Spring break cruise coordination drama—do I just drop it?

[Anonymous]

We’re going on a cruise for spring break that’s basically an extended family reunion. It’s a mix of people I’m very close to and others I barely know. We have a FB group for the trip.

A while back (and yes, maybe this was my first mistake), I suggested in a women-only post that we have one night where all the men show up wearing the same tropical shirt (“Caribbean Night” on the ship). I had seen it done on another cruise and it looked really fun in photos. Everyone loved the idea at the time. I said I’d pick something simple and post a link closer to sailing.

Fast forward to now. I found a very basic tropical shirt (similar to the example I originally shared with the group) on Amazon and posted the link, thinking this would be the easiest option for everyone. It’s NOT expensive and is on sale right now for $16 and change, and has great reviews. Still, cue the complaints.

Someone doesn’t want to order from Amazon.
Someone doesn’t like the color because it doesn’t coordinate with what she planned to wear.
Someone else says it won’t match what her kids are wearing.

It’s a basic tropical shirt. I intentionally kept it simple so it wouldn’t be over the top. Most people seem fine with it, but the few who aren’t are VERY loud. I don’t really want to abandon the idea because I think it would be fun and harmless, but I’m also annoyed that something meant to be lighthearted has turned into such a production.

WWYD? Drop it entirely? Try to crowd-source a different option and appease everyone? Or just say “this is the shirt, totally optional” and let it go?

Would love perspective before I dig myself in deeper.

[Anonymous]

Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

[Anonymous]

Drop it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

[Anonymous]

One thousand percent drop it. It's just such busy and unnecessary work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

This is so tacky. Cruises are bad enough, but matching outfits. Come on. Just let it go. People are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, but they don't want to be dressed up like 3 year olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One thousand percent drop it. It's just such busy and unnecessary work.

I’d like to avoid dropping it because it could still be fun and most are on board. I also feel like making a grand declaration now would invite just as much drama. Is there a tactful way to do either, and avoid added drama?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

This is so tacky. Cruises are bad enough, but matching outfits. Come on. Just let it go. People are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, but they don't want to be dressed up like 3 year olds.

NP, but haven’t you seen this? All the men enter the room and realize their wives put them all in the same shirt. It’s really cute and makes for a fun photo op. Lighten up! You sound like you’d be one of the loud naysayers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thousand percent drop it. It's just such busy and unnecessary work.

I’d like to avoid dropping it because it could still be fun and most are on board. I also feel like making a grand declaration now would invite just as much drama. Is there a tactful way to do either, and avoid added drama?

Yes, you drop it. You've sent the link. People know you think it's cute. Those who are on board will get the shit and the ones who aren't won't. If only half of the people have the shirts, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

This is so tacky. Cruises are bad enough, but matching outfits. Come on. Just let it go. People are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, but they don't want to be dressed up like 3 year olds.

OP here. It’s not mandatory. Clearly they want to join in, but only on their terms.

[Anonymous]

I would just say something like "I know its hard to coordinate everyone in such a big group. For the people who want to participate, use the link I sent. If you prefer not to, that's totally fine. Can't wait to catch up with everyone." And, then leave it alone. Don't respond again to any message about the shirt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thousand percent drop it. It's just such busy and unnecessary work.

I’d like to avoid dropping it because it could still be fun and most are on board. I also feel like making a grand declaration now would invite just as much drama. Is there a tactful way to do either, and avoid added drama?

Yes, you drop it. You've sent the link. People know you think it's cute. Those who are on board will get the shit and the ones who aren't won't. If only half of the people have the shirts, so be it.

OP here. This is fine! I’m not trying to make it a mandatory event, just a fun option. By “drop it” you mean not engaging with them, correct? This is the shirt, meet in the dining room at 8pm, or whatever?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would just say something like "I know its hard to coordinate everyone in such a big group. For the people who want to participate, use the link I sent. If you prefer not to, that's totally fine. Can't wait to catch up with everyone." And, then leave it alone. Don't respond again to any message about the shirt.

Perfect! Thank you!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:One thousand percent drop it. It's just such busy and unnecessary work.

I’d like to avoid dropping it because it could still be fun and most are on board. I also feel like making a grand declaration now would invite just as much drama. Is there a tactful way to do either, and avoid added drama?

Yes, you drop it. You've sent the link. People know you think it's cute. Those who are on board will get the shit and the ones who aren't won't. If only half of the people have the shirts, so be it.

OP here. This is fine! I’m not trying to make it a mandatory event, just a fun option. By “drop it” you mean not engaging with them, correct? This is the shirt, meet in the dining room at 8pm, or whatever?

Exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can they jsut buy their own shirt? So it's just hawaiin shirt night? And some people match and others don't and life goes on.

They could, but it defeats the purpose and they’ll look out of place in the photo.

This is so tacky. Cruises are bad enough, but matching outfits. Come on. Just let it go. People are trying to be nice and don't want to hurt your feelings, but they don't want to be dressed up like 3 year olds.

OP here. It’s not mandatory. Clearly they want to join in, but only on their terms.

Well, yeah, but you want to do it on YOUR terms as well. We don't shop Amazon either. If I were in your group, I'd either suggest an alternative to purchase, suggest people wear their own Hawaiian shirts even if they don't match precisely (I didn't even make my bridesmaids match), or just not participate. Is it really drama that some people don't want to buy the one specific shirt you chose?