Spring break cruise coordination drama—do I just drop it?

[Anonymous]

My SIL tried this on a recent multigenerational family vacation at an all inclusive that had a theme of the day suggested dress code. She started a whatsap chat specifically for this and insisted that it should include my side of the family (my siblings and parents were also going). It was so annoying and caused major stress for my side because they felt like they had to buy special clothes, etc.

Don't do this. Stop with the special tropical shirts. It's so dumb.

[Anonymous]

Ugh, I would never have suggested such a terrible idea in the first place. Yes, please drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

This is so tacky. Cruises are bad enough, but matching outfits. Come on. Just let it go. People are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, but they don't want to be dressed up like 3 year olds.

OP here. It’s not mandatory. Clearly they want to join in, but only on their terms.

Well, yeah, but you want to do it on YOUR terms as well. We don't shop Amazon either. If I were in your group, I'd either suggest an alternative to purchase, suggest people wear their own Hawaiian shirts even if they don't match precisely (I didn't even make my bridesmaids match), or just not participate. Is it really drama that some people don't want to buy the one specific shirt you chose?

You would be a person who would opt out. This is a Wendy’s, ma’am.

[Anonymous]

Sounds pretty dumb and they might be mistaken for Proud boys terrorist group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say something like "I know its hard to coordinate everyone in such a big group. For the people who want to participate, use the link I sent. If you prefer not to, that's totally fine. Can't wait to catch up with everyone." And, then leave it alone. Don't respond again to any message about the shirt.

This is the best option. You will not get everyone to agree so its not worth trying to hash it out further.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

This is so tacky. Cruises are bad enough, but matching outfits. Come on. Just let it go. People are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, but they don't want to be dressed up like 3 year olds.

OP here. It’s not mandatory. Clearly they want to join in, but only on their terms.

Well, yeah, but you want to do it on YOUR terms as well. We don't shop Amazon either. If I were in your group, I'd either suggest an alternative to purchase, suggest people wear their own Hawaiian shirts even if they don't match precisely (I didn't even make my bridesmaids match), or just not participate. Is it really drama that some people don't want to buy the one specific shirt you chose?

You are the type of person who would make it a production. It’s a shirt. Buy it or don’t. It’s like a kid’s camp t-shirt: someone had to pick the design, so they did.

[Anonymous]

Drop it. I'm sorry but I really looked down on people who try to curate some specific aesthetic for a bunch of adults so that you can have what? A supposedly "cute" photo for social media? Blech. I don't understand why you couldn't have just said everybody bring a tropical shirt and be done with it.

[Anonymous]

OP if you cared so much, you should've just bought a big box of shirts and various sizes and plan to pass them out. Or make a bunch of T-shirts that match again you should pick up the tab. Otherwise quit trying to direct a bunch of adult adults.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’re going on a cruise for spring break that’s basically an extended family reunion. It’s a mix of people I’m very close to and others I barely know. We have a FB group for the trip.

A while back (and yes, maybe this was my first mistake), I suggested in a women-only post that we have one night where all the men show up wearing the same tropical shirt (“Caribbean Night” on the ship). I had seen it done on another cruise and it looked really fun in photos. Everyone loved the idea at the time. I said I’d pick something simple and post a link closer to sailing.

Fast forward to now. I found a very basic tropical shirt (similar to the example I originally shared with the group) on Amazon and posted the link, thinking this would be the easiest option for everyone. It’s NOT expensive and is on sale right now for $16 and change, and has great reviews. Still, cue the complaints.

Someone doesn’t want to order from Amazon.
Someone doesn’t like the color because it doesn’t coordinate with what she planned to wear.
Someone else says it won’t match what her kids are wearing.

It’s a basic tropical shirt. I intentionally kept it simple so it wouldn’t be over the top. Most people seem fine with it, but the few who aren’t are VERY loud. I don’t really want to abandon the idea because I think it would be fun and harmless, but I’m also annoyed that something meant to be lighthearted has turned into such a production.

WWYD? Drop it entirely? Try to crowd-source a different option and appease everyone? Or just say “this is the shirt, totally optional” and let it go?

Would love perspective before I dig myself in deeper.

Where’s the drama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

This is so tacky. Cruises are bad enough, but matching outfits. Come on. Just let it go. People are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, but they don't want to be dressed up like 3 year olds.

OP here. It’s not mandatory. Clearly they want to join in, but only on their terms.

Well, yeah, but you want to do it on YOUR terms as well. We don't shop Amazon either. If I were in your group, I'd either suggest an alternative to purchase, suggest people wear their own Hawaiian shirts even if they don't match precisely (I didn't even make my bridesmaids match), or just not participate. Is it really drama that some people don't want to buy the one specific shirt you chose?

Oh look, OP - one of your relatives has joined the chat!

[Anonymous]

You are a joke OP

[Anonymous]

I am the owner of a $15 pink Hawaiian shirt that I bought off Amazon for work breast cancer awareness x Hawaiian shirt spirit day.

The previous Hawaiian shirt day I was loaned one by a coworker then had to wash and bring back.

I decided it's worth $15 for me to make someone happy by conforming to their idea of fun.

And I don't think there's likely to be an ethically-sourced Hawaiian shirt unless you find some totally artisanal product that costs a fortune. Clothes mostly come from Asian low-wage factories.

[Anonymous]

Just drop it. I would not comment on it anymore. If someone else wants to pick
It up they can. Otherwise let it go.

It would be fun- but it is not so just let it go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say something like "I know its hard to coordinate everyone in such a big group. For the people who want to participate, use the link I sent. If you prefer not to, that's totally fine. Can't wait to catch up with everyone." And, then leave it alone. Don't respond again to any message about the shirt.

I agree. But I might reach out to the non Amazon person. Sometimes people don’t have a place where it can be safely delivered.

[Anonymous]

If people want to buy it they will. I wouldn't- I hate the idea of matching outfits. So just leave me out. If they aren't doing it- they don't want to join.