Dating as short/unattractive man with decent income

[Anonymous]

Let’s say you are a 5ft 5 relatively
unattractive man with a decent 6 figure job (300-400k, early 30’s) and attractive women at your level professionally aren’t interested in you (for good reason, they have better options) but you do get a decent amount of interest from professional women you don’t find very attractive, plus women who are attractive but don’t have much of a career. Think server, retail worker in her 20’s who is pretty cute.

Who would you recommend going for?

Totally shallow post, but we live in a shallow world.

[Anonymous]

None of them. Have enough self worth to not go for someone who isn't attracted to you. They won't treat you well.

Go for someone who is into you for you and not what you can buy them or vice versa.

Look for chemsitry and compatibility, not status. If you are attracted to someone and they feel likewise, explore it.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, if your selling points are reduced to a height and an income, that’s what is going to limit you. I am only slightly taller and make half what you do and am not conventionally attractive, but have no trouble attracting women. Personality, character, respect, and demeanor matter. So who do you “go for”? The one who doesn’t care about your height and income.

[Anonymous]

Depends on whether you’re just looking for some fun or if you want something more long-term.

[Anonymous]

My husband is Asian, 5'6", slim build. He was dirt poor when I met him, but did have an MD and a PhD. My young adult son is 5'5", and super skinny. The men in that height range who found wives are all very confident. Two I know well, were not wealthy at all when they met their future wife. They do have high IQs.

All the short men I know married when they were mid-30s or older, and they married women who did not have the same educational achievements (although some came close). Some married educated tall blondes, some married recent immigrants without a high school degree, but who probably aren't any less intelligent. They're all happy, which is the most important thing.

I think you need to find someone you feel kinship with, OP, regardless of other criteria. Intelligence and kindness are more important than diplomas or careers. It might make more economic sense, if you want kids, to be the sole income earner anyway, so your wife can stay home and look after your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let’s say you are a 5ft 5 relatively
unattractive man with a decent 6 figure job (300-400k, early 30’s) and attractive women at your level professionally aren’t interested in you (for good reason, they have better options) but you do get a decent amount of interest from professional women you don’t find very attractive, plus women who are attractive but don’t have much of a career. Think server, retail worker in her 20’s who is pretty cute.

Who would you recommend going for?

Totally shallow post, but we live in a shallow world.

Its not who I would recommend. Its just common sense. You don't want to give others the same treatment you are getting for genetic inheritance. Instead of going for just looks, go for character and compatibility, it becomes more attractive with time.

[Anonymous]

Personally, I can't imagine getting attracted to a long term prospect just for their looks.

[Anonymous]

I’ve always found that some people who I may find unattractive at first glance, become attractive overtime as we get to know each other. Maybe that is not a thing anymore, with our constant barrage of Instagram ready looks?

[Anonymous]

Go with the person you’re drawn to who has good values.

[Anonymous]

Go for it. As long as your values are aligned. It's not bad to be the good looking one in the relationship

[Anonymous]

Do it! It's so nice knowing DH is loyal and grateful to me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if your selling points are reduced to a height and an income, that’s what is going to limit you. I am only slightly taller and make half what you do and am not conventionally attractive, but have no trouble attracting women. Personality, character, respect, and demeanor matter. So who do you “go for”? The one who doesn’t care about your height and income.

I emphasized my height because it’s a huge deal for most young women these days with respect to overall physical attractiveness. Like you can be handsome but if you aren’t at least a certain height it cancels it out. Overall, probably 80-90% of your dating success is some function of looks and socioeconomic status. I’m also guilty of it so not trying to complain or anything

[Anonymous]

My husband is 5’6, maybe 5’7, but claims 5’8, lol! We’ve been married 20 years and I’ve never measured him, not would I care to do so. I was attractive and he was smart, funny, and most of all cared about me. We were in the same field and had similar educational backgrounds and values and families with a similar economic status, so there was no imbalance there. We now have two beautiful daughters who are on the shorter side.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, if your selling points are reduced to a height and an income, that’s what is going to limit you. I am only slightly taller and make half what you do and am not conventionally attractive, but have no trouble attracting women. Personality, character, respect, and demeanor matter. So who do you “go for”? The one who doesn’t care about your height and income.

I emphasized my height because it’s a huge deal for most young women these days with respect to overall physical attractiveness. Like you can be handsome but if you aren’t at least a certain height it cancels it out. Overall, probably 80-90% of your dating success is some function of looks and socioeconomic status. I’m also guilty of it so not trying to complain or anything

I understand. It is what it is. It appears at least some women are showing interest in you, OP. Please focus on character and general fit, not just looks or career potential.

[Anonymous]

The one who got away was your height, OP. And not conventionally attractive. He was also fit, confident, charismatic, interesting, and the best in bed. Height was a non-issue. Looking back, the only issue was his cheating.