly women (OP sure doesn't) and women don't want to date short poor men. It is what it is.

It really depends on what you want OP. Think ahead.

Do you want to be sole-breadwinner for a family (if you want kids), or does that sound stressful?
Do you like the status and prestige that you get from being with a hot girl over the prestige of being married to a high earning doctor type?
What is the race of yourself and the women you like? Latin and Asian men tend to be short. I have seen some very short white guys end up with very attractive Latin/Asian women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you are a 5ft 5 relatively
unattractive man with a decent 6 figure job (300-400k, early 30’s) and attractive women at your level professionally aren’t interested in you (for good reason, they have better options) but you do get a decent amount of interest from professional women you don’t find very attractive, plus women who are attractive but don’t have much of a career. Think server, retail worker in her 20’s who is pretty cute.

Who would you recommend going for?

Totally shallow post, but we live in a shallow world.

"they have better options"? Are you a woman? Who says that stuff? Who thinks this way? You can't rank people like that. Some of the shortest guys I know have wonderful beautiful girlfriends and no they are not rich.

Sure. But he also said he is unattractive and he is not willing to date women he deems unattractive so height is the least of his concerns. He is also crowdsourcing this on DCUM. I think you answered your own questions here; this is a classic 4 wondering if he can buy his way into a 7 or 8 with cash (maybe!) Or if he should "settle" for a 4 to 5 peer who he deems beneath him because they are not hot. I am not understanding this thread of sympathy and enthusiasm for this guy, it's kind of a classic gross male stereotype. He has said nothing at all about wanting a loving partner and longterm happy relationship, he sounds like a vapid loser looking to maximize his value with someone hotter than him. Im shocked by the female responses acting like this is a short guy thing. We've all met this type. If he were fun and lovely and charismatic this wouldnt be the "predicament."

If he were funny and lovely and charismatic, then he would be busy with the ladies, not looking for love advice on a mommy forum.

He sounds like an average joe (with a great salary) who is looking to maximize his options. But we can't answer this question for him, only he knows what he prioritizes. Some men just want a women who is sweet and a good cook and will clean up after him. Others want a supermodel who is also a medical doctor. No one can answer this question except for him.

[Anonymous]

Do you work out, OP? Short, fit guys can be hot, especially with confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you work out, OP? Short, fit guys can be hot, especially with confidence.

This is good advice. I have a friend who is 5’3” but he’s very fit even into his fifties and he’s charismatic and confident. He has successfully had multiple affairs and trust me, they’re not sleeping with him for his salary. It’s because he’s fun.

[Anonymous]

Less attractive professional woman as a wife and a cute waitress as a side piece. The best of both worlds!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Less attractive professional woman as a wife and a cute waitress as a side piece. The best of both worlds!

To add, you may want to look at late 30s women who are more pressed for time in terms of having kids and are ready to settle somewhat